CO visit soon. Haven't been to meetings for a few weeks.

by FifthOfNovember 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  FifthOfNovember

  It's been a few months since I've been out in service and almost a month of no meetings. The CO is visiting soon and I'm already paranoid enough about random stops by elders (although this hasn't happened yet). Should I worry when the CO is here?

  Additional info: I'm unbaptized and people have been asking about me (a relative informs me of this). I have no close relatives in the truth except one but she isn't a die-hard witness so I don't have to worry.

  I've quit mentally, and for a month, physically. I don't have any intentions of returning.

  Should I just go down the ignore and avoid road?

  What should I do about weekends?

  What about a talk (5 minute) I have coming up? Should I just not show up?

  I don't know if I can take this paranoia until I go to college next year. (Then I'll be safe )
• 

  dssynergy

  Ignore and Avoid. Cancel your talk - tell them you are out of town or that you are sick. You are not baptized, so if you do this for a while, you shouldn't have any trouble.
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  tenyearsafter

  Sounds like you don't have much they can hold over your head as a threat...
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  OnTheWayOut

  The C.O. may want to visit you and get you back into the fold. I want to brace you for this as best I can. Here goes:
  
  YOU ARE NOT BAPTIZED AND HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE OR GAIN BY MIXING WITH THE CONGREGATION. You owe no explanations and you don't have to burn any bridges but can if you want to.

  I wouldn't bother to call and cancel the talk. I would answer the call if the elders/C.O. want to call and say "No thanks." You are free to say more, but that's all your choice. They have nothing to hold over your head. Move on away from them. Buy a lottery ticket and openly prepare for the Christmas season, vote, do whatever you like.
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  Broken Promises

  Not sure what your problem is. So many of us baptised born-ins would wish to be in your shoes.

  Ignore them. Move on with your life and be happy.

  The elders only have as much power over you as what you give them.
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  mrsjones5

  YOU ARE NOT BAPTIZED AND HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE OR GAIN BY MIXING WITH THE CONGREGATION. You owe no explanations and you don't have to burn any bridges but can if you want to.

  When I read this topic I thought the same thing. You're not baptised and you don't have any close family involved to lose. The only power the elders/CO have over is what YOU give them. Walk away...quickly and don't look back.
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  GrandmaJones

  No family in the "truth"? Heck, do whatever you want. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. Get on with your life, and HAVE FUN!!!!!
• 

  FifthOfNovember

  Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate it.

  EDIT: I think the reason I think this is so difficult for me is because I've been going to the meetings since elementary school. People in my own congregation sometimes think I'm baptized. For example, once an elder called and asked me to give an experience about the rewards of being baptized (or something like that). You should have heard him when I told him I wasn't haha.

  EDIT 2: Haha, didn't even realize I called it the truth in my first post. Some habits are hard to break.
• 

  nugget

  you are free to do as you wish. They may show renewed interest due to the visit but as you are not baptised there is not the same level of interest or imperative.

  Walk away and don't look back.
• 

  WTWizard

  First, DO NOT GET BAPTIZED! If they ask when you are getting baptized, "Someday" is as good an answer as they deserve. And "someday" never comes.

  As for the talk, I suggest blowing it off. Just don't show up for it. Do not inform them that you will not be there. This will leave them scrambling for a substitute at the last minute, when people are least prepared. Which means there is a better chance that they will totally blow their talk, or blab something that is in the Bible that the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger contradicts. At the very least, it will waste the hounders' time that they could have used for "other matters".

  If you are living at home, and you are in it only because you were born in, you will still have to deal with your parents that could blow you in. Since you are not baptized, they can only announce that you are no longer an "unbaptized publisher", and you would then be a "worldly person that knows something about the truth(??)". The hounders will hound the parents about it, because they are the ones that stand to lose "privileges(??)" if you go to college or drop out of the cancer. However, if you are studying on your own and realize it's not the truth, by not showing up you will have the hounders visiting you (and whoever is trying to drag you into the cancer). You will have wasted that person's time and energy, that could have been used on other things. But there really isn't a whole lot they can do about it.