Top 10 signs you are a Fundamentalist Christian. Not my top 10 though.

by worldtraveller 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Excellent points!

    Think About It

  • Magwitch
    Magwitch

    Very Good!

    Thank You!

  • Too Opinionated
    Too Opinionated

    Love it! Just curious-what would your list include??

  • Think About It
    Think About It
    Love it! Just curious-what would your list include??

    11. You are willing to personally crucify any low life, degenerate who confesses they are a homosexual.......until it is your Pastor.

    Think About It

  • Hecklerboy
    Hecklerboy

    12. You want the goverment to keep seperate from your church, but have no trouble telling them what to do or receiving their tax breaks.

  • cofty
    cofty

    13. You thank god for every meal he provides for you, absolve him of blame for all the starving children and see no contradiction in this.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    I like this...

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    My only problem with mainstream Christianity or fundamentalists is that their ideals get interwoven into politics.

    Gay marriage and pot legalization are perfect examples of how Christianity permeates Law.

    -Sab

  • designs
    designs

    You guys are alright

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