Hello Everyone, I started posting a month ago and didn't think to introduce myself. I am pleased to be here and have had an interesting time finding out what has been happening in the JW world since my wife and I walked out back in the late 1960's ........ just in time for the first Woodstock!
The following is my story:
Confessions of a Wayward Pioneer:
I was raised a Catholic until I was 12, my father, who was a non believer, passed away at that time. After he died Mom really got into the JW thing and of course I was dragged along.
Let me start by saying 'Wayward' doesn't mean drugs or sex it refers to my state of mind because I thought that 50% of the publications and doctrines was BS. What faith I eventually developed was really based on the affection I had for the people I associated with. It was my community, it was where my family and friends were. So after graduating high school in 1960 I decided to try pioneering for a year as the lesser of the two evils, Bethel being the other. How did pioneering in my home community (Queens N.Y.) work out? Not too well. Unless you like dingy apartment buildings and endless stairs and doors to knock on without end.
The congregation was another problem. We were loaded with the highest quality witnesses, ex and current Bethel brothers. It had taken 8 months before my first public talk was scheduled and any position was out of sight.
After a while I knew that if I was going to stay a Witness I needed some meaningful challenges. So I was all ears when a special pioneer told me about a little congregation in the North part of the state that was in dire need of help, they had lost a special pioneer a year ago and the Presiding Minister was holding everything together by himself. I started thinking that maybe a change of scenery and a small congregation might be a place where I could make a difference. After a weekend visit with the presiding minister, whose name was Frank and a tour of the town and the kingdom hall I decided to make a commitment and relocate there.
Frank was an ex missionary, a widower and had two children. My sense of him was that he was a capable and loving brother. Nothing in the years to follow changed that opinion. One thing about him though ..... I picked up hints that he wasn't a 'Society' fan. I guess he'd seen some stuff. The circuit servants stepped easy around him ...... my kind of guy.
The congregation, which had a vast rural territory, had about 15 people including the children. We met in an old drafty storefront. In the winter we often kept our overcoats on. Besides Frank there were two older brothers who went out in service but held no positions. We had another brother who Frank called a Jehovah's Bystander, he's like a Jehovah's Witness but he doesn't get involved. The rest were sisters and children. Some of the sisters were far more qualified then I was .... but you know how it is.
With in two weeks I was appointed the ministry school servant and the bible study servant (later after the circuit servants visit I was asked to be the assistant presiding minister). I asked Frank if I was really qualified for all of those positions. He looked around as if to say do you see anyone else here. "Sure," he said "you showed up." I think he was kidding ........sort of. Then he asked me if I wanted to handle the snakes as well.
A few weeks later I was volunteered to give a 'few' public talks at the other congregations in the circuit. Frank was seriously in 'Speakers Debt'. He'd had to depend on outside speakers for the public talks and he told me, half in jest, that it had gotten so bad that the congregations had stopped returning his phone calls. I told him I would be happy to help out. It turned out that I would now give my talk 2 to 3 times a month. Well, I had wanted to make a difference. Actually I really felt better about my decision and even service. Don't get me wrong I didn't get all tingly with anticipation to go door to door but it became more tolerable.
And then everything changed. That fall at the circuit assembly I was introduced to my future wife.
Elaine was a little younger then I and simply a beautiful women inside and out. We spent time together that weekend taking long walks around the fairgrounds, and down country roads. Probably missed a talk or two. The fall colors were wonderful and so was Elaine. For me it was love at first sight .......for her it took the sixth or eight sight. Maybe not that long.
What I noticed right off and greatly appreciated was that Elaine was a casual Witness. She was relaxed about her faith. I was relaxed about my faith......perfect. In our conversations I learned that we had a few things in common, both of us had become JWs when our mothers converted. I also learned that her father was a non believer as mine had been. From that point onward we kept company, a year later we were engaged soon after.......married. Double best of all we celebrated our 47th anniversary two weeks ago!
Well that beautiful fall turned into a bad winter overnight. The roads I traveled to reach the other congregations to give my talk were badly plowed, narrow and dangerous. Frank told me to buy sand bags to weight down the rear wheels of my car, carry a shovel, a blanket etc.. He also told me to get back home before dark because the temperatures could and often did drop well below zero and the roads would ice back up. "Skip the Watchtower study if you have to, just make sure you get back before dark..." I genuinely enjoyed giving my talk and getting out of the WT study was an extra bonus.
Hilly and Hoppy,
One of my duties was organizing the twice a week door to door service. But our two older brothers, Hilly and Hoppy, kept ducking me. They went out on their own and they were placing like 300 magazines a month. Frank was concerned that they might be dumping them in the woods or something so he wanted me to check it out.
I had a hard time convincing H and H to let me join them in service, finally I dropped a few hints that I was a pretty laid back brother who didn't always follow WTBTS policy......... which wasn't far from the truth. They finally agreed and off we went with an enormous stack of magazines. We headed to an area a little out of town where they liked to get started. I got the impression that they didn't go door to door. Hoppy's bedroom slippers was one clue. Hoppy's expertise was mailboxes. I was directed to pull up to a roadside mailbox and Hoppy slipped a magazine into it. "Don't worry", Hoppy said "we've got a standing order from these folks". I didn't realize it at the time but both brothers were in very bad health. Hilly had diabetes and Hoppy a weak heart but they were cheerful and enjoyed each others company and their version of 'field work'.
So we proceeded down the road shoving magazines into mail boxes and I came to the conclusion that it was really a very relaxing stress free way to do things and very effective ....... if illegal. About a half hour into this Hilly called for a coffee break.
"I hate to stop now I'm really behind on my time", I said.
"Don't worry about it the clocks still running!" Over coffee I learned that they preferred to get their time 'started' then enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee. This was a revelation to me! I honestly didn't know any witness that counted time like that.
"Does Frank know", I asked. "Frank who," they answered.
The next stop, after we resumed, was the local old age home, I followed Hilly inside and he directed me where to put a stack of the magazines. Then we drove to the local hospital, then a Lutheran assisted living facility which I thought was bold. Hilly and I floated in and out of the buildings never speaking to anyone. It was a very pleasant way to do things. Hilly explained, "I'm not good with words but I'm good at getting the magazines in places so that people can find them. Then it's up to the magazine to provide the words". I found no fault with that logic.
Frank called me later that day and asked what I had learned, "They're pretty amazing." I said. "they have a way of covering the territory that’s unique". " Unique good or unique bad?" Frank asked. "Good enough", I replied, "but Frank, I'd keep the circuit servant away from them when he comes." Frank knew something was a little bit off but he went along.
