Are all sexual predators pedophiles?

by Lady Lee 37 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

Lady Lee

misery I think it has to be case by case at that age
I was always flirting with the guys at that age. I lied about my age and easily looked and acted much older. I wasn't having sex with anyone but I wasn't innocent either. I would have charging some 20 yr old for falling for my lies and taking it to the next level.
Both my daughters were sexually active in their teens. I didn't like it but made sure they had the information they needed to protect themselves. By the time they were 16 they weren't innocent. My granddaughter however is. Does she want a boyfriend - Yeah but she lives where freedom to come and go as she pleases is next to impossible so yea she is still a virgin.
Here by the age of 14 a girl can consent to sex with a boy close in age. But developmentally I think in some cases 16 yr and 20 yr is too much of a difference.
But this is a gray area psycholocically and legally. And I would not classify it as pedophilia unluiss like I said earlier that the guy (or gal) is going after a specific age all the time. If he is just hung up on 16 yr olds and dump them when they turn 17 to move on to his next 16 yr old then I think there is a bigger problem going on.
The thing with the psycho-social definition is that it is about what is going on in their heads - what is their fantasy? what turns them on? what are they most likely to act on if given the opportunity? If it is a child who they dump once the fantasy no longer applies then the problem arises pretty quickly.
Pedophiles who target pre-pubescents move on to another child once the present victim no longer fits the fantasy. I see no reason why that wouldn't apply whether their fantasy is 8, 10 , 14, or 16. It would still be pedophilia.
DaCheech

the only reason I have such conviction is that these guys "wet behind the ears" have no idea of the lifelong implications of such actions.......... and/or --> one day girls parents are OK and the next when parent has feud police are called............ tagged for life
Lady Lee

Perhaps it is the role of parents to make sure that young men are fully aware that having sex with another person has consequences even when it is clearly consensual and legal.
Too often we place all the responsibility on the female and the guys get a pat on the back for scoring.
VampireDCLXV

Too often we place all the responsibility on the female and the guys get a pat on the back for scoring.
I wholeheartedly agree! It's a disgusting double standard. Why is it that females get named and the boys get thumbs up? It's so wrong...
V665
funnyface

Men who do go after children often choose careers that will put them in cxlose proximity to children and in a manner that gives them a degree of authority over them - priests, teachers, coaches, "brothers". Pedophiles find most of their victims
This is so true. I object to those who said they children in the home should have been protected.
My husband molested my 13 year old daughter ,I watched my kids like a hawk,
never suspected this would happen,he also molested another 16 yr old. I told him he had to leave
at the time he was a Janitor in a girls school, he was fired.
I did take him back as I had a little one of 4 who cried for her Daddy, & my daughter 13 yr old said he could
return because he was so sorry!!!!! I thought he was truly repentent.
He was then hired a few years later by a nursery school. Which I got him fired from..
What bothers me now though.He has been dead since 1985. I looked after him until his death ( cancer)
I was a JW at the time ,had made my 13yr old a JW also( she still is)
But after someone has been dead for 20 yrs you can request their files from the DVA ,which I did
They kept trying to put me off, saying I would have to pay 20 cents a page, I said fine,but then they didnt send
this went on for over two years ,Until I finally said I was going to my MP as it was a law.
Imagine my shock when they came by Purulator as it was SO heavy to carry. They have every molestation
in there,told of every time I was beaten & in hospital from a fractured skull. Told how I was molested at 15
by him ( I know I was NUTS!!) I loved him all my love .....Every letter I wroote is in there begging them to
put him in hospital as he was not right. Every answer to me saying HE had to request that himself
Even have in there that he left my home because he was afraid of being arrested to live with his sister.
WHY!!!! DID THEY NOT DO MORE!!!!!! BY REPORTING IT >>>>????I did all I could. I love my daughter very much
that was molested, She is a JW ....She doesnt blame me thank God for what he did.
But of course she must shun me..My Alan died ,My Melanie died. my Faith died, so I have my Susan ( gus gus
on here) left. But please know that reporting people that touch, suggest etc is very,very, important.
Sorry it is so long .Mouthy
Lady Lee

