Field Service Drains Me....

by shadowolf 33 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Vent away, and accept my sympathy. I understand that you simply cannot stop being a JW without consequences. It is easy for some to suggest you just don't go in field service or just tell everyone what you think of JW's. But it ain't easy to be in your shoes.

  If you hope your parents will help with college, good luck getting JW's to do so. They might. Make getting into college a high priority and look for ways to do it. Maybe you will be on your own, but just maybe they will come through and help after you have worked so hard for that.

  My suggestions: As far as field recruiting goes, if you feel you must keep going because you are baptized and living at home, then do a lousy job. Pretend to ring some bells and don't actually push them all the way. Just offer the mags without any real presentation. Don't keep track of "placements" and don't have any "return visits" of any consequence. Keep your hours low no matter what. Even if you were dragged out a bunch, write lower hours.
• 

  cameo-d

  Shadowolf,

  Please make an appointment to go and talk to the school guidance counselor. Don't be afraid to spill your guts and tell him/her what's on your mind. I am sure this is affecting your schoolwork as well. Don't let this pressure from JWs squelch your future and your ambitions. Your time could be put to better use than going out door to door doing something that makes you feel bad about yourself. You need an understanding adult that is in a position to help you and has experience in guiding young people. The school counselor will probably have some ideas to help you that others here may not have thought of.
• 

  AwSnap

  I believe those people who criticized you did not realize that you're a younger person.

  Ever since being a kid, field service drained me. I never read the magazines beforehand and I always felt anxious presenting something i didnt even know about or believe in.

  Nobody knows your situation or family dynamics, but I think you're going to be just fine. You have no idea how wonderful the "world" can be. Hopefully one day you can get over all the things that you hate and that drain you, and start finding things that make you happy.

  Best wishes.
• 

  Chalam

  Welcome shadowolf!

  Forgive me for being blunt but the bible says those who preach another gospel are under a curse.

  Galatians 1:6-10 (English Standard Version)

  No Other Gospel

  6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.

  10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

  Is the message you are preaching the gospel of Christ or of the WT? Are you a servant of Christ or the WT?

  Here is THE gospel.

  1 Corinthians 15:1-6 (New International Version)

  The Resurrection of Christ

  1 Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. 2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

  3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, 5 and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve. 6 After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.

  Yes, it is that simple, Christ died for our sins and was raised on the third day. Believe that and you will be saved. Preach anything else and you are in difficulty. Blessings in Christ, Stephen
• 

  WTWizard

  This is one more reason why I think baptism before 21, or 18 plus having read Crisis of Conscience through, is dangerous. Jesus didn't get baptized until 30 and he was supposedly perfect! And now they want you spending after school out in field circus so you can't focus on your school work and earn merit-based scholarships. They will also try to impose that you waste Tuesday and Thursday evenings studying for boasting sessions or on Family Waste the Evening Night, again preventing you from studying.

  Worse, if you fail to do field circus when you are supposed to, your parents will hound you. They want you out every damn afternoon, all damn afternoon, and if you have school work, to hell with it. It can wait for "some other time", which will also be usurped for field circus and/or boasting sessions. They want you out every damn weekend, all damn weekend. And, they want you to pio-sneer every time you get a week off from school. If you refuse to pio-sneer during each and every one of those months or fail to get your time in, they will hound and harass you to death.

  I would simply respond by "If you keep nagging me to pio-sneer, you are depriving me the ability to do it for Jehovah and not for man. If I do give in and pio-sneer now, after all this hounding, it will be simply to please you and therefore a complete waste of my time." That said, limit your field circus to no more than the national average or a little less--perhaps doing crap field circus for 2 hours once a week. Spending 2 hours on Saturday morning doing crap service, or on Sunday before or after the boasting session, might appease the parents for a while. Never do both on the same week. And never agree to sacrifice important school work just for an afternoon of field circus, or waste your whole school vacation doing field circus. If you must, 2 hours of crap field circus a maximum of 2 days during an off-school week is advised. Never stay out "just because you are off from school"--if you are hounded, again the "Now that you hounded me to stay out, it no longer counts as it is now to please you and not God" should work.

  And, never even attempt to do better field circus. Your whole goal is to just appease your parents until you can move out on your own. They probably have the whole structure rigged to prevent you from moving out--I have seen too many witless children staying with their parents into their 30s and beyond, full time. You should be trying to work toward a career--even a short term one that will allow you to move out without support from your parents. At which time, start blowing off every single boasting session and pull the plug altogether on field circus.
• 

  cantleave

  Hey shadowolf, hang in there mate.

  Do what is right for you at you pace. When I started to exit, I used try and get out in rural territory and go fior long walks. If that is not an option you may want to work with people of your own age and do some reverse witnessing on them. Start spreading the seeds of doubt amongst the young ones in your congo.
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  SHadowolf, been there, done that. I feel for you.

  I left as soon as I turned 18. I wish I would have planned my exit better. I wish I would have found a way, any way, to get to college. Plan carefully!!

  Plan, plan, plan, plan.

  Make and save money. As much as you can.

  Keep the peace.

  Good luck.
• 

  breathing

  i feel for your situation too, it must be real hard to keep going now that you dont believe,

  just try and get as much support for yourself as you can outside the org, so that when you do make a move it will help you deal with it, dont give yourself any more pressure than you need, just try to build up a life for yourself on the outside of it,

  iwas baptized young but didnt wakeup to the fact i didnt believe it till in my early thirties, i wish i could have woken up earlier, but then at least i had lived independantly by the time i woke up, so that helped with my confidence in one way,

  I faded and didnt get disfellowshipped, i moved away from my local area and circuitso that i could be anon and that really helped, i could then still visit family but get away too,
• 

  I quit!

  It is difficult for me to even imagine how hard it must be to be in your situation. I agree with those who have said to plan for your future outside of the Watchtower and seek help in doing this. I' wondering about your parents. Are they they hardcore JW type or are they the liberal type who can accept that you are teenager and are going through a lot of changes and need to figure some things out for yourself? Hopefully you can test the waters and see how they react to a slow retreat from their religion. I wished more adults would realize that belief or nonbelief in something very personal. You can't force someone to believe something and it wrong to try to do so.

  I think it pretty obvious by now that those who attacted you didn't know your age so don't let what they said bother you. When I left I was at and age where I could tell them all to piss off. Even then it was difficult because I would have preferred to part as friends. It would be nice if the Witnesses were understanding people and we could all just shake hands and go off in different directions and remain friends but the Watchtower isn't that kind of club. Don't do anything until you are ready to handle the consequences of your actions. As I'm sure you know it can get pretty nasty.

  Come here and vent when you need to. You'll find a lot of people here who understand what you are going through.
• 

  Open mind

  Here's one way of looking at it: If your parents will support you in getting a college education and only require that you attend two meetings a week and one morning of Field Circus, do the math. 6 hours of your time per week in exchange for room and board and (possibly) tuition & transportation assistance is a huge bargain if you're just looking at the finances.

  The other side of the coin is your sanity, which only you can answer.

  Whatever decisions you make, take your time and look at the big picture.

  All the best,

  om