Not too long after that Brother Hilly's diabetes turned bad and he lost his leg. I visited him in the hospital and his spirits were good. Hoppy was there and he had brought a big stack of Awakes so Hilly could hand them out……. He planed to get into his wheel chair and go bed to bed "there's a lot of turn over in this place," Hilly said. When Hoppy and I walked out together his eyes were moist, "He told me we had to trade names now."
They continued on for a while longer but health issues made it impossible. I was glad they never got hassled for doing what they thought was right.
The Circuit Servants we got were a mixed bag. In those days they had to be at a different congregation each week. Their butts must have always been chapped because there was never a dry spot from all the kissing up they received. The turnover was incredible. None, lasted more then a year except the Greek, who was a lot older, he was my favorite. The first thing he said to me when we went out in service together, it was 8 degrees below zero was, "How the hell do you stand this?' We should both get out of this territory, go to Florida or something, this is nuts, Hey let's get some coffee." I almost said hey lets get some time started first, but thought better of it. Thinking back he had probably already clocked in.
He was really too old to still be doing the circuit servants job. But at this point it was all he knew.
A year or so later he began vomiting blood from an untreated ulcer. He didn't die but health wise he was finished in the circuit work. The last I heard he towed his trailer down to Florida. He didn't have any savings, just a little social security, he'd been banking on Armageddon. I heard he became a special pioneer for the extra money.
Mickey and Wheel Chair John:
I wrote my friend Mickey about my experiences and then out of the blue he wrote back and said he'd like to join me! We had gone to High School together and I had been responsible for his interest in becoming a JW. Like me he pioneered locally for a while but he really wanted to go to Bethel. His parents had basically abandoned him when they moved out of the country and I think he wanted family..... so Bethel was very appealing to him. Realizing it would help to have more experience he decided that a year spent serving where the need was great might do it.
Frank liked him straight off and pretty soon he was the Bible Study Servant and took on a couple of additional duties. Frank asked him if he'd handle the snakes and Mickey said sure, but when did we start handling snakes? Your going to do well at Bethel, Frank said. Mickey was a good brother but as far as door to door work went he was worse then I was. The only back call he had was an empty house, after a fresh snow all you saw were his foot prints. But on the plus side he was a big fan of 'getting the time started' before we took our break.
Mickey had been there for a couple of months when a new Circuit Servant came for his visit. This guy was hard core. He met with the two of us and while my stats were just ok, Mickey's were terrible. The Circuit Servant jumped all over him.
"You’re the Bible Study Servant! BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE BIBLE STUDY OF YOUR OWN! AND YOU ONLY AVERAGE ONE BACK CALL A WEEK.…...how do you explain that?" So the CS told him no bible study ...... no Bible Study Servant, maybe no pioneering either.....forget about Bethel.
A month passed and still no bible study, Finally I suggested he take over my one and only study. "Wheel Chair John, you'd give him to me?" Mickey said. He was acting like this was the best gift he'd ever gotten. "Sure", I replied. John was the only study I had but I didn't want to go to Bethel so.......anything for a buddy.
John had muscular dystrophy and he was physically in bad shape. His speech was garbled and he was down to being able to use one arm with a slight assist from the other.
"If John's ok about it you can take over the study, but listen this isn't like a traditional bible study. It's really about a visit, when I tried to have a bible study with him he pretended to go to sleep or he growled at me (which was one of the ways he articulated his displeasure). The way I see it this should be right up your alley, open and close with a brief prayer (Mickey's prayers were the briefest I'd ever heard, I always called on him when I could), and in between visit with him."
Mickey agreed and on the way over to meet John I told him that John was able to gesture with one hand. I didn't tell him about John's favorite gesture though.
Mickey and John seemed to get along pretty well and Mickey emboldened by his welcome got out his bible and started to give him a witness. And John started to fidget and grumble. After a while John started to growl! It wasn't a growl but sort of like one, Mickey had been reading a scripture and he finally looked up when the growling started. John pointed at Mickey then closed his fist and made an up and down gesture. "What's he doing, is he doing what I think he's doing?" asked a confused Mickey, " Yep, he just called you a jerk off!" Mickey looked at me and I could see it in his eyes ..... this was the bible study that was supposed to save his Bethel career?
Well as things turned out they became friends. I continued to visit John from time to time. And Mickey stopped by almost every day to drop off some food or to take out the garbage ....... so his back call numbers shot way up. And best of all Mickey had a bible study ....... of sorts.
When the Circuit Servant returned he insisted on visiting John to see for himself if he really existed. Mickey said when they got to John's the CS was surprised to meet a real live person. One who rolled up to the door in his wheelchair holding a bible and study book at the ready. During the visit the CS was so moved by John's courage and his eagerness to hear about everlasting life in a perfect new world that he began to tear up, taking his handkerchief out he wiped at his eyes. At that moment John pointed at the CS and…….... Mickey told me later that John almost knocked himself out of the wheel chair making his definitive gesture. By the time the CS got his eyes cleared John was sitting normally, at least for him, with a big lopsided grin on his face. After they left, Mickey dropped the CS off at the Kingdom Hall and before he got out of the car the CS, who was still very moved, shook Mickey's hand and thanked him for his good work. Mickey quickly doubled back to pay John the $10 he promised if the CS could come for a visit.
Wheelchair John died about six months later. "They don't make Bible Studies like that anymore", Mickey said to me at the funeral. Mickey got a nice letter from the CS recommending him for Bethel and he got a great letter from Frank and one from me, we really piled it up high.......... and he was accepted to Bethel where he served with distinction for 5 years ........ it's what he wanted, so good for him.
I'd been happily married now for a year and a half ..............my one year commitment to serve had turned into three going on four. I was fading at that point. My Wife was also fading. We had stopped pioneering and started a business a while back but it was just threading water. I kept up my duties in the congregation which had grown, we'd also moved into a proper KH which I had a hand in finding and remodeling. The only thing that was left was to pull the trigger and get out. Poor choice of words.
An unexpected event while fishing:
One of the best things about serving in that area was an abundance of trout streams. The Jehovah's Bystander (who was a really great guy) taught me how to fly fish which I continue to do till this day. It's a spiritual thing for me like going to church except your standing in water.
