this man is a ex minservant who was disfellowshipped years ago for an affair with his daughters friend (he married the girl eventually ) about 5 years before he was disfellowshipped he was reprooved for child sex abuse and kept in the cong ,then went on to abuse again another jw girl (that didnt get found out about at the time . ) a few years after that he abused my child , a non jw in court he was only sentenced for a few "smaller " charges but got off with a lot of things concerning all 3 victims which he had denied ! all the victims had not seen eachother in years and stories colloberated with eachother ! my question is if he wanted to go back to meetings would he have to admit to the elders all that he had done in order to get reinstated ? surley they would believe the word of 3 witnesses whose stories colloberated than a prooven child sex abuser and if he did admit all to them , do you think they would tell me so we could get justice at last ? and if he didnt admit all then i presume they would not be allowed to reinstate him . the 2 other victims are both grown up jws would they get them together with him in order to work out who was telling the truth , im pretty sure they would not want to be in the same room as him ! any elders out there who could answer this ? thanks
if a disfellowshipped child molester wanted to "go back "
by looloo 12 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
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aSphereisnotaCircle
Im not an elder but i can answer that question.
Yes, he can be allowed back in without confessing all. It all depends on who he knows and/or who he is related too.
The elders will do what they want to do and adjust the rules to fit.
I have known of two brothers that had impregnated their own daughters, later down the line they were made elders (one had been an elder when he got his daughter pregnant and was removed at the time)
They are just really popular guys that obviously know the right people. Both of the daughters are DFed of course and will never return, but dear old dad is a zealous witness so the dubs see the daughters as bad and the dads as good men who made a mistake long ago.
If he wants to be a witness, he will be seen as a good guy with the right "heart condition"
Looloo, the JW's do not go out of there way to take care of there own children, they certainly wont go out of there way to look after a non-believers child. You will never, ever, get any justice or normal human compassion from them.
I am so sorry for what happend to your daughter.
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looloo
a sphere , thankyou for your kind words , it is just what i feared actually and as for those guys who abused their own daughters it is so wicked that they got away with it ! and i can identify with the daughters ,as i feel so mad that some judge me as bad for leaving "the truth" and think abuser is ok because he still believes its the truth ! crazy people ! i personally think the elders will be quite pissed off with him , that is the impression i got off them anyway ,when i asked why they never reported him years ago for abuse . and i dont think his family are highly thought of so i dont think that would make a difference , but i can imagine him back "in the truth" one day as he always talked "the talk " even while abusing and raping his friends children !
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Scully
Basically, all a DFd child molester has to do is tell the Elders™ on his Judicial Committee™ that he is sorry. He has to be Repentant™. And then they can Reinstate™ him.
He does not have to apologize to his victims. He does not have to register as a sex offender in his jurisdiction. He does not have to turn himself over to the police.
In return for his apology to the Elders™ on his Judicial Committee™, they agree to keep his proclivities a secret. Because Judicial Committee™ matters are confidential. In addition, any victim who tells the truth about what the child molester did to them (for instance, to warn other families with children) is threatened with being DFd for slandering the child molester, which is kind of odd, because slander implies that malicious lies are being told. Slander, imho, should be the least of a child molester's concerns.
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looloo
how can elders go along with that and not feel its wrong ? amazing ! i was lied to then because they told me they would let me know if he admitted it , if so they must have just been trying to keep me "sweet " because of me being worldly and thefact that potentiallyi could have caused quite a stir ! well my conscience is clean concerning that matter ! i bet theirs isnt !
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aSphereisnotaCircle
The JW's have a very skewed understanding of human nature. They think that if a person wants to be a JW and is not currently "sinning" then that person is a good person. And if that person in the past was a child molesting serial murderer pimp, then all the more reason to praise JAh!
I have a dear friend that was molested at 8 years old by a 15 year old elders son. One of the first things the elders wanted to know, was if she "seduced" him! They just do not have any common sense!
The way they handle victims of abuse is just plain barbaric. They will try to make it out to be the victims fault. And they will toss the virctim to the curb to protect there own name every time.
And it's not just the higher ups that do this, the rank and file will do it to there own family, people they love. I was assaulted as a teenager and the elders flat out refused to help me, they said there was nothing they could do because it was his word against mine. They also forbade me to speak about it to anyone. Then they patted me on the head and sent me back home to live with the molester. They never bothered to check in on me, not once. I went back several more times, asking for help. There response was, to make excuses for the molester and then they would say "let me know if it happens again" As an adult it just boggles my mind that these men, that these fathers and grandfathers, could treat a child in there own congregation in that manner.
But what amazes me even more is my families defense of the elders. I know my family loves me but they must put the blame on me or their faith will crumble, so they do.
According to some of my JW family it was my fault the elders couldn't help me because I handled the whole thing wrong. I shouldn't have gone to the elders first, I should have gone to my mother first for help and then maybe the elders could have helped me. Now how much sense does that make? And this is from someone who cares about me!
I was a baptised member in good standing and they could not be bothered to lift a finger or even give me a kind word. If i was being assaulted or not simply meant nothing to these shephards of the flock.
This is how they treat there own children. Protect the JW name above all, even if you lose a few kids along the way. Their reputation will always be more important then the welfare of the members.
I left the JWs when I was in my early 30's, but the molester is still a member in good standing, so he's a good guy, and I'm not.
I am so glad (and amazed) I managed to leave,................ My daughters will never be treated like that.
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SweetBabyCheezits
Hi, sphere. Glad to know yas.
