by SweetBabyCheezits 31 Replies latest jw friends
You have every right to revoke you mothers visits I would do the same under those circumstances.
It really sucks what this religion does to families!! One day your mother will wish she didn't take your gesture and respect it, she'll never get the time she threw away by being a stubborn JW instead of a loving grandma
Wow, what a load to put upon your daughter's shoulders. It is so sad how witnesses are so brainwashed and say things like that and they feel so justified. Sorry you have to deal with that. I second supervised visits!
This is a tough one because I understand your love for your mother. I think I would speak to her (if you can) and tell her that unless she respects your wishes regarding the guilt and teachings of the WTS, that the visitation will have to be supervised. You love her, but you also love your daughter, and you have to protect her. If, when your daughter is older, she expresses an interest in understanding what grandma believes, then she can ask questions and have them answered. Until then, you won't allow her to be indoctrinated with fear or guilt.
But you know what's best, SBC, and you know your family. I find it really hard for me to give advice on this topic.
I hope your mother listens and that you can maintain something of a relationship.
Tammy
I think I would speak to her (if you can) and tell her that unless she respects your wishes regarding the guilt and teachings of the WTS, that the visitation will have to be supervised. You love her, but you also love your daughter, and you have to protect her. If, when your daughter is older, she expresses an interest in understanding what grandma believes, then she can ask questions and have them answered. Until then, you won't allow her to be indoctrinated with fear or guilt.
I agree, Tammy. Unfortunately, this is the message we've been preaching to my parents for months and yet here we are. Other than school lunches, they have had zero unsupervised visits with my daughter since the Spring. I'm not sure why we even allowed the lunches. Naivete on my part, I guess. I just figured that, knowing the risks, she'd have more self control. But Mom can't help herself. She has to save her grandchildren from the wrath of their petulant Father... and I don't mean me. (See Iquit's post above. )
WB, JB, and MG.... Absolutely, my first action when I heard what my mom said was to remind my daughter that we don't believe the same things my mother believes. What grandma tells her is the only thing she's ever known and while Grandma is sincere that doesn't make it true. I illustrated it for her several months ago by supposing a child grew up with a box of crayons in which blue was called "red" and red was called "blue". If that child used that box of crayons their entire childhood and no parent, teacher, trusted friend, or authority figure ever told them otherwise, they simply would not know any better. Their labels for the colors would be backwards. I drew a few more parallels and she got a good enough grasp on it that she commented on it recently and explained it back to us out of the blue. I think she'll be fine with a few more reminders that no loving creator, if one exists, would be offended in any way by her attending a birthday party.
Black Sheep, teaching my children critical thinking and the principles of the scientific method are a very high priority to me. I am a firm believer that such training, early and often, would help suppress the spread of religious disease.
Jehovah is in his shrink's office, relating his latest emotional crisis.
JEHOVAH: And so I guess seeing an 8-year-old attend her friend's birthday makes me feel really sad.
PSYCHIATRIST: You know what makes me sad? YOU DO! Maybe we should chug on over to namby-pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence for you, ya jackwagon!!
JEHOVAH: (sobs)
PSYCHIATRIST: Tissue? (throws the box at Jehovah) Crybaby!
Then oddly enough, a loud voice booms forth from heaven saying something about saving a bunch of money on car insurance.
.... teaching my children critical thinking and the principles of the scientific method are a very high priority to me. I am a firm believer that such training, early and often, would help suppress the spread of religious disease.
My thoughts exactly
That's pretty damn funny, Leo.
Parents have a way of getting under our skin and thinking our rules don't really apply to them. If it was a commercial child minder and they disobeyed your wishes you would fire them. Your mum probably thinks she is being so subtle and making your child realise what they are doing is wrong.Your rules are not that important to her as she has a higher calling.
Jehovah is supposedly a happy god, a superlative example of love, justice, wisdom and power. To suggest that a person with these qualities would be unhappy about an 8 year old showing generosity of spirit and helping another child to have a special day is ludicrous. My mum got all upset when we celebrated my daughters birthday and said I had compromised my beliefs. I told her that actually I had stop compromising and was making a stand for my children's happiness thank you very much. Men in the GB in Brooklyn are made to feel special every day, made to feel god like power over everyone every day and yet they don't want anyone to feel special for one day. How selfish is that.
I Quit! and leo, . The only possible good bit is your mom turn Jehovah into such an unbelieveable petty God I think it would be clear for an 8 years old.
Like nugget say, she properly think she is being subtle, only there is no subtle for the indoctrinated...
