ELDERS want to meet with me?

by Smoky 22 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Smoky

  Its been about 5 years since i've talked to the elders in the my old congregation. Now the elders from my parents Congregation, want to come by and talk with me (sheperding call?). I know one of them, I believe they feel obligated since I llive in there Territory. Should i be worried? I do remember reading somewhere about the Elders are being pushed to get the inactive members back in or are they looking for a reason to disfellowship me?

  Any suggestions on how to handle this, or What to expect?

  Smoky

  Smoke'em if you Got'em
• 

  sabastious

  This situation will be drastically different depending on the Elders you get.

  Don't get cornered if they try to corner you. Gauge their motivations and act accordingly. If they are on a witch hunt, keep it brief.

  -Sab
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  In my case, I know what the simplest answer is. I have been gone for so long that they can apply the general rule that I don't answer to their authority, therefore they don't have to bother me unless I am blatent with Watchtower-defined sins.

  In other words, if I met with them, it shows that I will still answer to them. That means they have an obligation toward me- either get me in or get me out. If I don't meet with them, then they have no such obligation.

  I said "No, thanks for calling" about a year ago to an offer for a shepherding call. I will stick with that exact answer if they ever call again.
• 

  Think About It

  Being out for 5 years and on this website, I doubt you are interested in going back. Why even bother meeting for a sheperding call? I may be wrong, but if you are a smoker they will jump on that to DF you. Unless you are interested, you would probably be better off getting word to them not to bother.

  Think About It
• 

  leavingwt

  There are only two reasons to meet with elders.

  1. To lie to them.

  2. To get yourself disfellowshipped.

  If you mess with the bull, you'll get the horn.
• 

  GrandmaJones

  I agree. It may be best not to meet. Make up a reason. Or not. If it were me, I wouldn't let them. You don't have to accept a "sheparding call", and I have refused them before even when I was very active. I told them I thought their time might be better spent with someone else.
• 

  donuthole

  @Smoky

  It may be that they sincerely want to visit with you and see how you are doing; however, don't discount the idea that they might be stopping by to see how you feel about "Jehovah's Organization" with the idea of getting you back to the meetings or disfellowshipping you. You asked, "Should I be worried?" I assume that meant you still want to remain a Witness, officially, while still being inactive.

  If it was simply one elder dropping by I wouldn't worry too much. If there are two elders than they might be making an investigation visit. If you don't want to be disfellowshipped you need to be very, very guarded with what you say to them. You would want to avoid expressing any doubts over their practices or teachings. You specifically need to avoid the question, "Do you believe this is Jehovah's Organization?". You also need to be careful if they try to put you in a corner by asking, "Do you still feel you are one of Jehovah's Witnesses?" What they may be doing is trying to lead you into a line of conversation where you will disassociate yourself by word.

  I don't know your reason for being out for five years but the the explanation that they will accept the best would be discouragement over how people treated you. Alternatively you could talk about depression or getting distracted with work and life or something like that.

  It might be best to put off the meeting and see how persistant they are to meet with you. Unless they are on witch hunt, Elders can be pretty unzealous about their theocratic routines. In the new elder's book they are specificly counseled against spending too much time with "chronic cases". If you put off their visit they might lose interest.
• 

  WingCommander

  5 years since your last meeting and/or Elder visit, and now they wanna chat?? They must have found out about some sort of "brazen conduct" on your part. Haha.

  1.) Ask them where they've been the last 5 years

  and before they can give you an answer...............

  2.) .................state that you know where they are and that you'll let them know when you'd like a visit from them. **CLICK**

  .........Elder sits stunned in his house with phone in his hand. So much for his delusion of being a "Prince among men."

  - Wing Commander
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  Watchtowers Witnesses

  Most likely it's a witchhunt. Be prepared for the worst case scenario. I would string them along, set up a meeting and then don't go. Continue this for months, or until you get bored of it.

  I do remember reading somewhere about the Elders are being pushed to get the inactive members back in

  I've gotten the exact opposite impression. They usually are interested in inactive ones when they're looking for a reason to disfellowship or get you to disassociate. Once you’re off the books they don’t have to waste their time on shepherding calls.
• 

  undercover

  I've been inactive longer than you and I got a sheparding call shortly before the Memorial. I wondered what was up because they were pretty damn insistent on meeting. I tried to juke and jive out of it but they finally pinned me down on a time.

  I figured it was the new "put up or get out" pressure we had heard rumored about, but it was nothing like that. They were just following the spirit and letter of Mother's rules of visiting the inactive and "encouraging" them.

  I kinda got worked up about it, ready to do battle but in the end it was nothing special. They bullshitted a bit, I avoided answering questions and they wished me a fond farewell while inviting me to the KH for the Memorial.

  So, like's been said already, it depends on what their motive is. If they've heard some disturbing news about you, then they be in a preliminary "investigation". Otherwise they're just doing an inactive sheparding call.

  If you don't care about trying to remain "faded" for family sake you can just tell you don't need their assistance. They'll probably talk shit about you when they leave, but there's not much they can do without a confession or two witnesses. If you're trying to stay under the radar, you could meet with them, but just don't let them get you talking too much. Keep it short and sweet. You can disarm them with kindness and friendliness.