Why was I disfellowshipped?

pes0210

I needed to get this off my chest for awhile back I confessed to the elders in my hall that I had SexbfM, I was dating a sister for 2 years and she wouldnt marry me until I became an elder like her dad. So I fell into some sin and did the deed, one night stand with a stranger. I felt bad for it and told the brothers, well they recommended me for dfing, I told them I wasnt sure where I was in life spiritually and they said I need to go on my own and figure it out...well 7 days or so later I went and called the PO and asked him if he would hear my repentance, he said it was too late (one day past the alotted time) and they already sent the letter to the society...well I asked what can I do and they recommened a judical comittee of like 8 brothers from surrounding halls to hear my case, well I sat in a massive circle of 10 or more brothers in a back room and opened up all of my repentance and tears and confessions, they all were in an agrement that I was worthy to stay in the organization becuase as they stated "you are a good fine brother that loves Jehovah" but.... they recounted that they have to go with the first decision they 3 elders in my hall made, then told me to work my way back in no time.....this was a turning point of craziness, my mother father brother sister all stopped talking to me imeddiatly not a word, they were from the old school 70's witnesses (not like the ones today) they were taught to be strickt! I was 20 and left home. Well my father who I was really close to my whole life felt obligated to Jehovah not to talk to me, well this hurt him to the bone and he was torn, soon after he had a stroke and heart failure, when I asked my mother what had happened she said "he couldnt take the fact you left the truth and you broke his heart" I was devastated to hear this, I tried to explain the elders blunder but they wouldnt listen to it. So my father died from this heart attack. He told me he loved me the week before outside in the parking lot after the memorial, and said I was a good son and not to worry and said look at the full moon tonight, then I drove off and waved goodbye to him. Shortly after his death I called a brother in Bethel that knew my father, after i explained what had happened above, he told me "when your father awakes in the new system of things and opens his eyes are you going to be there to make him happy?" this made me feel so bad and angry that after I opened up to this brother (incidently one that writes the literature publications) would put a threat of my fathers resurection unhapiness on my shoulders. Since then I have found a new way of living my life in possitivty and avoiding any religion that uses scare tactics and setups for family discord or any other harmfull things that they teach to make someone live in mortal fear. GOD IS LOVE, NOT FEAR! If he was a real friend at bethel he would have tried to help me and not scare me into belief. Just as a warning to anyone that thinks being a JW is safe it is not, disfellowshiping is a correction method it is not.

Joey Jo-Jo

This is sickening, they teach double standards without realizing it, unconditional love = conditional love.

BabaYaga

Good heavens!! I am so very, very, VERY SORRY this horrible thing happened to you! What they do to individuals and families is a CRIME.

Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man. I'm so very glad he told you he loved you and that you had that gorgeous moment together. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I hate to say it, but your friend's response was totally understandable... that is their only carrot and their only real guilt trip... the "New Earth" and the resurrection of loved ones! Until your friend himself awakens (if ever) this is the only response he knows to "encourage" others.

Strength and wisdom to you, and welcome to the forum. We're very glad you're here. I promise you... it gets better.

Love,
Baba.

pes0210

thankyou for listening, I have since realized what life is about and why there is religion and ones like the organization of JWS, I actually know the truth now... everyone listen the truth is "people need religion because they need direction" without religion people that cant control there own actions or mind they would be lost as a human, so religion is good for them...I know that you me and the rest of the world who thinks posivitely and controls ones thoughts does not need organized religion, but god is right here where you sit or stand, In you around you in everything! Amazingly he interacts with and enjoys answering all queries to him. I found this out by thinking about what truth really is... it is LOVE, the problem is nobody really thinks about what love really is... it is the care for another humans well being. :) I love all who responded to this message and this story of my life, thankyou!

ps: remember religion does help the lost ones, but you have the power to control your own freewill your mind, its a gift from god!

tec

I think your father understood love. I, too, am so happy that you had that moment with him, and that you do understand that God is love. And I'm so sorry that your love and your father's death was used against you.

Strength and peace and welcome to you,

Tammy

Listener

That is very sad pes and I went through something similar. Fortunately for you, you have come to a realization about God's love outside this one organization, it took me a long time to understand as the guilt deeply inbedded from a young age did not allow for this understanding.

The maddening thing is that due to your enlightenment they would say they were justified in their decision to carry through with the disfellowshipment.

african GB Member

Sad story indeed, I am glad you finally woken-up and found the truth about the Truth.

Welcome aboard.

etna

pes0210, I'm so sorry for you. I was born in and now am 50 and haven't gone for 4 years, woke up and found out it isn't a religon and it isn't christian, ITS A CULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Disfellowshipping is not discipline and its not loving, its BULLYING. I'm sorry about your dad, but keep trying with your other family members, one day they will wake up(hope).

Etna

RosePetal

Pes0210 I am so sorry, that is a heartbreaking story, like etna hubby and I are 54 and we have been out for a few years now and have come to the same conclusions. The witnesses have no idea what the true Gospel of Grace is and the true extent of Gods Love and mercy.

You have been bullied and harshly treated, for Christians the new covenant is a way of life, the true Church is people, cults however, promise much and deliver very little but claim to have to have the answer to all the questions of life and ask you to leave to them to think for you, they completely miss the point of Christian freedom which encourages us to seek the Holy Spirit ourselves and associate with those who feel the same.

There are no deadlines for repentance with God, he sees the heart, if you leave it to men and confess your sins to them knowing full well that they do not have the spirit of Christ, and you know how policies and procedures work with the JW org. it is not suprising the outcome is what you experienced was not comfort or forgiveness but was fear, torment, and certainly not love. Just procedure. The body of elders fear the organisation and they want you to fear it.

As you rightly said God is Love. "There is no fear in Love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in Love. We love him because he first loved us." 1John 4 v 18 & 19 NKJ.

I am glad you have not let go of the most important thing that is not 'what we go to' organised religion but ' Who we go to Christ Jesus our Lord, ' he is the only one who can save and forgive us.

Wishing you well in your new life Gods blessings RosePetalxxx

BorgHater

Pes, I feel so sad for you, what an awful thing to put on your shoulders. It sounds as though your father loved you very much. I also wish you happiness in your new life.

Much love, BorgHater xx

Why was I disfellowshipped?

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