salutatorian!,,wow,,that is fantastic when you got that even though you grew up in such JW disfunction. I would hope that you would consider going to college. Maybe you still could get a scholarship and grants? I know you mentioned you have a shyness, but you are obviously a strong girl. You've shown a lot of independent strength, going to college would take care of your shyness with a lot of knowledge and experience there.
A Lengthy Introduction
by Bitch on Parade 34 Replies latest jw experiences
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Nickolas
Hey, Bitch, don't sugar coat it. How do you really feel about the WTBTS? (I just know this will be quoted back to me out of context someday.)
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Scully
BOP
Regarding Child Protective Services: YES, I do think you have a case, especially with your younger siblings still in her care.
I think perhaps your mother could have been traumatized by your dad's illness and because she was never properly de-programmed from the JWs, felt that it was the only way to put her life "right" after rejecting the religion she grew up in. She needs help. Just like she would if she were a delusional paranoid schizophrenic - she is making choices for you and your siblings and herself based on religious delusions.
There's a saying in the mental health field: When one person experiences delusions, they call it schizophrenia. When a whole bunch of people experience the same delusions, they call it religion.
You need to find a private place to document your mom's irrational behaviour. Record dates, time, what was happening, what she says. DO NOT embellish. Be completely factual. If you have a cell phone that allows you to record audio clips when she is saying something irrational (like calling you "demonized" or something like that), do it - then forward the clips to a secure email address. The better your documentation, the better chances of getting people to listen to you and investigate her.
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FlyingHighNow
Sorry to hear that the WTB&TS has caused your mother to be so afraid that she hurt you as she has. You can get much support here.
Take that salutatorian status and get yourself into a good college. Don't get pregnant. Plan a good life so that you can help you and your younger sisters and possibly mother, too. In time, you will feel less and less of the Watchtower damage. You're young. You've got your whole life ahead of you and blank pages to fill with great decisions and times.
Welcome to JWN.
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Open mind
Rebellious, salutatorian, atheist.
You've got a bright future ahead of you. (Just go a little easy on the rebellious and you'll go far.)
Lots of great advice here.
Wishing you all the best.
om
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jamiebowers
Scully is right about documenting your mother's behavior and contacting childrens services. Please also contact your mom's siblings who left the cult before you leave to live with your boyfriend to let somebody know where you are and who you're with. There is nothing wrong with you living with your boyfriend, but please don't make him your whole life. Go to college or trade school to get an education or a skill. If you are self-supporting, no one will ever be able to push you around again. Depending on where you're going to be living, there are AmeriCorps programs that will provide you with a job and tuition assistance or sudent loan reimbursement. Also check out Planned Parenthood in your new city. There you can obtain birth control and reproductive health care based on your income.
You see like a very mature and intelligent girl.
Make your decisions wisely, and you'll be fine. Love the name, btw!
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Scully
This kind of behaviour is RECOGNIZED as religious child abuse:
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braveheart
Hello Lauren and Welcome !!
You sound like a very smart, confident, normal, and awesome young lady!
IMHO, I agree with you on the dumb down drugs...keep your mind clear.
As a Dad of three daughters...I pray your BF is a young man of integrity and will treat you right... and his family are good folk.
I hope your relationship with Mom will improve...there is always hope..just kill the cult with Love.
Peace and Strength in your journey of FREEDOM. -BH
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wasblind
Nickolus, this is a seventeen year old your takin' too
If you are older than she, I'm sure you can refer to
her as bop, it may not bother her but if you are older
you should set the example. Just sayin'
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Bitch on Parade
wasblind: My guidance counseler was a total idiot. She would always imply to the girls at school that their boyfriends were abusive if they were in a sexual relationship. Whenever I came to her about my mother she would just say stuff like "You know, I have similar rules in my household..." or "She's your mom and she has a right to set rules..." Fuck guidance counselers. Seriously.
cult classic: I feel that I know my boyfriend and his family really well. I've known him since my freshman year at our very small school, and was close friends with a girlfriend of his for a year or two who was very candid about him. I've also met all of his immediate family.
Gayle: I'm not even going to begin to think about furthering my education until I get my life a little more in order. I'm kinda getting out of dodge, as it were, right now.
Nickolas: I absolutely abhor the frightening, Orwellian society that is the WBTS and thinking about what they're doing to families and their children makes my blood boil.
Scully: My mom has sought out professional help before, and we've been in contact with many mental health professionals. None of them thought it was a problem, and one therapist even thought that her religious convictions were entirely healthy (she would tell anecdotes about how she'd routinely search her own children's rooms.) I'm moving out very soon and I've kind of run out of time to document anything she's done. I just never really thought that I had a serious case before because everyone I talked to about it acted like my mom was just a little nutty, and my situation was so similar to other kids growing up around me (some not even JWs), and none of them were able to recieve help or in some cases emancipation.
Flyinghighnow: No worries about pregnancy here. Babies terrify me.
Open mind: Thanks!
jamiebowers: Like I said, my mother cut off all contact with her family when she went back to the WTBS. I have no idea how to get in contact with her siblings, who don't live anywhere near us. Me and my boyfriend are both very independant, and while I'm not experienced with relationships by any means this isn't my first. I don't see making him my life becoming a problem. I've been doing a lot of research on the pros and cons of different birth control methods and discussing the options with him. A visit to planned parenthood is one of the first things on our agenda.
braveheart: Thanks! His mother's side of the family, which we are leaving behind here in Texas, are all a bunch of loonies. His mother is actually on a Watchtower subscription; I only hope that she doesn't feel so drawn to what is written in them that she joins the cult, because he has a very young sister who he often worries about leaving here in her mother's care (along with my sisters.) We're going to be up north with his dad's side of the family, who are somewhat dysfunctional but all around good people.
wasblind: It's cool for anyone to call me Bitch, Bitch on Parade, BOP or any variation thereof. If I found it offensive, I wouldn't have chosen it.
Thanks everyone for your kind words and interest, sorry if I missed anyone or anything!