A few days ago my door bell rang. When i answered it there were two sruffy looking men there both of them in their 60's/70's i would say.
One of them with a huge belly said to me " hello, we are going around the community today gadging peoples views from all nationalites, because we feel thats very important to do in this area as we have Cypriot, Russian and British like yourself..."
I interupted there and said " sorry, who are you?"
" i'm Trevor and this is Bill" he said grinning, "No" i said "I mean where are you from?", "We're from the main town!" said he cheerfully, "No I mean what Organisation are you from?", "oh" said he as if this hadn't occured to him " we're Jehovahs Wittnesses!" And the both of them beamed at me.
"Right" said I " i'm not interested in your religon because you have had to rewrite history just to make it fit with your beliefs", "no we havn't!", "yes you have! you say that Jeruesalm was destroyed in 607", "thats right! yes" said Trevor. " you will not find a single historian to back up that belief of yours. They all say it was 578 and historical evidence backs that up too." I said "Right" said Trevor, but historians do admit that the date is more likey to be nearer to 607 than 578", "no they don't" Said I " that is what you organisation has told you and its a lie, in fact if you chart the dates of the kings and their regins you still do not get 607!". Both of them looked pretty dumb founded at this point.
"Yes but the bible dos have other things to say about the future" Said Trevor getting out a pocket bible. " what bible have you got there?" i asked. "its the new world translation!" he said proudly " i've heard about that bible, its known for being one of the most mis translated bibles there is." I said. Ignoring this he replied "Its the only bible in exsistence that has gods name in it! YOURS DOSN'T!"
"you know what bible i've got do you?" i changelled "yes" he repiled " your physic then are you? You know what bible i've got without me showing you?!" , " well your British and most British people have the Living bible and it dos not have gods name it it!" said he.
"What do you say gods name is then?" i asked, already knowing the answer of course "Jehovah!" he boomed proudly. "Thats interesting i said because your own litriture states that you don't know for certian what gods name is" . "no it dons't!" they both chorused "yes it does!" i said "no it dosn't say that anywhere!" they both replied " Insight on the Scriptures Volume 2" i said. There was a pause and then Trevor said " yes ok it dos say that but thats because YHWH dosn't have any vowels in it so we don't know how it was origanaly pronoced", " Thats right none dos, but thats like saying ""your names Trevor but i'm not sure how its prounced so i'm going to call you Susan" i said
They mulled this one over for a bit and then countered with " but we don't know how Jesus's name was origanly prounced either! Or mary and here in the mediterian there are many people called Jesus and Mary!" , "Exhuse me!" i interupted " why are we talking about Jesus and Mary?", They looked at bit confused and said " Because what we are saying is that we don't know how their names were said origanly either!" , Yes but two wrongs don't make a right do they?" Said I " What we are sure of though is that gods name was used as YHWH" said Trevor, "yes but you don't use YHWH do you?" i said " you use Jehovah". They fell silent at this. Then Trevor said " what do you say gods name is then?", I don't belive in god" said I.
"oh you don't belive in god!" he scoffed as if this confirmed every one of his suspisions about me. "so what is your hope for the future?", "Well i'm going to live my life as well as i can, give something back and hopefully leave the world a better place in my own small way" I said. "And then when your dead thats it!? is it!?" snapped Trevor "yes thats right" i said " So basicaly your hope is to be put 6ft under to rot with the worms!" he sneered "yes and i'm fine with that" i stated
"what hope do you have?" i asked, Swelling his big belly with pride he said " i plan to live forever on a paradise earth!", "that won't ever happen" i said "yes it will! they both chimed. "tell me" i said " what will be the year in four years time?", "the year??", "yes what will be the year in four years time?".... " i don't know!" he said "2014?2015", "exactly 2014!" i said. "so what?" they both replied as if they had no idea what i was getting at " ok 2014 is 100 years from what date in the past?" i asked " I don't know 1914?" said Trevor, "yes i said 100 years since 1914!"... "whats the sigificance of that?" they asked inocently " you know exactly what i'm talking about" i said "no we don't they chimed"... "it will have been 100 years since you people have been saying that the end was going to come soon" i said. " no we didn't", "yes you did!", "no we never said that!", "Millions now living will never die!" I quoted at them, The guy opened him mouth, and then shut it silently again.
"now what i want the both of you to do..." i said "Yessssssss?!!" Huffed Trevor " i want you to make a note of my address, go back to your congregation and make sure that none of you ever call here again!" I said " We will have to know your address then!" i said that was fine and i gave it, " and your name is?", "Highdose", "Mrs Highdose... and your from England", "yes" i said "not that that makes any difference". Trevor wrote this down in a battered Ministry folder. "i must tell you" said he " that by law we are required to call back once a year to make sure that you feel the same way", " no your not!", "yes we are!", "no! your lying!" I said " that is your own organistions rule its not law!". "but what if you move!?" he cried " ok" i said "i'm going to be here for the next two years, write that down" i said and so he did. " I feel so sorry for you guys, youv'e wasted your life in a cult chasing after a false hope" , "We are perfectly happy with our lives!" said Trevor.
" Do you ever go on google earth?" i asked "yes" they replied. "did you know that your founder has his grave on there?" i said. "which founder"? they asked " Russell", "he was one of the founders" they said. "Photos of his grave are on there, and do you know what it looks like?" i asked "No" they said " its a 7ft high pyrmid" i said. They looked baffed and said nothing. "do you know why its a pyrmid?" i said, they shook their heads. "Because Russell was a follower of Pyrimidlogy" , "no that was Berber!" Said Trevor " it was Russell!" i countered. "He basised the JW beliefs in pyrimidolgy, thats why your not allowed to keep his books anymore in your library, just in case you find that out". They had nothing to say to this and just stared at me " Go check it out, its google earth, plain to see. Now i'm a very busy woman and i have to get on, Please don't come back, i mean that in the nicest possible way... but don't ever come back" And with that they left.
