To be or not to be

justbreathe825

My bf is one of JW mainly to please his parents, since he doesn't believe half the stuff they preach. Now I'v been going to the meetings for over 2 years partly because is pretty much the only way I'd get his parents approval. I am in the process of studying the Bible to become baptized. I find many things to be useful to live apeaceful life but also many things I don't believe whatsoever.I feel like I have been pushed to a corner and even tho he says I don't have to do anything I also know that once I stop attending the meetings, studying, etc my relationship with his family is over and I don't want that because I love them. But at the same time even if I get baptized just for that...I refuse to go to more than one meetings a week, I don't want to do preching work...I don't want to be part of this religion. I just want to go to the meetings every sunday and make his parents happy (and him happy by extension).

I honestly think their religious practices suck,,,shunning??? that's just cruel...when they found out my bf was dtaing me many of his childhood friends just literally stopped talking to him. and he couldn't be a ministerial servant anymore. IN other words he got punished for dating me (an apostate)...but ppl want to make it look like it's not me...is him...is not my fault that he didn't follow the bible principes??? seriously? do they really think I am stupid like?

Does this make sense? Should I just get baptized make everyone happy change khs and just be a slacker?

leavingwt

Run away from this religion like a scalded ape and never look back. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

OUTLAW

Tubie..or..Not Tubie..

........................ ...OUTLAW

undercover

Do NOT get baptized.... I repeat: DO NOT GET BAPTIZED...

Once you get baptized then you are subject to their rules. If you try to be yourself and buck the tide of JW beliefs and practices, you open yourself up to the discipline and shunning that you detest.

If you don't want to be a JW, then don't.

It's time for your boyfriend to grow up and be a man. Is he going to remain loyal to the Watchtower or is he going to be loyal to his love for you? Is he afraid of his parents to the point that he won't displease them but will drop you if you don't want to join?

If he loves you...and doesn't really want to be a JW, then it's time for him to put up or shut up. You've got to force the issue. Because if you don't, he'll drag you into it and the time to say your piece and stand your ground will be lost.

If he can't leave...for whatever reason...even if he doesn't believe all of it, time for you to move on and find someone who will stand up for you when needed.

Ding

Undercover is absolutely right.

MMXIV

Welcome justbreathe825,

You've done a lot for your bf - he and his family should be very grateful to have you!

If you get baptised you are committing your life to this organisation. You can never leave without either being disfellowshipped which means being shunned by everyone including your bf and his family or disassociated which would result in the same things. This will happen if you ever admit you don't agree with everything they say. You could slowly leave over a long period of time which can be risky and most would shun you anyway.

This isn't a Sunday worship religion, this is mind control over years and years. Meeting attendance isn't an option. Field service isn't an option, the elders will hound you.

If your bf loved you he wouldn't be trying to trap you in this.

Sadly many on this site have gone to extreme lengths to leave the cult and still suffering from it.

mmxiv

Ding

Go to the "I HATE this religion" thread and see what the Watchtower is doing to Brotherdan and his family.

You do NOT want this.

If you have to violate your own common sense and personal convictions just to marry this bf, it's not worth it.

There are lots of decent guys out there who would be happy to marry YOU, not some Watchtower clone.

justbreathe825

Thank you everyone for your comments!!!

btw we celebrate birthdays in the d/l just not xmas (a holiday I love!) I don't see how that is going to work out when we have kids...he says we can do their bdays...but I wonder how other ppl are going to take it when they find out we do???? which they obviously will because kids are innocent and talk...I mean I am 25 want a family and want my family to be free form any cult...to be open-minded..is that even possible here?

Libelle

He might say birthdays now, but if he continues with the cult, that will stop.

Seriously, if he can't exit it, even if he says he doesn't believe it, save yourself the misery of being wed to a JW.

I say this as someone who is married to one. We were together without JW influence for years. Before we met, he studied for a while, and then stopped. Several years into our relationship, he picked it up again. Our relationship has never been the same since.

sir82

At some point he will feel pressure to choose between you and the religion.

In most cases like that, among JWs, "the religion" wins.

Even if you "win", be prepared for a rough ride as he works through feelings of guilt and depression.

Your odds of a having a successful relationship are quite small, sorry to say; your odds of having a "normal" relationship are virtually nil.

To be or not to be

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