Life is really pointless. Just a big ass recycling of matter.
Life is about respecting life and all that it can possibly offer us.
Life is about making your life experience better and hopefully making others better as well.
Do you strive to make others life better or do just ponder and think about only death and what has to offer ?
If your answer is yes you might and should make an appointment with a local mental health provider in your community
and seek some personal help for yourself.
By the way the Hell, Heaven and eternal Paradise stuff you obtain from religious organizations are nothing
but nonsensical mythology, in other words when we die we die, thats it, so you better start making the best of it,
and make someone else's life better along the way.