The other perspective

by silentlambs 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • SUSCARRA
    SUSCARRA

    I'm glad to know that you received loving support in the situation that occurred to you. You are very fortunate, but can you put yourself in the place of the numerous victims who were vilified because they were the VICTIMS.

    Keep your mouth shut or you will be DISFELLOWSHIPPED! They will do anything to keep the cong. clean. That means to exonerate the vilian(s
    and to vilify the victim. This is just not done to molestation or rape victims, but when other crimes are done within the cong.

    We had a brother that worked for us, who embezzled from us also, conspired with other to take over our largest account, horrindous lies were spread around the area not only to the jws but to the company that we worked for. The story is tooooo long to go into. The lies were considered the truth, they refused to even look @ our evidence. They (the elders were looking to get a peice of the action) told me if I turned the checks into the police and had him arrested, that I be DIFELLOWSHIPPED. My husband told me to drop it. He had gone into severe depression (He was the PO @ the time & removed). I still was putting my faith in Jehovah, but not the stupid elders. The new PO got our emergency key to our po box, without our permission and would not get out. I was told to get out and I told him to get out. His stupid reply was, "the cong. mail is coming here and you don't need to have access to it, I'm the PO now and you have to get out. I was furious and told him this was our personal/business po box and he needed to get his own or just have the mail redirected to him. Simple, just fill out the forms that is reqired by the society and it happens, that simple. NOT SO, but the elder body has agreed that we need keep this po box. DUH! I had to exlpain over & over whose po box it was. I even told him to go ask the acc't for the KH if he had a receipt for the po box (I had all of my receipts). That would be the end of this and the few brain cells that this new PO had would have to kick in. I told him to return the key back to the bro. he got it from, since he still would
    have it in case something happened to us. I thoght it was settled, he thought it was settled, too. Because he said that it was a body decission I would autmatically comply. I thought he would had returned the key. Three months later I found out he was still going thru my mail! He would get the mail earlier than me. When I found out I lost it and told Him if he did not return the key & get out I would turn Him over to the police/FBI, etc. GUESS WHAT! You do and you will be DFD. He then did his sweet, oh my sister & brother I simlpy misunderstood. He'd never been a PO before and he had so many new responsibilities that he hoped we'd forgive him. I thus got the reputation for being angry, lack of self-control and not willing to listen to council. They told the family involved with embezzlement/ breaking contract to leave the state. Due to their pride they just couldn't leave without adding more lies. They HAD to leave because their lives were in danger because my husband was carrying guns. Not only did they say it, but the elders were the ones they were helpng with this gossip (to cover their buts). Later, when I was DFD the elder got confidentual records & used it to DF me. They bragged about it as I was leaving the room. I told them that if they had it they got it illegally. They just smiled. The now, newer PO lied to the police and they were furious at me. I had drug Jehovah's name thru the mud. I wished I had gone to the police in the beginning, but I had faith that Jehovah would be the revealer of secrets and answer my prayers. WELL FOLKS HE DID! They DFD me and Jehovah revealed to me thru them that they are a bunch of lying, theiving, backstabbing, wanton, TRUTHLESS, etc....bunch of spineles,spiritualess men. The problem was I really loved and like them. There'e more but I don't want to overwhelm everyone.

    Just remember this folks! OUT OF ALL THINGS BAD, SOMETHING GOOD MUST HAPPEN. I don't like what they did to our family, but the end result is that my husband, myself, my 19 year old son and my 14 year old daughter are out! My husband & children have lost their JW family and that's sad. But, I'm the baby of 9 children & none are JWs and they all want me (US) back. No conditions, no rules, no I told you so. My children now have the chance to meet all their aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. They have problems too, but they don't hide it. the family sticks together and tries to help. That's what it's all about. The saddest part is that I walked away from all that real love to be a JW. Have I repented? YOU BET! Every day I thank God in prayer for being the revealer of secrets and allowing me to have the strenght to endure the persecution these elders put me thru to learn the "REAL TRUTH".

    It' been a mighty rough ride, but we held on for dear life.

    This board has, also, helped me to hold on. Thanks whole bunches.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Frenchy,

    You can see the letter -- March 14, 1997 to all U.S. BOE's -- at Kent's site as follows:

    . http://watchtower.observer.org/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=20010831&Category=SECRETBOOKS&ArtNo=10831005&Ref=AR

    (If the above link doesn't work go to the SecretBooks page and scroll down until you see the link for the letter.)

    outnfree

    It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Bill,

    If you don't mind sounding a bit self-serving, in harmony with Seeker's and Kenny's remarks, you might remind your correspondent that Jehovah often works His will through His people and that you are one of those people. And many who are helping you are His people (whether recognized as such by the Society or not!). Also, that, having survived child abuse him/herself, that s/he must understand the compassion and loving concern behind your efforts AND ERICA'S to prevent any such further abuses of power (the P.O. !!!! -- and abused for SEVEN years?!!!) happening to her.his fellow brothers and sisters.

    Make sure to thank her/him for telling you that his/her case was handled properly (that is, IF the police were notified and the P.O. prosecuted) and ask for the names of the wonderful Bethelites who supported him/her through her/his travails so that you can contact them to lobby them for the needed internal reform. Surely s/he must agree that if local elders elsewhere are not properly protecting the flock that further clarification and explicit instructions as to how to handle abuse are needed from Brooklyn.

    And WERE there two witnesses to the abuse in his/her case?

    Edited to add: And doesn't the writer know s/he is NOT to impute BAD MOTIVES to the 'friends'?

    outnfree

    It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

  • silentlambs
    silentlambs

    excellent comments, i will incorporate them into my answer.

  • lauralisa
    lauralisa

    My immediate response to this person's alleged experience is that he/she must be either related to someone in a position of extremely high visibility and ties to the society, or is in such a position him/herself.

    What is described certainly indicates preferential treatment. In all of the stories I have read or have heard personally, it is extremely unique.

    QUIT FEELING LIKE THE VICTIM AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES
    As to this remark, I can only imagine it coming from a person who has been trained very well to supress, deny, or transfer a typical "normal" emotional response to injustice, violence, and especially abuses of power. Unfortunately, the price one pays for intentionally ignoring their feelings and responses in one area because those particular feelings are intolerable is that they must also become numb in all other ways; I wonder if this person is capable of intimacy, joy, or empathy.

    The calculated and callous disregard for the difficulties endured by thousands of other

    survivors

    can be indicative of someone who goes on to perpetrate others.

    I'd be grateful, Bill, if you post your response to this person on the board.... and my heart goes out to you for being a safe voice.

    Thank you

    lauralisa

  • Frenchy
    Frenchy

    outnfree: Thanks for the link. I re-read the letter. I must have missed something but I don't see where it says that child molesters would be able to serve as MS's or elders unless you are refering to the fact that this person could move into another area where he is not known and then serve there. Is this what you mean or is there something else that I missed?

  • UnDisfellowshipped
    UnDisfellowshipped

    This is a very interesting Thread I've never found before.

    I thought I'd add a Scripture:

    Matthew 18:5: Whoever receives one such little child in My Name receives Me,
    Matthew 18:6: but whoever causes one of these little children who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him that a huge millstone should be hung around his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depths of the sea.

    Matthew 18:10: See that you don't despise one of these little children, for I tell you that in Heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in Heaven.
    Matthew 18:11: For the Son of Man came to save that which was lost.

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