I remember auxilliary pioneering, and I had been out all day, six hours, when I got home my hubby said oh youv'e got six hours to report for today, I said no I can only count three and a half, the other hours were walking to territory, stopping for tea, and then lunch. Hubby replied, why don't you do what the full time and special pioneers do, count your time from the moment you leave your house to the time you get home.
And you could have even have gone to the cinema and visit friends to kill time co's thats what [so and so] told me he does and he is always doing assignments about the benefits of the ministry. LOL he was actually an elder and full time pioneer. Hubby just told me to follow his example, but my conscience always got the better of me. Thats why I always struggled to get my hours in and was exhausted.
Over the years hubby and I had health problems and during those times which where our lowest and darkest, we were hounded to go out on the ministry and attend meetings, that is all they were interested in. We were genuinely ill but were treated as if we were a liability to them. They would ignore us and make us feel as if we were not worthy. Even when we were well we never felt we were doing enough, it was all just a game, Christianity on paper, you are only as good as your last report, no wonder so many probably fake reports.
We know how you felt serein. RosePetal