I have a dear friend that was molested at 8 years old by a 15 year old elders son. One of the first things the elders wanted to know, was if she "seduced" him! They just do not have any common sense!
WTF?! That is beyond ridiculous. Sounds like those elders had their own pedophilia issues if they thought an 8 year old girl was even capable of being seductive. I have an 8 yr old daughter and if any man (or teenage boy) EVEN uses the word "seduce" in reference to my little girl, he may find himself on the barrel end of a .12 ga shotgun.
The way they handle victims of abuse is just plain barbaric. They will try to make it out to be the victims fault. And they will toss the virctim to the curb to protect there own name every time.
This reminds me of my parents refusal to see the Bible's immoral treatment of women and especially rape victims. I asked how they could rationalize away scriptures like Deuteronomy 22:28-29 as being just, loving, or moral in any sense. They shrugged it off and said it was not our place to judge God's righteous ways.
I looked up the official WT rationalization on that verse and the WT of 11/15/89, p31, says, "This was a case of pressured seduction and/or fornication." Pressured seduction?! Again, WTF?! Why are we minimizing sex crimes, Watchtower?? Ohhh, we deny reality because we want to protect our precious faith in God's holy word.
Clearly some people put their faith above EVERYTHING else and switch off their brains.
I am, or should I say we are (I'll take the liberty of speaking for my wife), truly saddened/infuriated to hear about the cases you were involved in, sphere and looloo. The acts and perpetrators themselves are beyond heinous and anyone who fails to stand up in behalf of helpless victims, IMO, is practically an accomplice.
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LongHairGal
LOOLOO,
I am not an elder either, but I am sure he would be welcomed back with open arms like the prodigal son. I have seen how a man DFd for child molestation could be reinstated faster than a woman who committed fornication. Is there a bias here? You bet there is.
I think the reason for this 'lenient' treatment of men is because of the shortage of men. Quite simply, the religion wants to get and retain all the male members it can. It doesn't matter what KIND of men they are - as long as they have a pulse. They can put on a suit, fake the facade of being a good christian and go out in the ministry.....
In my opinion, sweeping child molestation accusations under the rug isn't just about protecting the reputation of the religion - it is about keeping whatever men are still there.
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aSphereisnotaCircle
Hi Cheezits, I always enjoy your posts.
I know of a number of victims of abuse that were further abused by the elders cruel actions. Even while still a believer I knew of cases, but always made excuses, "the elders are handling it" "theres more to the story that I dont know about" ........And I kept making excuses until I woke up.
When I was a little kid, me and my siblings were great friends with the Smith (not real name) family kids. Dad was an elder and it was well known that he beat his kids, and by beating I mean even the JWs thought it was excessive.
Then one day the Smiths were just gone, poof, and some really nasty rumers started circulating that I only vaguely understood. Turns out, Mom, Dad and the oldest daughter was all disfellowshipped and the family split up. That was about 40 years ago, I never heard from them again until just recently.
One of them found me on facebook and contacted me, and then the Smith "kids" and I had a great reunion a few months ago. I was so excited to see them again, I loved all of them as a kid and had always wondered what had happened.
Well I found out what happened. The dad had been raping the oldest girl since she was ten years old. When it came to light, she was 16 and the elders disfellowshipped her and her rapist for immorality. The Mom got DF'd for "willfull disobediance" because the elders told her she did not have grounds for divorce and must stay with hubby, she did not, she grabbed her kids and ran. She reported dad to the police and the only reason he was not arrested was he went across the border and checked into a mental hospital in another state, so the cops couldn't get him.
Guess what? My Jw siblings "don't remember" any Smith family. Even though they are several years older then me and were very close friends with the older smith kids, I was just the baby sister they let tag along sometimes. They were old enough to understand the rumers that were flying at that time, I was not.
How can anyone forget a story like that? Particularly when it happens to your best friends? A zealous JW can, because it's easyer to forget then it is to have to explain why something like that could be handled in such a barbaric way.
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SweetBabyCheezits
The dad had been raping the oldest girl since she was ten years old. When it came to light, she was 16 and the elders disfellowshipped her and her rapist for immorality.
The Mom got DF'd for "willfull disobediance" because the elders told her she did not have grounds for divorce and must stay with hubby, she did not, she grabbed her kids and ran.
Un. Freaking. Believable. How could those elders live with themselves? What does that say about the WT suppressing the instinctive moral compass of elders in such cases? And then to punish the girl .... isn't that some form of moral turpitude? How could an elder not hear the voice inside his own head, begging him to protect the innocent, to stand up for the poor child???
Sphere, did you ever read Crisis? Ray gave similar examples of the "old days" in which a mate committed act(s) of bestiality or homosexuality and the spouse had no grounds for divorce based on the "light" at that time. I believe in one of those cases, the innocent mate was DF'd for divorcing without grounds. But your Smith experience is so much worse. (I want to tell my elder brother about this and see what he says but I'm sure he wouldn't believe me.) What human being with half a heart would EVER want to be associated with an oranization that 1) gives itself the authority to make such judgment calls and 2) gets it SO wrong and destroys the lives of children?
"By the skillful and sustained use of propaganda, one can make a people see even heaven as hell or an extremely wretched life as paradise."
-Adolf Hitler
As for your family members who have selective memory, I'd be tempted to shove a photo in their face like they do on the cop shows.... you know how they always put a childhood picture of the victim in front of them and won't let them ignore it until they acknowledge the truth. Of course, maybe I shouldn't get all my ideas from Law & Order. It's a shame they choose not to remember.
