just had 2 elders invite me to my Judicial meeding about my marriage of two years. They think my husband was not legaly divorced. But he was and I had 3 lawyers tell me he was. I feel sick
they are going to DF me
by Found Sheep 49 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
So if 3 lawyers said you were, how do the elders plan on proving you weren't? Any opinion they could have has to be based on secular data, the same data you have.
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OnTheWayOut
Someone on JWN might provide some excellent advice on this if you tell the whole story. From just what you wrote, I would say that a simple letter saying that "these 3 lawyers" proved sufficiently that everything was legal and proper. Then go on to say how you have no intention of attending a judicial meeting since there is nothing to their allegations. Take away their power.
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Found Sheep
I know if I wanted legaly they are wrong but I just don't care to play there game. I would be fighting to be part of something I don't agree with. I will write all the facts on a local chat forem that the majority of people read in this area. Just to put out how stupid they are... but right now I am too upset to be a good writer.
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Nathan Natas
What country are you in? (or at least the continent, please)
What were the circumstances that caused you to seek the advice of three lawyers about his marital status?
Maybe the elders are saying that he wasn't SCRIPTURALLY free to marry you, which is different, as far as the WTB&TS is concerned, from being legally free to marry.
How old are you?
Are you siblings or cousins?
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blondie
I would just make copies of any legal responses you received from these lawyers (or call them to get one), then with a cover letter that is brief, just say "the enclosed legal papers confirm that my husband was divorced legally and properly before I married him. You can contact these lawyers if you need further explanation. Since I am not a lawyer and you are not either, I know you will accept this as legal and accurate. A meeting is not necessary then."
The rest of your story?
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/185718/1/fell-off-wagon
I let them get under my skin. I have been dealing with an elder that wants desperatly to df me. I've been strong and refused to talk to them. They think they have some legal loop hole that proves I am not legaly married? I spoke to a few legal experts and they all told me we are fine. We got married before all the paperwork was filed. The elder thinks it proves i was not free to marry because they were not finnished with the divorce. I have not been to the KH in over a year and i think they are a cult that hurts people, but i don't want to be df'ed for the obvious reasons, family, some friends... I don't know how to LET IT GO!!! I try so hard but just can't seem to LET IT GO! they only control me because i let them. oh side point... i think what got to me after reading COC - they wrote the GB and the GB said they had grounds to df me? I just don't get it?
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Found Sheep
In the USA 35 years old and we are NOT related by a far shot. different colors... A rumor went aroung from his EX that they were not divorced and the elder ran with it. wrote the GB and got the thumbs up to pursue a JC.
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blondie
I would then make copies or get copies that prove he was legally divorced and send them registered mail to the attention of the elders with a statement that a JC is not necessary since they now have legal confirmation. Otherwise if you did meet with them, you still would have to provide proof.
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zoiks
Sounds as though an elder had it in for you no matter what. The fact that they were looking for some sort of loophole with which to disfellowship you should tell you everything you need to know about their motives.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I would strongly recommend following Blondie's advice, and then let the chips fall where they may. There's no sense in fighting to stay in, as you pointed out. As long as they understand that you are legally fine according to the lawyers, you've done what you can.
Sorry again.
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brotherdan
They sure do know how to shepherd the flock, don't they? One word of something they don't think is right and they are ready to take action!
How could ANYONE think that what they are doing is "keeping the congregation clean"?!? It's sick. They are so sick.
Found Sheep, read Titus 1:11. It is what they are attempting to do. It's what all false prophets do. Their dishonest gain may not be monetary...but it is the power and authority that they get off on.
I am TRULY sorry for what you are having to go through! DO NOT LET THEM AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE!