Children - Your experiences of being raised a JW

by jambon1 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  jambon1

  Yes, it's my favourite subject. In fact, it fascinates me. I am also confident that we can learn a lot from peoples experiences & that perhaps even a few families may avoid repeating the same tragic mistakes made by the ill-advised parents of children raised in the Jehovah's Witness religion.

  As some of you will be aware I have had a struggle in the past to free my children of the criminal effects of WTS doctrine on the minds of my infant children. You may like to read my experiences in this regard on page 10 of my 'topics started'. The story is in 3 parts. (sorry I can't seem to post links)

  The subject springs to mind due to the time of year being when JW children are denied many of the enjoyable activities that most other children are involved in. I'm not interested in the JW view that 'not everything that worldly children are involved in is harmless.' All I am interested in is the effect that being raised a JW had on you personally. Not just in matters relating to celebrations you weren't part of but also the psycological effect of the teachings of the religion. Were they positive or negative?

  In addition, how did your parents react to your feelings if you ever raised the matter with them?

  Make your post as long or short as you like. I am interested in all experiences.

  Many thanks.

  J
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  Ding

  I wasn't raised in it so I can't directly answer your question.

  I look at it from the point of view that the WTS doesn't allow JWs to develop true friendships outside the organization.

  So if a JW develops doubts about the organization, he or she thinks, "Where else can I go?"

  They don't know that there are a lot of nice people out here who would be happy to be their friend and love them for who they are.

  A very effective mind control strategy.

  Very sad.
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  St George of England

  The only positive feature of being raised a JW is that it made me tough at school.

  In the 1950's and early 60's boxing was still promoted at school and I was pretty good at it. For many years I was the only JW in the school and always worked on the principle 'one good fistful is worth a thousand words'. No-one ever gave me any grief over my beliefs despite not going into RE or morning assembly.

  Even today I never worry about what anyone thinks of me.

  No other good features though; missed out on some real cute chicks at the school next door!

  George
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  smoresz

  Being raised as a JW was very difficult for me and I think had a very negative impact on my life. My parents were Bap. when i was in kindergarden, but they were not very strong in the truth, they had zeal for first couple yrs then became inactive. So i was taught thats its wrong to celebrate holidays and birthdays, but never really given a firm strong example to learn from. My father was abusive to my mother and he drank alot. But yet he always would feel regret and talk about Jehovah and the truth and that he whats to get back in stuff like that. Well in the end of it by the time i was about to finish high school my parents were divorced (adultery on both sides). They remain NA as of today. Well am in my twenties, I feel I lost a huge part of my life, i never did birthdays and celebrations and i hated it. I once in 3rd grade had drawn and colored a X-mas reef in class, my sis found out and told my parents, I felt soooo bad I cried and cried and my parents got after me for it. What stress that puts on a young very young child. And to go through all that for what???? for what????

  I never went to college because i thought "the end" was so close, "higher education" is the Devil. Don't be "greedy" or a "lover of money". Yeah yeah i without parents involvement studied to see why i was raised never to celebrate and other issues i was taught, and drove into my head by hypocritical parents. Well all in all am out of the "org", and one thing i do wish is i wish i never was introduced into this religion. I struggled in life buying into supposed "promises", and it cost me alot of grief, money, and most importantly part of my life one of the most important part that i will never get back.
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  Joey Jo-Jo

  Born and raised as a jw but my parents never forced me or gave me encouragement to enroll, I still went to meetings and witnessing so I can't say I had the worst upbringing but due to the indoctrination and JW mentality I didn't get along in high school, I was too quiet too introverted and did not respect other people's view. My mum tells me that in my first 3 years I was very extroverted and never expected me to change, could have something to do with mind control, I still have not changed completely but I'm not so judgmental(strong sense of justice) and not as concerned on what other people think of me.

  My parents were not opposed on education, never fanatic like some but they didn't allow me to associate with "worldly" people or hang out at night. Even if I was not considered spiritual strong, double talk and hypocrisy was consistent with brothers like its normal because sinning is part of being human (that was an excuse a brother gave me), but they never amended their small sins like its "ok to tell a white lie", some brothers and sisters were disfellowshipped and others left, majority of them cheat on their tax return, at the meeting they had their on little friend clubs instead of being united and some brothers/sisters hated others, gossip was normal...so much for love.. but when it came to preaching or teaching to other people they had good intentions. Thinking that God wants them to preach the word (not the word) and thinking that the end will come soon and thinking that they will have internal life on earth, eventually for some illusion meets with reality, others are still blinded by the illusion.