This was not your sitting by the side of a river with a bucket of bait, some Slim Jims and a six pack kind of fishing. This was about stalking the trout, wading the icy waters and making a drifting presentation that would entice him to strike. So on this day I knocked off a little earlier and headed out to a remote area I had high hopes for. I entered the river downstream from an old rusted bridge and slowly made my way upstream casting into likely places. The twisting river hid all but the top of the bridge, the problem was, as I quickly found out, no one on the bridge could see me. I was fishing away when all of a sudden I heard a loud bang and something buzzed over my head. Instinct took over and I dropped immediately just before there was a second and third shot in quick succession. I was laying in the water when something silvery floated towards me …….. it was a beer can followed by a few more. Apparently I was in the firing range of an idiot target shooter. I stayed low and crawled to better cover. A few more shots rang out as well as that buzz of a passing bullet, I hated that sound, they were ricochets first hitting the river and then....... zooming past me. I ate some more mud stayed low and waited. I didn't want to draw attention to myself by trying to get his attention and giving him a standing target. After a long while and more beer cans I heard a car start up and risked a glance, the bridge was empty. I was wet, muddy and had come close to being shot.... But it was still a better day then going out in service or attending a meeting.
"That's me in the corner that’s me in the spot light, losing my religion" by R.E.M.
Later on I realized that I hadn't prayed for help when I was in danger. I realized I hadn't prayed because I no longer thought God was into private relationships. Praying at the KH was for everyone, on a personal level I had stopped.
I had started to do a lot of reading. There's a problem, actually two problems, with reading. One is when you get to read really good writing it becomes difficult to read the publications. The problem with WTBTS publications.....is that they're excessively banal, 'devoid of freshness or originality; hackneyed; trite: a sophomoric treatment'. They're so bad that I can't stop with just calling them banal. The other thing about reading is that it's mental exercise. Slowly and surely my perspective started to change.
Now, this was way before the internet of course, before Raymond Franz wrote his book, before David Reed, before deprogramming became prominent. Two books emerged that helped me see a new truth.
The book that had the most influence was Eric Hoffer's 'The True Believer' first published in 1951 (and still available on Amazon). The author was a longshoreman/philosopher who discussed the reasons why true believers joined religions and politically radical groups and how those groups held control over them. He wasn't describing the WTBTS but if the shoe fits..... "An active mass movement rejects the present and centers its interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives its strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present -- with the Health, Wealth, and Lives of its followers." It is filled with a lot of thoughts like that and it helped me to see the Society in a new light. They weren't really the good guys.
The other book was 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich' by William L. Shirer. Its one thing to read about human suffering but focusing on a particular span of time and following the stories of people who were horribly mistreated made it personal. Especially when I considered that god's first chosen people, the Jews and then the JWs joined millions and millions of other innocent people and were needlessly slaughtered by the Nazis in their concentration camps. While this was going on god stood by and did nothing. Reading those accounts destroyed any notion I might have had that a loving merciful god had any special interest in humanity.
The shooting incident taught me a few things as well...... bad stuff can happen quickly. It was time to get on with our lives. We wanted to start a family and I wanted to start a serious career. And neither of us, as it turned out, wanted to bring up children in the JW world. The Blood issue had always bothered me and I knew that I would not sacrifice my wife or my future children for a doctrine that made no sense and my wife felt the same. It turned out that she was as ready as I was to leave, maybe there was a god after all. Better yet there is something wonderful about marrying a casual sister.
Our getting out was conducted with respect for the congregation. We announced that we were leaving so I could go back to school we skipped over the part about leaving the 'truth'.
So when we left I pulled our publishers cards (I was in charge of them) and we did not join another JW congregation nor another church. Fool me once ......fool me twice....... I was done being fooled.
It took us a while to learn how to live in and deal with the real world and not to cling to ancient words meant for ancient people who had no knowledge of the universe, of science, medicine and the importance of ethics based on human coexistence. Our life together with our son and grandchild has been a great life. We love each other unconditionally.
PS My wife and I each had and continue to have a career that we love. We made great new friends and eventually we semi retired. We moved to a wonderful small town of 7,000 with two universities. Our closest friends have advanced degrees or were successful business persons or still farmed their land. It’s a diverse group. When we have quests for dinner the conversation jumps from politics, religion, literature, local events. Everyone gets to express their opinion freely.
Elaine and I also do volunteer work and I serve on the board of a foundation that funds preservation projects.
My son and his family live a mile away. He will never know what he missed by not growing up a Witness.......perfect.
Hello Everyone, I started posting a month ago and didn't think to introduce myself. I am pleased to be here and have had an interesting time finding out what has been happening in the JW world since my wife and I walked out back in the late 1960's ........ just in time for the first Woodstock!
The following is my story:
Confessions of a Wayward Pioneer:
I was raised a Catholic until I was 12, my father, who was a non believer, passed away at that time. After he died Mom really got into the JW thing and of course I was dragged along.
Let me start by saying 'Wayward' doesn't mean drugs or sex it refers to my state of mind because I thought that 50% of the publications and doctrines was BS. What faith I eventually developed was really based on the affection I had for the people I associated with. It was my community, it was where my family and friends were. So after graduating high school in 1960 I decided to try pioneering for a year as the lesser of the two evils, Bethel being the other. How did pioneering in my home community (Queens N.Y.) work out? Not too well. Unless you like dingy apartment buildings and endless stairs and doors to knock on without end.
The congregation was another problem. We were loaded with the highest quality witnesses, ex and current Bethel brothers. It had taken 8 months before my first public talk was scheduled and any position was out of sight.
After a while I knew that if I was going to stay a Witness I needed some meaningful challenges. So I was all ears when a special pioneer told me about a little congregation in the North part of the state that was in dire need of help, they had lost a special pioneer a year ago and the Presiding Minister was holding everything together by himself. I started thinking that maybe a change of scenery and a small congregation might be a place where I could make a difference. After a weekend visit with the presiding minister, whose name was Frank and a tour of the town and the kingdom hall I decided to make a commitment and relocate there.
Frank was an ex missionary, a widower and had two children. My sense of him was that he was a capable and loving brother. Nothing in the years to follow changed that opinion. One thing about him though ..... I picked up hints that he wasn't a 'Society' guy. I guess he'd seen some stuff. The circuit servants stepped easy around him ...... my kind of guy.
The congregation, which had a vast rural territory, had about 15 people including the children. We met in an old drafty storefront. In the winter we often kept our overcoats on. Besides Frank there were two older brothers who went out in service but held no positions. We had another brother who Frank called a Jehovah's Bystander, he's like a Jehovah's Witness but he doesn't get involved. The rest were sisters and children. Some of the sisters were far more qualified then I was .... but you know how it is.