Grace
Back then the law did very little to protect women and children from abusers. You may have gotten slightly more help from Social Services but even they didn't understand the seriousness of the problem. I spent 10 years looking for a counselor who knew about incest (1975-1985). The books about abuse were only starting top be written in the late 70s so it wasn't well understood.
Even in 1985 my counselor told me to keep the family together regardless of the abuse and depression I was living with. I just couldn't do it. I didn't think I would survive because death was beginning to look like the only option.
I don't know if you knew my sister's father. But when my mother and he were studying and going to meetings there was a point where there was my gtrandmother, 3 uncles (one of which married gusgus) my aunt, my 3 brothers myself and my sister - 12 people living in a 3 bedroom apt. We were so many that the uncles and brothers all slept in the living room which was converted into a dorm with 3 sets of bunkbeds.
And still my step-father found ways to sexually abuse my aunt and I!!! He got away with it for months before he was caught.
Never for one minute blame yourself for not knowing. Sexual perpetrators know what they are doing. I have said the following many times but I will say it again
I can accept understand that the first time a person acts out on a thought to sexually abuse a child it might be a spontaneous act. In some cases. But from the second of that first act the abuser has to make sure he or she will not be caught. The abuser must make sure the victim does not tell so comments that it is a special secret (usually used for young children) or threats that bad things will happen to them or people or things they love (more often used for older children) are used to silence the victim.
After that first time every single time he or she abuses that or any other child it has to be planned. They know the risks. They know they could be arrested. They know they as the adult (or older of the two if they are both minors) will be held responsible. But they do it anyway. They must plan to get the child alone. They must reinforce the secrecy. They must make sure they have time without being interrupted. They plan it very well.
The general rule is a 5 year age difference - a 7 and 12 yr old although size differences may be considered - say a 6 yr old and an 8 yr old who weighs a good 30 lbs more than the smaller child
There are women who do know and tirn a blind eye to it. They don't want to believe the child. They don't throw him out. They don't go to the authorities. They step back feeling relieved that they don't have to service him anymore. These women are sick beyond belief.
funnyface

Thanks Lee... I took him to Dr Bloomberg the first time he did it.& that Dr said
"I could put him away.But he will come out smelling bycycle seats"???
He told Frank to stop being stupid.. & love his wife..>ME!! Of course he went on to another
But I have to say That girl the 16 year old was enjoying Franks interest in her ,she would come
to my house while all my kids were there ,sit in front of him put her feet on the table
We were all shocked because she & my kids were never friends. We laughed about it
not knowing he had molested her....I probably would never have known ,except Frank had shown an interest
in her Mother....I was jealous & told her when she was bragging to another woman about him being
after her ,that she was welcome to him( of course in ANGER) it was then her other daughter told her about
Frank messing with the 16 yr old.The Mother then went after Frank....Oh How I wish I knew THEN all about
sexual preditors......But as usual I was stupid.......That is why i wanted a Paridise earth when they called on me
jam

i understand A pedophiles only target children they need to be lock up for good, but sexual
predators A lot of gray areas. Very few women are classified as sexual predators, we label them
as nymphomaniac.Just recently in Africa there have been 5 cases of women raping men. They drug
the men and had their way with them. The latest case when the man was coming out of the effect
of drug three women was raping him with A gun to his head. Now in Africa there is no law on the
books for this type of crime. The biggest problem for men ,and they need to realize A young girl between the age of
13-16 are under going changes with in her body.Girls at that age are seeking attention. They are young girls.
But would you classify A male A sexual predator if he tried to sleep with everyone that came in his path,
excluding under age girls or boys, and he is not A rapiest. I guess the word predator has A wide range.
In other words if he is not seeking out young girls and not raping people, then what should you call him?
It,s so easy for women to yell rape,Iam not in no way condoning rape but I do feel A lot of men have
been falsely accused. As A result they are label as A predators..

Are all sexual predators pedophiles?

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