Welcome
Hi Everyone! My introduction.
by cherrypye 50 Replies latest jw friends
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truthseekeriam
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dawntodaylight
Welcome to JWN!!!! I'm fairly new here too.
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sabastious
Cool, anothe lurker turned poster. Welcome!
-Sab
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Think About It
Hi Cherrypye......welcome to your new status as a poster. It's cool when long time lurkers start posting. Another sad story of a unprepared teenager kicked out of a JW house to fend for themselves, because of cult doctrine. All the while the JW parents going door to door and telling people how much love is in the WTS organization.
Think About It
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skeeter1
Welcome home.
Since exiting the JWs, have you felt like a "stranger in a strange world?" That's how I've felt my whole life outside the Borg. I'm not a JW, but I also feel like a stranger at our customs....even though I look like everyone else. It's like I'm stuck in a Twilight episode. I joke that I should move to a foreign country, where there would be an obvious reason for my not fitting in.
On your parents and family, there may ALWAYS be a rift on spiritual matters. As your family and mother gets elderly, be prepared for them to cling more to the Truth. It gives them hope. And, to turn away from the Truth, they will have to admit they gave up opportunities for a false dream. They may also have to admit some deep emotional trauma that led them to the Truth and deal with that.
I just went through another, of many, rounds with my aging parent on the Truth. They are relentless at recruiting. I am in between a rock and a hard place, trying to keep my own sanity and get some recognition for the fact that I disagree....all the while not trying to break an elderly person's peace of mind in his last days.
All I can say, is that you are on a spiritual journey for yourself. While some people here may adamantly defend their political views, I don't think most in this group will adamantly defend their new religous beliefs, whatever they are, as dogmatically. Having been a JW, believing 100%, and then changing one's mind on a higher creator and his chosen religion . . . it's very hard to again say that anyone knows the "Truth"....much less, force another person to suck it down.
I thank you for joining our discussion and contributing. I come here in spurts, but especially alot when I need some sanity and advice from friends who can understand and help me with my struggles exiting a cult. A place among misfits, I suppose.
Ouch on baptism at 9 and being kicked out at 18, on midnight. Hugs to you.
Skeeter1
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cherrypye
Thanks everyone! It took quite a bit of therapy to get to the point where I realized that this wasn't my fault. The guilt caused major depression and there were times I wanted to go back just to have my family back. Ultimately, being in a kh caused me to feel physically ill, so it's been years since I even tried. In therapy, I learned to grieve the relationship I wanted but could never have with my mother. I love her so much, and being on this site has helped me understand that her mind is no longer her own. She can't love me the way she wants to because she isn't her own person any more. One day, I pray that we can sit in a room and talk without tiptoing around landmines. Until then, every time we spend time with each other, I find myself spending extra time cataloging memories, just in case it's the last time we see each other.
Thank you for your advice. Black sheep, I hope one day I can sit down and start restudying the literature. Talk about fighting fire with fire.
Mamalove, fortunately I was working for a bit before my h.s. graduation. I spent a month or so living with a high-school associate (not friend, associate) , then used my modest savings and the graduation money I had been given and got my own little place -- in a very rough neighborhood, but it was all my own. Thank goodness for my great communication skills -- one thing I can really thank my upbringing for. I was able to talk my way into a job where I supported myself comfortably and started going to college. It took 10 years, but I finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree a few years back. And guess what? My parents were there, crying at my graduation. I cried too, not because I was graduating, but because my parents were there watching me achieve what they said I never could. Contrary to their words, I never ruined my life, never ended up on drugs, pregnant out of wedlock, homeless, etc "like all former JWs do". I was successful, happily married and graduating from the University they told me I could never go to.
I pray all of us with family in this wretched organization will be around when our family finally sees the light and, just like Lazarus being raised from the tomb, "come on out"!
Thanks again for the kind words and best of luck to you all.
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Joshinaz
HELLO CHERRYPYE!
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OnTheWayOut
I have lurked on this site for years, as far back as 2004. I promise to try to participate more, but old habits die hard.
While you certainly are welcome here and welcome to participate more, don't do it as a promise to us. There's plenty of life away from the keyboard. Don't get sucked in unless it's something you need.
Welcome anyway.
The last time I had interaction with the elders was 4 years ago, and that came as I was chased out of a funeral for a family member when I was approached by three elders in an impromptu JC. As soon as they said that some things had come to their attention, I scolded them for being tactless enough to approach me at a funeral, reminded them that I hadn't stepped inside of a KM for nearly nine years, and had also had no contact with JWs other than my immediate family in that time period. I walked away, kissed my family goodbye, and haven't seen anyone other than my parents since.
Congratulations on handling that properly. If they come again, I recommend some legalistic long letter discussing how you were 9 when you were baptized and don't want the decisions of a 9-year-old dictating your interaction with loving family, so an attorney will be your advisor if they stir any BS up about this.
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cherrypye
Hi Skeeter.
I know what you mean about feeling a little alien. I never really took up holidays, and sometimes would celebrate just cause it was a big deal to my friends. Funny you should think about moving to another country. It seems that's exactly what I've done, all the while staying in the US. Most of my friends, including my husband, are not American. They came from non-Christian countries, so all holidays, including Christmas and birthdays are strange to them. Also, they knew nothing about the dubs, proof that clearly the kingdom good news isn't permeating as deeply as some would like us to believe.
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Think About It
I was able to talk my way into a job where I supported myself comfortably and started going to college. It took 10 years, but I finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree a few years back. And guess what? My parents were there, crying at my graduation. I cried too, not because I was graduating, but because my parents were there watching me achieve what they said I never could. Contrary to their words, I never ruined my life, never ended up on drugs, pregnant out of wedlock, homeless, etc "like all former JWs do". I was successful, happily married and graduating from the University they told me I could never go to.
One of the best success stories I've read here of young JW's who were kicked out of the house and made it on their own. Way to go!
Think About It