With in two weeks I was appointed the ministry school servant and the bible study servant (later after the circuit servants visit I was asked to be the assistant presiding minister). I asked Frank if I was really qualified for all of those positions. He looked around as if to say do you see anyone else here. "Sure," he said "you showed up." I think he was kidding ........sort of. Then he asked me if I wanted to handle the snakes as well.
A few weeks later I was volunteered to give a 'few' public talks at the other congregations in the circuit. Frank was seriously in 'Speakers Debt'. He'd had to depend on outside speakers for the public talks and he told me, half in jest, that it had gotten so bad that the congregations had stopped returning his phone calls. I told him I would be happy to help out It turned out that I would now give my talk 2 to 3 times a month. Well, I had wanted to make a difference. Actually I really felt better about my decision and even service. Don't get me wrong I didn't get all tingly with anticipation to go door to door but it became more tolerable.
And then everything changed. That fall at the circuit assembly I was introduced to my future wife.
Elaine was a little younger then I and simply a beautiful women inside and out. We spent time together that weekend taking long walks around the fairgrounds, and down country roads. Probably missed a talk or two. The fall colors were wonderful and so was Elaine. For me it was love at first sight .......for her it took the sixth or eight sight. Maybe not that long.
What I noticed right off and greatly appreciated was that Elaine was a casual Witness. She was relaxed about her faith. I was relaxed about my faith......perfect. In our conversations I learned that we had a few things in common, both of us had become JWs when our mothers converted. I also learned that her father was a non believer as mine had been. From that point onward we kept company, a year later we were engaged soon after.......married. Double best of all we celebrated our 47th anniversary two weeks ago!
Well that beautiful fall turned into a bad winter overnight. The roads I traveled to reach the other congregations to give my talk were badly plowed, narrow and dangerous. Frank told me to buy sand bags to weight down the rear wheels of my car, carry a shovel, a blanket etc.. He also told me to get back home before dark because the temperatures could and often did drop well below zero and the roads would ice back up. "Skip the Watchtower study if you have to, just make sure you get back before dark..." I genuinely enjoyed giving my talk and getting out of the WT study was an extra bonus.
Hilly and Hoppy,
One of my duties was organizing the twice a week door to door service. But our two older brothers, Hilly and Hoppy, kept ducking me.
They went out on their own and they were placing like 300 magazines a month. Frank was concerned that they might be dumping them in the woods or something. So he wanted me to check it out.
I had a hard time convincing H and H to let me join them in service, finally I dropped a few hints that I was a pretty laid back brother who didn't always follow WTBTS policy......... which wasn't far from the truth. They finally agreed and off we went with an enormous stack of magazines. We headed to an area a little out of town where they liked to get started. I got the impression that they didn't go door to door. Hoppy's bedroom slippers was one clue. Hoppy's expertise was mailboxes. I was directed to pull up to a roadside mailbox and Hoppy slipped a magazine into it. "Don't worry", Hoppy said "we've got a standing order from these folks". I didn't realize it at the time but both brothers were in very bad health. Hilly had diabetes and Hoppy a weak heart but they were cheerful and enjoyed each others company and their version of 'field work'.
So we proceeded down the road shoving magazines into mail boxes and I came to the conclusion that it was really a very relaxing stress free way to do things and very effective ....... if illegal. About a half hour into this Hilly called for a coffee break.
"I hate to stop now I'm really behind on my time", I said.
"Don't worry about it the clocks still running!" Over coffee I learned that they preferred to get their time 'started' then enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee. This was a revelation to me! I honestly didn't know any witness that counted time like that.
"Does Frank know", I asked. "Frank who," they answered.
The next stop, after we resumed, was the local old age home, I followed Hilly inside and he directed me where to put a stack of the magazines. Then we drove to the local hospital, then a Lutheran assisted living facility which I thought was bold. Hilly and I floated in and out of the buildings never speaking to anyone. It was a very pleasant way to do things. Hilly explained, "I'm not good with words but I'm good at getting the magazines in places so that people can find them. Then it's up to the magazine to provide the words". I found no fault with that logic.
Frank called me later that day and asked what I had learned, "They're pretty amazing." I said. "they have a way of covering the territory that’s unique". " Unique good or unique bad?" Frank asked. "Good enough", I replied, "but Frank, I'd keep the circuit servant away from them when he comes." Frank knew something was a little bit off but he went along.
Not too long after that Brother Hilly's diabetes turned bad and he lost his leg. I visited him in the hospital and his spirits were good. Hoppy was there and he had brought a big stack of Awakes so Hilly could hand them out……. He planed to get into his wheel chair and go bed to bed "there's a lot of turn over in this place," Hilly said. When Hoppy and I walked out together his eyes were moist, "He told me we had to trade names now".
They continued on for a while longer but health issues made it impossible. I was glad they never got hassled for doing what they thought was right.
The Circuit Servants we got were a mixed bag. In those days they had to be at a different congregation each week. Their butts must have always been chapped because there was never a dry spot from all the kissing up they received. The turnover was incredible. None, lasted more then a year except the Greek, who was a lot older, he was my favorite. The first thing he said to me when we went out in service together, it was 8 degrees below zero was, "How the hell do you stand this?' We should both get out of this territory, go to Florida or something, this is nuts, Hey let's get some coffee." I almost said hey lets get some time started first, but thought better of it. Thinking back he had probably already clocked in.
He was really too old to still be doing the circuit servants job. But at this point it was all he knew.
A year or so later he began vomiting blood from an untreated ulcer. He didn't die but health wise he was finished in the circuit work. The last I heard he towed his trailer down to Florida. He didn't have any savings, just a little social security, he'd been banking on Armageddon. I heard he became a special pioneer for the extra money.
Mickey and Wheel Chair John:
I wrote my friend Mickey about my experiences and then out of the blue he wrote back and said he'd like to join me! We had gone to High School together and I had been responsible for his interest in becoming a JW. Like me he pioneered locally for a while but he really wanted to go to Bethel. His parents had basically abandoned him when they moved out of the country and I think he wanted family..... so Bethel was very appealing to him. Realizing it would help to have more experience he decided that a year spent serving where the need was great might do it.
Frank liked him straight off and pretty soon he was the Bible Study Servant and took on a couple of additional duties. Frank asked him if he'd handle the snakes and Mickey said sure, but when did we start handling snakes? Your going to do well at Bethel, Frank said. Mickey was a good brother but as far as door to door work went he was worse then I was. The only back call he had was an empty house, after a fresh snow all you saw were his foot prints. But on the plus side he was a big fan of 'getting the time started' before we took our break.
