2. Have absolutely NOTHING to do with anyone who is, or has been, a JW.
I disagree. Many get out and turn out to be normal people. If they get out on their own and are normal, where's the issue?
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld 62 Replies latest social relationships
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St George of England
Many get out and turn out to be normal people. If they get out on their own and are normal, where's the issue?
Very true NVL, unless you marry the one that decides after the wedding he/she really misses being a JW afterall and decides to return.
In the short time I have been posting on this forum, I have read the tragic experiences of such ones. Best be safe than sorry.
George
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steve2
He's already gor three strikes against him and you still want to win him over??!
1. He's skinny;
2. he's a red head;
3. He's raised in the JW religion.
I can see why your relationship with this skinny, red-head JW depends on the long distance. The image I have in my head is a very, very, very long distance. Girl, are you ever on a hiding to no where.
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garyneal
I'm afraid that she did not like the advice that we gave. I will have to admit, when I was first dating my wife, I would not have listened either. In fact, one good friend of mine who was exposed to this religion (though not from birth) warned me but I did not listen.
I thought I knew better.
Now, here I am wishing I had reconsidered. Our marraige is working but sometimes I think we could be much happier if she hadn't been a witness. It really boggles my mind the mind control that is present. Whenever she does anything that has to do with holidays, she really thinks she will die for it.
Mind control.
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herlovelyworld
I honestly do like the advice I'm getting. It's making loads of sense. And believe me, I'm taking it to heart and reconsidering things. Our relationship has already had a lot of ups and downs, and it might be better for everyone involved to cut our losses and move on. I do want to talk with him about it so he understands completely that I'm not leaving him BECAUSE of his religion, I would be leaving him because of the possibility for so much negativity in any future relationship/marriage. I can't live with the thought of my future children in desperate need of a blood transfusion and not being able to get that, I would indefinitely request power of attorney over any medical situations regarding our children. That's something that I can't compromise on. I understand why he believes he wouldn't be able to go along with that, but between the both of us, I have more common sense when it comes to being responsible, accepting responsibility, and using logic to make decisions. He has the idea of a cult, and I need to discuss with him my views on issues like that. If he's completely unable to realize the wrongdoing and negativity in the above scenario (children, blood, etc) then I think I can move on knowing I tried to help and just couldn't get through. There's a better chance that he will not be able to bend on issues such as that, and that's what I'm preparing myself for.
In regard to Steve2's post though... I love skinny red heads :3
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notverylikely
Very true NVL, unless you marry the one that decides after the wedding he/she really misses being a JW/gay/drugs/Jewish/being single/drinking all day/ in the KKK/a drug dealer afterall and decides to return.
There you go. I fixed that for you. Broken people that healed themselves should always be left, ignored, the pariah of society. Cast them out for their past mistakes, ones they may have had no control over, and let them wallow in the misery of the danger of what might happen.
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herlovelyworld
If I may ask, Breathing, why did you lose your faith in it?
I'm having trouble understanding how they can justify cutting people off and chastising them for their personal lives while claiming to be true Christian's. Maybe I just don't understand it, or maybe the church gave me values that are starting to surface more and more. Does it take some huge life-altering event to open your eyes to the injustice of it all? Trying to put myself in a similar situation, being lumped in with the family and realizing that I would lose them if I left, how do you pick up the courage to start thinking for yourself when the mind control has been strong for years?
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diamondiiz
cognizant dissident:
I misread her original post, I thought she said they just talked about oral sex not done so prior to marriage which would definitely get him a judicial meeting with a very possible disfellowshipping at the end of it.
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phoebed
Hi
This is phoebed. I posted briefly here before but I am very new here. When it comes to a relationship with a man who is JW, I would run! There is a doctrine of "headship" my sister and you dont want to get involved. I was a witness to many abuses of female witnesses by their "elder" husbands. Many women in Society suffer depression. My older sister is a wife of one "elder"who even physically abuses her. Another good friend
of mine is mentally abused by her very prominent "elder" husband. Women are constantly reminded to be in "submission" to men. That includes not only in spiritual things but also in everyday life- daily decision making. Man has the "last word". Although some of the witnesses do not live that way in private life, many of them do take this headship doctrine very seriously.
If you find yourself as a wife of seriously brainwashed witness husband- you may have it very difficult. My advice is- run!
Due to my very bad experience as a witness female I started a blog you can visit. I will keep posting more of the "female" issues there. If you see any gramma mistakes sorry, english is my 4th language.
Phoebed.
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phoebed
Hello there
It is phoebed again. I forgot to post link to my blog about women in watchtower society. Sorry! Here it is: