It's OK Lurkers, Paranoid former JW's, and even you current JW's....

by AllTimeJeff 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad

    It is not fear or nervousness that keeps me from posting here as it is concern for loved ones in the organization. For a lack of a better term, I have been labeled at times as a 'patriarch' if you will. I am in my mid sixties, been in the 'truth' for 40+ years. My sweetheart of a wife & I have more than our share of kids who are adults with their families (grandchildren) who also are in the 'truth'. My wife shares the same disappointments toward the organization that I have. Unfortunately our children while they may be aware of issues in the organization are quick to write them off and are inclined to give the leadership the benefit of the doubt (for the time being). My wife & I know better!

    Many have commented that I am at a stage of my life with the experience that I have, that you would think I would be more visible in the congregation (serving as an elder once again, having more parts, shepherding the flock and the like). Frankly, I find it quite difficult to stomach what I am doing as a M.S. what with the lies, deception, hypocrisy and such that I've seen over the years. Because there are those who wonder, especially among the body, why I don't do more, there is as a result an air of suspision perhaps of my loyalty. That doesn't worry me much as I know how to bullsh*t my way with them. I hope you can begin to see my dilemma. I have obligations to a number of loved ones not to mention long time friends, but especially to my family. Don't get me wrong, I none the less still stand up for what I believe in and for what many of you believe in. I've done my share of going 'toe to toe' and 'nose to nose' with the c.o. and elders over matters that are dear to me.

    I have been visiting the various forums such as this one for a number of years now. It has been like therapy for me and for that I thank all of you. I think you cover a wide range of topics rather nicely. This affords me an opportunity to for example thank "Blondie" for her hard work in critiquing the Watchtower study articles. Keep up the good work! I soo look forward to them! I look forward to expressing my appreciation to many more of you as time goes on. Thank you Jeff for raising this topic and allowing me to explain my situation. My guess is there are literally thousands like my wife and myself who have to fly below the 'radar' of the society. It is not as though we lead double lives or that we have a double standard. But as you know there is indeed a price to pay. I know well the price Raymond Franz & his wife paid. I think often of their mistreatment by the society. This is a JW GoneBad saying thank you.

  • thenoblelodge
    thenoblelodge

    JW GoneBad ((((((hugs))))))

    It is very tough when you have family still in, very, very difficult to just walk away. I'm one of the lucky ones, all my family are out so I have no ties. As for old friends...well if they want to shun me they are free to do so. I don't do conditional.

    Hopefully one day you will be totally free from them.

    Peace to you.

  • 3dogs1husband
    3dogs1husband

    JW GoneBad

    I only recently joined, and have been trying to fade for a long time. Personal events and helping with a close family member are speeding my fade and his last fadeing (missing the SAD, and NO meetings in 2months) has made them circle (family elders friends) snd now I am wondering If I will be forced to pay the high price?

    How many of us our out there, if we as a collective stood up and made our stand at once....who would be left?

  • Curtains
    Curtains

    it is hard not to be paranoid. A family member told me about this site and I have been reading many topics. Family mmembers can change and go back - so everything is iffy

    I like the bible topics best.

  • serein
    serein

    hi am new tol this forum, and i stoped going khall a year ago

    but still got probs in life trying to go forward,i left cos of isuse with blood and many more,

    i still beleive in god but not the jws,the main prob with me is geting the brain washing out of my head,

    like xmas is coming up and its making me dead uncomfortable,cos iv got like a walton family full of kids,i dont have other fam members in "truth" only my ex mom inlaw so thats easy for me and as freinds are they were never my freinds so iv lost nothing.

  • Sapphy
    Sapphy

    Welcome everyone posting! And Hi to the lurkers, settle down & have a

    JW Gone Bad - lovely post, I do hope there are many more like you (& me) - the ones that the JW hardliners call 'weak', or 'waste of space' - & I so agree with you about Blondie's 'Comments you will not hear', for a while at the beginning, those posts were the only ones I would read!

    3Dogs1Husband - Hmm, yes. If we all stood up and left, how many would remain? I think they'd lose at least a million.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Welcome Serein & JWGoneBad. Glad both of you joined and looking forward to your other postings.

    Think About It

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    Welcome Serein and JWGonebad!

    Its crazy how after certain "events", there's a surge of newbies. Its awesome!

  • onemore
    onemore

    When I first started to post, I got a little paranoid thinking that I would get caught. And for a short time, I even believed that some fellow elders were suspecting that I was onemore from the apostate site. But nahhh! It was all an unfounded fear.

    As a matter of fact, posting here helped me to release some of the tension I was building-up inside my heart. I would never regret posting here; it has been a big therapy for me. Thanks to this forum, I was able to: 1) get out of serving as an elder in a smooth painless fashion; 2) help my wife see the truth about the “Truth”; 3) plan and execute my fade; 4) realize that I was not alone in my doubts and confusion; and last but not least…I was able to free myself from the fear and control that the WT exercised over me for so many years.

    The discussions, the personal experiences, the open flow of ideas and information all of those things combined helped me in my quest for truth and freedom.

    So…lurkers and new ones! Don’t be afraid…King Kong ain’t got nothing on YOU!

    JW Gonebad. Welcome to this forum. My respects to you sir! So that you know, you have a brother and a friend in arms, on the other side of your monitor. Your experience reminds me of a clip from the movie The Invasion…I wonder how many thousands (maybe millions) of active JW feel and act in a similar way.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n57fY0MR78A

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    JW GONE BAD,

    You sound like you could be 'any JW' in any hall who has doubts but keeps a low profile for the sake of family there. I am glad you are not an elder though. That would be the ultimate hypocrisy.

    Even though you are able to B.S. them, they are still concerned about your 'loyalty'. I suppose, in their eyes, a brother with your years who has some brains and has family, friends, etc. should be 'reaching out'. If not, you would be suspect. There is a shortage of men in the religion so any brother with a pulse is expected to go for it. Otherwise he can expect to be criticized.

    I am convinced that there are many JWs who are currently attending ONLY because they have family there and cannot leave without consequences - social and even financial. If you had a business, you would lose your business contacts overnight if you disassociated yourself. Not a pretty sight. Your family would shun you and it would hurt you deeply if you did not see your grandchildren. Yes, this religion is a real tragedy and I am glad I am done with it.

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