Mickey had been there for a couple of months when a new Circuit Servant came for his visit. This guy was hard core. He met with the two of us and while my stats were just ok, Mickey's were terrible. The Circuit Servant jumped all over him.
"You’re the Bible Study Servant! BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE BIBLE STUDY OF YOUR OWN! AND YOU ONLY AVERAGE ONE BACK CALL A WEEK.…...how do you explain that?" So the CS told him no bible study ...... no Bible Study Servant, maybe no pioneering either.....forget about Bethel.
A month passed and still no bible study, Finally I suggested he take over my one and only study. "Wheel Chair John, you'd give him to me?" Mickey said. He was acting like this was the best gift he'd ever gotten. "Sure", I replied. John was the only study I had but I didn't want to go to Bethel so.......anything for a buddy.
John had muscular dystrophy and he was physically in bad shape. His speech was garbled and he was down to being able to use one arm with a slight assist from the other.
"If John's ok about it you can take over the study, but listen this isn't like a traditional bible study. It's really about a visit, when I tried to have a bible study with him he pretended to go to sleep or he growled at me (which was one of the ways he articulated his displeasure). The way I see it this should be right up your alley, open and close with a brief prayer (Mickey's prayers were the briefest I'd ever heard, I always called on him when I could), and in between visit with him."
Mickey agreed and on the way over to meet John I told him that John was able to gesture with one hand. I didn't tell him about John's favorite gesture though.
Mickey and John seemed to get along pretty well and Mickey emboldened by his welcome got out his bible and started to give him a witness. And John started to fidget and grumble. After a while John started to growl! It wasn't a growl but sort of like one, Mickey had been reading a scripture and he finally looked up when the growling started. John pointed at Mickey then closed his fist and made an up and down gesture. "What's he doing, is he doing what I think he's doing?" asked a confused Mickey, " Yep, he just called you a jerk off!" Mickey looked at me and I could see it in his eyes ..... this was the bible study that was supposed to save his Bethel career?
Well as things turned out they became friends. I continued to visit John from time to time. And Mickey stopped by almost every day to drop off some food or to take out the garbage ....... so his back call numbers shot way up. And best of all Mickey had a bible study ....... of sorts.
When the Circuit Servant returned he insisted on visiting John to see for himself if he really existed. Mickey said when they got to John's the CS was surprised to meet a real live person. One who rolled up to the door in his wheelchair holding a bible and study book at the ready. During the visit the CS was so moved by John's courage and his eagerness to hear about everlasting life in a perfect new world that he began to tear up, taking his handkerchief out he wiped at his eyes. At that moment John pointed at the CS and…….... Mickey told me later that John almost knocked himself out of the wheel chair making his definitive gesture. By the time the CS got his eyes cleared John was sitting normally, at least for him, with a big lopsided grin on his face. After they left, Mickey dropped the CS off at the Kingdom Hall and before he got out of the car the CS, who was still very moved, shook Mickey's hand and thanked him for his good work. Mickey quickly doubled back to pay John the $10 he promised if the CS could come for a visit.
Wheelchair John died about six months later. "They don't make Bible Studies like that anymore", Mickey said to me at the funeral. Mickey got a nice letter from the CS recommending him for Bethel and he got a great letter from Frank and one from me, we really piled it up high.......... and he was accepted to Bethel where he served with distinction for 5 years ........ it's what he wanted, so good for him.
I'd been happily married now for a year and a half ..............my one year commitment to serve had turned into three going on four. I was fading at that point. My Wife was also fading. We had stopped pioneering and started a business a while back but it was just threading water. I kept up my duties in the congregation which had grown, we'd also moved into a proper KH which I had a hand in finding and remodeling. The only thing that was left was to pull the trigger and get out. Poor choice of words.
An unexpected event while fishing:
One of the best things about serving in that area was an abundance of trout streams. The Jehovah's Bystander (who was a really great guy) taught me how to fly fish which I continue to do till this day. It's a spiritual thing for me like going to church except your standing in water.
This was not your sitting by the side of a river with a bucket of bait, some Slim Jims and a six pack kind of fishing. This was about stalking the trout, wading the icy waters and making a drifting presentation that would entice him to strike. So on this day I knocked off a little earlier and headed out to a remote area I had high hopes for. I entered the river downstream from an old rusted bridge and slowly made my way upstream casting into likely places. The twisting river hid all but the top of the bridge, the problem was, as I quickly found out, no one on the bridge could see me. I was fishing away when all of a sudden I heard a loud bang and something whizzed over my head. Instinct took over and I dropped immediately just before there was a second and third shot in quick succession. I was laying in the water when something silvery floated towards me …….. it was a beer can followed by a few more. Apparently I was in the firing range of an idiot target shooter. I stayed low and crawled to better cover. A few more shots rang out as well as that buzz of a passing bullet, I hated that sound, they were ricochets first hitting the river and then....... zooming past me. I ate some more mud stayed low and waited. I didn't want to draw attention to myself by trying to get his attention and giving him a standing target. After a long while and more beer cans I heard a car start up and risked a glance, the bridge was empty. I was wet, muddy and had come close to being shot.... But it was still a better day then going out in service or attending a meeting.
"That's me in the corner that’s me in the spot light, losing my religion" by R.E.M.
Later on I realized that I hadn't prayed for help when I was in danger. I realized I hadn't prayed because I no longer thought God was into private relationships. Praying at the KH was for everyone, on a personal level I had stopped.
I had started to do a lot of reading. There's a problem, actually two problems, with reading. One is when you get to read really good writing it becomes difficult to read the publications. The problem with WTBTS publications.....is that they're excessively banal, 'devoid of freshness or originality; hackneyed; trite: a sophomoric treatment'. They're so bad that I can't stop with just calling them banal. The other thing about reading is that it's mental exercise. Slowly and surely my perspective started to change.
Now, this was way before the internet of course, before Raymond Franz wrote his book, before David Reed, before deprogramming became prominent. Two books emerged that helped me see a new truth.
The book that had the most influence was Eric Hoffer's 'The True Believer' first published in 1951 (and still available on Amazon). The author was a longshoreman/philosopher who discussed the reasons why true believers joined religions and politically radical groups and how those groups held control over them. He wasn't describing the WTBTS but if the shoe fits..... "An active mass movement rejects the present and centers its interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives its strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present -- with the Health, Wealth, and Lives of its followers." It is filled with a lot of thoughts like that and it helped me to see the Society in a new light. They weren't really the good guys.
The other book was 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich' by William L. Shirer. Its one thing to read about human suffering but focusing on a particular span of time and following the stories of people who were horribly mistreated made it personal. Especially when I considered that god's first chosen people, the Jews and then the JWs joined millions and millions of other innocent people and were needlessly slaughtered by the Nazis in their concentration camps. While this was going on god stood by and did nothing. Reading those accounts destroyed any notion I might have had that a loving merciful god had any special interest in humanity.
The shooting incident taught me a few things as well...... bad stuff can happen quickly. It was time to get on with our lives. We wanted to start a family and I wanted to start a serious career. And neither of us, as it turned out, wanted to bring up children in the JW world. The Blood issue had always bothered me and I knew that I would not sacrifice my wife or my future children for a doctrine that made no sense and my wife felt the same. It turned out that she was as ready as I was to leave, maybe there was a god after all. Better yet there is something wonderful about marrying a casual sister.
Our getting out was conducted with respect for the congregation. We announced that we were leaving so I could go back to school we skipped over the part about leaving the 'truth'.
So when we left I pulled our publishers cards (I was in charge of them) and we did not join another JW congregation nor another church. Fool me once ......fool me twice....... I was done being fooled.
It took us a while to learn how to live in and deal with the real world and not to cling to ancient words meant for ancient people who had no knowledge of the universe, of science, medicine and the importance of ethics based on human coexistence. Our life together with our son and grandchild has been a great life. We love each other unconditionally.
PS My wife and I each had and continue to have a career that we love. We made great new friends and eventually we semi retired. We moved to a wonderful small town of 7,000 with two universities. Our closest friends have advanced degrees or were successful business persons or still farmed their land. It’s a diverse group. When we have quests for dinner the conversation jumps from politics, religion, literature, local events. Everyone gets to express their opinion freely.
Elaine and I also do volunteer work and I serve on the board of a foundation that funds preservation projects.
My son and his family live a mile away. He will never know what he missed by not growing up a Witness.......perfect.
Hello Everyone, I started posting a month ago and didn't think to introduce myself. I am pleased to be here and have had an interesting time finding out what has been happening in the JW world since my wife and I walked out back in the late 1960's ........ just in time for the first Woodstock!
The following is my story:
Confessions of a Wayward Pioneer:
I was raised a Catholic until I was 12, my father, who was a non believer, passed away at that time. After he died Mom really got into the JW thing and of course I was dragged along.
Let me start by saying 'Wayward' doesn't mean drugs or sex it refers to my state of mind because I thought that 50% of the publications and doctrines was BS. What faith I eventually developed was really based on the affection I had for the people I associated with. It was my community, it was where my family and friends were. So after graduating high school in 1960 I decided to try pioneering for a year as the lesser of the two evils, Bethel being the other. How did pioneering in my home community (Queens N.Y.) work out? Not too well. Unless you like dingy apartment buildings and endless stairs and doors to knock on without end.
The congregation was another problem. We were loaded with the highest quality witnesses, ex and current Bethel brothers. It had taken 8 months before my first public talk was scheduled and any position was out of sight.
After a while I knew that if I was going to stay a Witness I needed some meaningful challenges. So I was all ears when a special pioneer told me about a little congregation in the North part of the state that was in dire need of help, they had lost a special pioneer a year ago and the Presiding Minister was holding everything together by himself. I started thinking that maybe a change of scenery and a small congregation might be a place where I could make a difference. After a weekend visit with the presiding minister, whose name was Frank and a tour of the town and the kingdom hall I decided to make a commitment and relocate there.
Frank was an ex missionary, a widower and had two children. My sense of him was that he was a capable and loving brother. Nothing in the years to follow changed that opinion. One thing about him though ..... I picked up hints that he wasn't a 'Society' guy. I guess he'd seen some stuff. The circuit servants stepped easy around him ...... my kind of guy.
The congregation, which had a vast rural territory, had about 15 people including the children. We met in an old drafty storefront. In the winter we often kept our overcoats on. Besides Frank there were two older brothers who went out in service but held no positions. We had another brother who Frank called a Jehovah's Bystander, he's like a Jehovah's Witness but he doesn't get involved. The rest were sisters and children. Some of the sisters were far more qualified then I was .... but you know how it is.
With in two weeks I was appointed the ministry school servant and the bible study servant (later after the circuit servants visit I was asked to be the assistant presiding minister). I asked Frank if I was really qualified for all of those positions. He looked around as if to say do you see anyone else here. "Sure," he said "you showed up." I think he was kidding ........sort of. Then he asked me if I wanted to handle the snakes as well.
A few weeks later I was volunteered to give a 'few' public talks at the other congregations in the circuit. Frank was seriously in 'Speakers Debt'. He'd had to depend on outside speakers for the public talks and he told me, half in jest, that it had gotten so bad that the congregations had stopped returning his phone calls. I told him I would be happy to help out It turned out that I would now give my talk 2 to 3 times a month. Well, I had wanted to make a difference. Actually I really felt better about my decision and even service. Don't get me wrong I didn't get all tingly with anticipation to go door to door but it became more tolerable.
And then everything changed. That fall at the circuit assembly I was introduced to my future wife.
Elaine was a little younger then I and simply a beautiful women inside and out. We spent time together that weekend taking long walks around the fairgrounds, and down country roads. Probably missed a talk or two. The fall colors were wonderful and so was Elaine. For me it was love at first sight .......for her it took the sixth or eight sight. Maybe not that long.
What I noticed right off and greatly appreciated was that Elaine was a casual Witness. She was relaxed about her faith. I was relaxed about my faith......perfect. In our conversations I learned that we had a few things in common, both of us had become JWs when our mothers converted. I also learned that her father was a non believer as mine had been. From that point onward we kept company, a year later we were engaged soon after.......married. Double best of all we celebrated our 47th anniversary two weeks ago!
Well that beautiful fall turned into a bad winter overnight. The roads I traveled to reach the other congregations to give my talk were badly plowed, narrow and dangerous. Frank told me to buy sand bags to weight down the rear wheels of my car, carry a shovel, a blanket etc.. He also told me to get back home before dark because the temperatures could and often did drop well below zero and the roads would ice back up. "Skip the Watchtower study if you have to, just make sure you get back before dark..." I genuinely enjoyed giving my talk and getting out of the WT study was an extra bonus.
