It's Really Just a Social Club

by Eiben Scrood 22 Replies latest jw friends

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  Eiben Scrood

  at least for many....

  I remember looking around at meetings and so many in the audience seemed to be in another world. People would get up and talk at the back shamelessly. Meetings were a good opportunity to make plans with friends. Service? Get a fun car group, preferably in a minivan and get a bunch of return visits lined up, hopefully at opposite ends of the territory, and take a good long break. It really isn't so bad, lots of laughs, very little interaction with the public, perhaps leave a Watchtower at a "good-time Charlie" call in which the householder has established a friendship of sorts with the publisher but obviously couldn't care less about the literature that's been left for the last 10 years.

  I took it so seriously for so long. Studying anything I could get my hands on, researching old publications, analyzing each and every verse of the Bible. I think I was the exception. Most get a cursory outline of beliefs, most of which they could never backup up on their own, and carry on in blissful ignorance. Most are clueless about the real history of the organization, just how completely whacky some of the beliefs are. It's Jehovah this and Jehovah that. Revelation? Daniel? 1914-1919, 1922, 1926, 1938, 1944 - all identified as prophetic years? Most have no clue let alone being able to show something from the Bible proving these dates.

  What holds the vast majority in is the social and family aspect. How many of these people would leave their worldly circle of friends to join at this point in time? Not many. But once you've been in for a while and it's become your world, it's scary to contemplate life outside of it. So they hold on, not really thinking, perhaps having a vague sense that something isn't right, but just shuffle along.

  I think proof of this lies in those that have accepted the overlap generation teaching. It probably wasn't even noticed by half of the mind-numbed attendees.

  Like that governing body member said during the 1980 shake-up at Bethel: avoid deep study of the Bible, get a hobby. Thinkers and studiers are the Watchtower's enemies.
• 

  Ding

  A lot of people don't believe the doctrines of their religion; they stay in it because to them it's like being in the local Rotary or Zonta club.

  Your post reminds me of a quote from a Mormon woman who was in the LDS church for social reasons only.

  She said, "Does anyone really believe Joseph Smith found those silly golden plates?"

  The other side of the coin is what an ex-JW said to me: "If you're going to join a religion for the social aspects, there are a whole lot easier religions to join than Jehovah's Witnesses."

  Not only does the WTS keep you on a treadmill of works and meetings, but it can cost you your family and even your life.

  If you're in it for the social aspects', there are lots of "whatever-path-you-choose-is-fine" religions that have marvelous potlucks.

  They even get together to celebrate the holidays instead of awaiting the imminent annihilation of everyone who participates in such celebrations.
• 

  undercover

  Good thread...

  For the vast majority of JWs my age and younger, it is more social than anything. They've created a social network within the confines of their oppressive state, which is good in itself, but at the same time creates an isolation of the real world around them.

  But even as I say that, I experienced a paradox to that very situation. At the height of my trying to be a zealous JW I remember trying to hold to the values and codes of a righteous JW only to see many others flirt with the world and basically pretend to be a devout JW. While I was friends with many of them, I also tried to not let them influence me into being as complacent and slack as they were. I sensed that merely pretending was not good enough (little did I know then that it was the WT cult think that was working on me).

  But then - I woke up from the cult dream and realized it was all a sham and a scam. I'm gone, faded out, inactive, never to return but those same people that I saw pretending to be zealous JWs are still there, flirting with the "world", putting on a facade of righteousness that is easy to see through. Now they, in their eyes, are more righteous than me. They are zealous and I'm "weak" and "worldly". The irony is thick enough to use a chainsaw on...

  It's hard to put in words, at least elequently, how I think I was able to free myself. For those who just go through the motions, who never really think about it or question it, they're just going along with the program. Having their own social network keeps them from looking beyond the confines of being a JW. As long as they go to meetings, service, list themselves as JW on forms and on Facebook, then that's good enough.

  For me though, even as I went through some years just like them, plodding along with the program, when I finally started reaching out, exerting myself to do what I thought was necessary to be faithful, that's when it started to unravel. It was when I actually took it serious and tried to separate myself from the pretenders that I saw through it. It didn't stand up to the test.

  And that's why so many never wake up. They're not really faithful or zealous. They're just doing what they've been raised to do. And since they have their own social network inside the cult, it keeps them occupied enough to never really think about the real issues and doctrines. They've got their friends, they go out in service together, they chit chat at meetings, make plans for fun at meetings, conventions become weekends to hang out and have fun. The sessions are when you recover from the hangover so you can go out again tonight. I was part of that before I tried to reform to a sincere JW.

  And while the WTS continues to counsel against such things, it creates yet another paradox. They really do need those distractions to keep the dubs occupied. If JWs were to follow the counsel and study guides from the WTS to the Tee, they'd feel much more oppressed and would start to question more. Once that happens it's only a matter of time before they realized they were being scammed and would revolt. We're actually seeing this more and more over the last 20 years, which is a good thing. We see the WTS trying to tighten its grip instead of moderating. Good. Push people to the brink and watch as they give up and leave. Just like us.
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  leavingwt

  This is true of most religions.

  As Steve Hassan says, "If a person is truly happy inside a cult, they're NOT going to leave 99% of the time."
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  Undercover, you may not think that was very eloquent but it was perfectly put, bro!

  I don't think I'd have ever left if I hadn't become a Watchtower conductor. Having to conduct the two Governing Body worship articles in 2009 ("Following the Lamb" and "The Faithful Steward and its Governing Body") was gut-wrenching and helped accellerate my leaving. Had I just been a guy sitting in the audience paying half-assed attention the impact of those articles may have just flowed over me like rain on a duck.

  Same goes for following their recommendation to have Family Worship Night. Obeying that directive was instrumental in getting my family OUT along with me.

  The more you do that's supposedly "right" in the Borg, the deeper you study, the more you find out about them that's wrong. If you are doing it with an open mind and heart, there's a good chance you'll get out sooner or later.
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  THE GLADIATOR

  My father-in-law once told me, 'Even if it's not the truth, it's still a good club to belong to!'

  He no longer talks to me because I refuse to be a hypocrite and it has cost him his daughter. Silly man!
• 

  Eiben Scrood

  undercover - thanks for your trenchant analysis and relating of your experience.

  "It was when I actually took it serious and tried to separate myself from the pretenders that I saw through it. It didn't stand up to the test."

  Exactly! That's the irony of the whole thing. They encourage personal study but for me it mainly just raised questions and doubts. Perhaps they mean mindless personal study equipped with a highlighter and no brain cells.

  I relate to what everyone else said too. I don't know though if it can be said that most religions are that way. Most don't go around demeaning the rest of humanity and preach such viciousness.
• 

  chickpea

  i definitely agree that many stay "active"
  in a variety of religious organizations
  because they do have so many aspects
  of "socialization", not limited to the truly
  amazing number of directly sponsored
  activities!!

  several of the people on the PFLAG
  board i serve with belong to the same
  church, incl the pastor, and they are
  ALWAYS having some kind of event,
  some liturgical, some purely social
  (christmas lutefisk, anyone?)

  a conversation i had with one of the
  board members about the shunning
  aspect of the JWs revealed that MANY
  former members of the parish will still
  come around for events and are always
  embraced and welcomed ... that is how
  the pagans do it.....
• 

  journey-on

  Your post, Eiben, is right on the money.

  The clique of sisters in most congs (I used to be in one) pretends to be all theocratic and spiritually strong. But, the fact of the matter is, they just like to gather in their little coffee clatches and "gossip". Of course, the gossip is cloaked in lots of bible babble to disguise it and to ease their conscience, but nevertheless, it's gossip just the same. (They couldn't give two hoots about real spiritual discussion.)

  And, I know for a fact, that the elder husbands always let a little tidbit of confidential stuff slip to their wives, and all coffee clatch "gossip" starts off with: "Don't say anything, but, did you know that Brother/Sister So-and-So.........."

  Then of course, the conversation turns to plans for the next cruise or vacation spot. They travel in packs like wolves, you know! But....they will find a kingdom hall in the most remote part of civilization while on vacation, and take the "experience" back to the congregation with them and brag about their theocratic adventure. (This, of course, eases their consciences for getting plastered on the cruise ship :-) The pions at the lower end of the spiritual health meter (ha ha) can't ever know this, of course. They might be stumbled.
• 

  watson

  For me though, even as I went through some years just like them, plodding along with the program, when I finally started reaching out, exerting myself to do what I thought was necessary to be faithful, that's when it started to unravel. It was when I actually took it serious and tried to separate myself from the pretenders that I saw through it. It didn't stand up to the test.

  Undercover, this is an important comment. Almost exactly what happened to me, and many, many others, I suspect.