  Being free from it all gives me such a greater knowledge about the bible, religion and agnostic views, things that JW's don't know.
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  GrandmaJones

  My parents were very inconsistant in their dealings with all of us kids. We had worldly friends. (but not a lot) They could spend the night. I dated worldly boys, (but they constantly worried I'd have sex so I don't know why they let me) I was involved occasionally with after school clubs etc. I hate sports, so I never asked, but I went to the school basketball games and football games with my friends. They always bought us gifts and wrapped them, but not at Christmas, always a week or so before or a week after. They were generous, and bought things all year for us. I actually felt I was better off than most other kids in that way, because I didn't have to wait for my birthday to get what I wanted, and my gifts weren't stuff like clothes, it was things I really wanted. They bought my clothes regularly and they were nice clothes.

  They never studied with us. They would be inconsistant with meetings. Either we went constantly, sick or not, or...we didn't go for weeks on end...

  Now, the really negative.......DRILLED the JW experiences under the Nazi's into my head...I mean drilled.. I was terrified of persecution, and terrified that the demons knew my weakness and would REALLY torture me even more than others.

  As a matter of fact, I have spent my entire adult life afraid to speak my mind on certain subjects because the demons might hear. I couldn't even pray out loud.

  Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon......relentless....

  Ugly reminders that in ancient times, parents could stone their children for things.

  Going ballistic if I began to get serious about a boy I was dating. Examined my underpants when I came home. (ugh. that's abusive, don't you think?)

  I could go on, but I won't. Really not pleasant memories on many fronts.
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  watersprout

  It was HELL HELL and more HELL!

  My parents were ace, just the upbringing in the Watchtower was complete and utter HELL!

  The fear of Armaggeddon ran deep within me and i feared life...At least now at 30 years of age i can finally be free of all the indoctrination and live a fantastic anxiety free life!

  Peace
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  tenyearsafter

  Not all bad, but constant reminders that I was never doing enough and feeling "different" because of holidays, flag salute, etc. made me feel very insecure as a kid. I worried about Armageddon and not surviving, and I worried about getting seriously injured without having blood as a treatment option. I also felt I would never see my 20's, much less be approaching 60!!

  It is a wonder I didn't carry all of that baggage with me once I left. I won't say that a little of the old JW personality doesn't creep in to my thinking, but overall I feel pretty healthy.
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  exwhyzee

  In the 1950's and early 60's boxing was still promoted at school and I was pretty good at it.

  In Junior High school in the 70's when we were about to learn Wrestling in Gym class, one of our Elders came to the school to explain to our gym teacher why JW kids, as servants of God, didn't need to learn how to fight. Talk about embarrasing. We had to stand on the sidelines of the wrestling mats and watch everyone else learning the moves. At least during the Holidays we could be out of sight in the library.
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  WTWizard

  "Not all activities that worldly people participate in are harmless."

  And that can be said for activities that the witlesses participate in. What about field circus itself? How many children waste their whole lives going knocking on doors? No time for play. They take sizable risks when they go out because they are told to be foolhardy. Whether they get threatened with a gun, a can of pepper spray, or a dog doesn't matter to the witlesses. They go into an area where they don't belong, and get mugged because of a street crime. They get into an accident because they stupidly go in field circus while too tired or in dangerous conditions. And, the "food" they tend to eat is, when eaten every day, poison. That is why so many of them are fat.

  The boasting sessions themselves are far from harmless. They start with "music(??)", which is worse now than ever. These songs are sounding more like cult chants than hymns. During the boasting sessions, they are told that, if they do or think like normal people, they are soon going to die. Every part is designed to make people feel threatened that, if they start thinking as regular people do, they are going to die. This prevents them from integrated thinking at any level, and is thus far from harmless.

  I do agree that there are many worldly activities that are not harmless. But, for many of them, the rewards outweigh the risks. Going to college costs you money and there is a risk (a tiny one) of getting on drugs or getting a disease. Some get killed in college. However, most survive and move onto adulthood. The alternative is to pio-sneer, go to Beth Hell, and stagnate--and you could still get killed in an automobile accident or a crime. Most of those people, in lieu of adulthood, reach dorkhood. Better to take that tiny risk and live, than stagnate and die.