Hilly and Hoppy,
One of my duties was organizing the twice a week door to door service. But our two older brothers, Hilly and Hoppy, kept ducking me.
They went out on their own and they were placing like 300 magazines a month. Frank was concerned that they might be dumping them in the woods or something. So he wanted me to check it out.
I had a hard time convincing H and H to let me join them in service, finally I dropped a few hints that I was a pretty laid back brother who didn't always follow WTBTS policy......... which wasn't far from the truth. They finally agreed and off we went with an enormous stack of magazines. We headed to an area a little out of town where they liked to get started. I got the impression that they didn't go door to door. Hoppy's bedroom slippers was one clue. Hoppy's expertise was mailboxes. I was directed to pull up to a roadside mailbox and Hoppy slipped a magazine into it. "Don't worry", Hoppy said "we've got a standing order from these folks". I didn't realize it at the time but both brothers were in very bad health. Hilly had diabetes and Hoppy a weak heart but they were cheerful and enjoyed each others company and their version of 'field work'.
So we proceeded down the road shoving magazines into mail boxes and I came to the conclusion that it was really a very relaxing stress free way to do things and very effective ....... if illegal. About a half hour into this Hilly called for a coffee break.
"I hate to stop now I'm really behind on my time", I said.
"Don't worry about it the clocks still running!" Over coffee I learned that they preferred to get their time 'started' then enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee. This was a revelation to me! I honestly didn't know any witness that counted time like that.
"Does Frank know", I asked. "Frank who," they answered.
The next stop, after we resumed, was the local old age home, I followed Hilly inside and he directed me where to put a stack of the magazines. Then we drove to the local hospital, then a Lutheran assisted living facility which I thought was bold. Hilly and I floated in and out of the buildings never speaking to anyone. It was a very pleasant way to do things. Hilly explained, "I'm not good with words but I'm good at getting the magazines in places so that people can find them. Then it's up to the magazine to provide the words". I found no fault with that logic.
Frank called me later that day and asked what I had learned, "They're pretty amazing." I said. "they have a way of covering the territory that’s unique". " Unique good or unique bad?" Frank asked. "Good enough", I replied, "but Frank, I'd keep the circuit servant away from them when he comes." Frank knew something was a little bit off but he went along.
Not too long after that Brother Hilly's diabetes turned bad and he lost his leg. I visited him in the hospital and his spirits were good. Hoppy was there and he had brought a big stack of Awakes so Hilly could hand them out……. He planed to get into his wheel chair and go bed to bed "there's a lot of turn over in this place," Hilly said. When Hoppy and I walked out together his eyes were moist, "He told me we had to trade names now".
They continued on for a while longer but health issues made it impossible. I was glad they never got hassled for doing what they thought was right.
The Circuit Servants we got were a mixed bag. In those days they had to be at a different congregation each week. Their butts must have always been chapped because there was never a dry spot from all the kissing up they received. The turnover was incredible. None, lasted more then a year except the Greek, who was a lot older, he was my favorite. The first thing he said to me when we went out in service together, it was 8 degrees below zero was, "How the hell do you stand this?' We should both get out of this territory, go to Florida or something, this is nuts, Hey let's get some coffee." I almost said hey lets get some time started first, but thought better of it. Thinking back he had probably already clocked in.
He was really too old to still be doing the circuit servants job. But at this point it was all he knew.
A year or so later he began vomiting blood from an untreated ulcer. He didn't die but health wise he was finished in the circuit work. The last I heard he towed his trailer down to Florida. He didn't have any savings, just a little social security, he'd been banking on Armageddon. I heard he became a special pioneer for the extra money.
Mickey and Wheel Chair John:
I wrote my friend Mickey about my experiences and then out of the blue he wrote back and said he'd like to join me! We had gone to High School together and I had been responsible for his interest in becoming a JW. Like me he pioneered locally for a while but he really wanted to go to Bethel. His parents had basically abandoned him when they moved out of the country and I think he wanted family..... so Bethel was very appealing to him. Realizing it would help to have more experience he decided that a year spent serving where the need was great might do it.
Frank liked him straight off and pretty soon he was the Bible Study Servant and took on a couple of additional duties. Frank asked him if he'd handle the snakes and Mickey said sure, but when did we start handling snakes? Your going to do well at Bethel, Frank said. Mickey was a good brother but as far as door to door work went he was worse then I was. The only back call he had was an empty house, after a fresh snow all you saw were his foot prints. But on the plus side he was a big fan of 'getting the time started' before we took our break.
Mickey had been there for a couple of months when a new Circuit Servant came for his visit. This guy was hard core. He met with the two of us and while my stats were just ok, Mickey's were terrible. The Circuit Servant jumped all over him.
"You’re the Bible Study Servant! BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE BIBLE STUDY OF YOUR OWN! AND YOU ONLY AVERAGE ONE BACK CALL A WEEK.…...how do you explain that?" So the CS told him no bible study ...... no Bible Study Servant, maybe no pioneering either.....forget about Bethel.
A month passed and still no bible study, Finally I suggested he take over my one and only study. "Wheel Chair John, you'd give him to me?" Mickey said. He was acting like this was the best gift he'd ever gotten. "Sure", I replied. John was the only study I had but I didn't want to go to Bethel so.......anything for a buddy.
John had muscular dystrophy and he was physically in bad shape. His speech was garbled and he was down to being able to use one arm with a slight assist from the other.
"If John's ok about it you can take over the study, but listen this isn't like a traditional bible study. It's really about a visit, when I tried to have a bible study with him he pretended to go to sleep or he growled at me (which was one of the ways he articulated his displeasure). The way I see it this should be right up your alley, open and close with a brief prayer (Mickey's prayers were the briefest I'd ever heard, I always called on him when I could), and in between visit with him."
Mickey agreed and on the way over to meet John I told him that John was able to gesture with one hand. I didn't tell him about John's favorite gesture though.
Mickey and John seemed to get along pretty well and Mickey emboldened by his welcome got out his bible and started to give him a witness. And John started to fidget and grumble. After a while John started to growl! It wasn't a growl but sort of like one, Mickey had been reading a scripture and he finally looked up when the growling started. John pointed at Mickey then closed his fist and made an up and down gesture. "What's he doing, is he doing what I think he's doing?" asked a confused Mickey, " Yep, he just called you a jerk off!" Mickey looked at me and I could see it in his eyes ..... this was the bible study that was supposed to save his Bethel career?
