Tonight it occurred to me that I really don't have any friends. I have people I am acquainted with, people who I really only know slightly. In the past few weeks, I know more about Lady Lee, Brotherdan, Leolaia (even if I can't spell it!) Outlaw, etc, etc. I know who has a sense of humor, who had a terrible marriage, who is hurting, worried, in pain.
I don't know anyone from the hall. If they were married before, I don't know what happened, or what the names of their children are by the first wife. Are they sick? Afraid? Lonely? We only talk about our comments at the meeting, field service experiences, the next assembly. It is very superficial. No one there even knows me. Are these the people I was supposed to count on during the tribulation? Goodness, we never even talk on the phone except to "make arrangements". What was I thinking? How did I convince myself this was even possible? How can a roomful of people believe for a moment that this room of virtual strangers are going to be persons to count on in life and death situations.
This weekend I pointed out to Brotherdan that over fifteen hundred views were made, watching and worrying for him. I have missed meetings for the last six weeks, and no one even called. It is very sad, itsn't it?