Well as things turned out they became friends. I continued to visit John from time to time. And Mickey stopped by almost every day to drop off some food or to take out the garbage ....... so his back call numbers shot way up. And best of all Mickey had a bible study ....... of sorts.
When the Circuit Servant returned he insisted on visiting John to see for himself if he really existed. Mickey said when they got to John's the CS was surprised to meet a real live person. One who rolled up to the door in his wheelchair holding a bible and study book at the ready. During the visit the CS was so moved by John's courage and his eagerness to hear about everlasting life in a perfect new world that he began to tear up, taking his handkerchief out he wiped at his eyes. At that moment John pointed at the CS and…….... Mickey told me later that John almost knocked himself out of the wheel chair making his definitive gesture. By the time the CS got his eyes cleared John was sitting normally, at least for him, with a big lopsided grin on his face. After they left, Mickey dropped the CS off at the Kingdom Hall and before he got out of the car the CS, who was still very moved, shook Mickey's hand and thanked him for his good work. Mickey quickly doubled back to pay John the $10 he promised if the CS could come for a visit.
Wheelchair John died about six months later. "They don't make Bible Studies like that anymore", Mickey said to me at the funeral. Mickey got a nice letter from the CS recommending him for Bethel and he got a great letter from Frank and one from me, we really piled it up high.......... and he was accepted to Bethel where he served with distinction for 5 years ........ it's what he wanted, so good for him.
I'd been happily married now for a year and a half ..............my one year commitment to serve had turned into three going on four. I was fading at that point. My Wife was also fading. We had stopped pioneering and started a business a while back but it was just threading water. I kept up my duties in the congregation which had grown, we'd also moved into a proper KH which I had a hand in finding and remodeling. The only thing that was left was to pull the trigger and get out. Poor choice of words.
An unexpected event while fishing:
One of the best things about serving in that area was an abundance of trout streams. The Jehovah's Bystander (who was a really great guy) taught me how to fly fish which I continue to do till this day. It's a spiritual thing for me like going to church except your standing in water.
This was not your sitting by the side of a river with a bucket of bait, some Slim Jims and a six pack kind of fishing. This was about stalking the trout, wading the icy waters and making a drifting presentation that would entice him to strike. So on this day I knocked off a little earlier and headed out to a remote area I had high hopes for. I entered the river downstream from an old rusted bridge and slowly made my way upstream casting into likely places. The twisting river hid all but the top of the bridge, the problem was, as I quickly found out, no one on the bridge could see me. I was fishing away when all of a sudden I heard a loud bang and something whizzed over my head. Instinct took over and I dropped immediately just before there was a second and third shot in quick succession. I was laying in the water when something silvery floated towards me …….. it was a beer can followed by a few more. Apparently I was in the firing range of an idiot target shooter. I stayed low and crawled to better cover. A few more shots rang out as well as that buzz of a passing bullet, I hated that sound, they were ricochets first hitting the river and then....... zooming past me. I ate some more mud stayed low and waited. I didn't want to draw attention to myself by trying to get his attention and giving him a standing target. After a long while and more beer cans I heard a car start up and risked a glance, the bridge was empty. I was wet, muddy and had come close to being shot.... But it was still a better day then going out in service or attending a meeting.
"That's me in the corner that’s me in the spot light, losing my religion" by R.E.M.
Later on I realized that I hadn't prayed for help when I was in danger. I realized I hadn't prayed because I no longer thought God was into private relationships. Praying at the KH was for everyone, on a personal level I had stopped.
I had started to do a lot of reading. There's a problem, actually two problems, with reading. One is when you get to read really good writing it becomes difficult to read the publications. The problem with WTBTS publications.....is that they're excessively banal, 'devoid of freshness or originality; hackneyed; trite: a sophomoric treatment'. They're so bad that I can't stop with just calling them banal. The other thing about reading is that it's mental exercise. Slowly and surely my perspective started to change.
Now, this was way before the internet of course, before Raymond Franz wrote his book, before David Reed, before deprogramming became prominent. Two books emerged that helped me see a new truth.
The book that had the most influence was Eric Hoffer's 'The True Believer' first published in 1951 (and still available on Amazon). The author was a longshoreman/philosopher who discussed the reasons why true believers joined religions and politically radical groups and how those groups held control over them. He wasn't describing the WTBTS but if the shoe fits..... "An active mass movement rejects the present and centers its interest on the future. It is from this attitude that it derives its strength, for it can proceed recklessly with the present -- with the Health, Wealth, and Lives of its followers." It is filled with a lot of thoughts like that and it helped me to see the Society in a new light. They weren't really the good guys.
The other book was 'The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich' by William L. Shirer. Its one thing to read about human suffering but focusing on a particular span of time and following the stories of people who were horribly mistreated made it personal. Especially when I considered that god's first chosen people, the Jews and then the JWs joined millions and millions of other innocent people and were needlessly slaughtered by the Nazis in their concentration camps. While this was going on god stood by and did nothing. Reading those accounts destroyed any notion I might have had that a loving merciful god had any special interest in humanity.
The shooting incident taught me a few things as well...... bad stuff can happen quickly. It was time to get on with our lives. We wanted to start a family and I wanted to start a serious career. And neither of us, as it turned out, wanted to bring up children in the JW world. The Blood issue had always bothered me and I knew that I would not sacrifice my wife or my future children for a doctrine that made no sense and my wife felt the same. It turned out that she was as ready as I was to leave, maybe there was a god after all. Better yet there is something wonderful about marrying a casual sister.
Our getting out was conducted with respect for the congregation. We announced that we were leaving so I could go back to school we skipped over the part about leaving the 'truth'.
So when we left I pulled our publishers cards (I was in charge of them) and we did not join another JW congregation nor another church. Fool me once ......fool me twice....... I was done being fooled.
It took us a while to learn how to live in and deal with the real world and not to cling to ancient words meant for ancient people who had no knowledge of the universe, of science, medicine and the importance of ethics based on human coexistence. Our life together with our son and grandchild has been a great life. We love each other unconditionally.
PS My wife and I each had and continue to have a career that we love. We made great new friends and eventually we semi retired. We moved to a wonderful small town of 7,000 with two universities. Our closest friends have advanced degrees or were successful business persons or still farmed their land. It’s a diverse group. When we have quests for dinner the conversation jumps from politics, religion, literature, local events. Everyone gets to express their opinion freely.
Elaine and I also do volunteer work and I serve on the board of a foundation that funds preservation projects.
My son and his family live a mile away. He will never know what he missed by not growing up a Witness.......perfect.