by new light 25 Replies latest jw friends
I would be impressed by anyone who has the ability to give up whatever ails them, smoking, drinking to excess, too much sex, whatever.
So, let me know how you get on, I am here to support your efforts as long as they lead to longer life and greater happiness.
Go for it, you can do it !
Sometimes I am the last one in the bar and I just wait for my friends to come back.
Damn!! Wish I would have known.
lol.
Andy
Badco--You're hardcore, man! I went through alcohol and drug education and some AA because of a DUI, and you are absolutely right. You have to want to stop in the first place. And wow...morphine? Meth? I'm glad you picked yourself up out of that mud puddle. About finding a hobby...I agree completely. In fact, mountain climbing is one of my favorite things to do and would be awesome if there were any within a normal drive from here in Durham, NC. I will live near them again someday.
I have had no passion for anything in years, and now, with a little sober time, the old lust for life is returning. The feeling of actually wanting to do something positive and look people in the eye is amazing. I have learned this lesson so many times, been reborn over and over again only to fall back to the drink after a few days. I need to stay engaged this time.
Elder-Schmelder--lol. I noticed Jim Gaffigan is your avatar. One of my favorite comedians. "Oh..you don't eat mayonnaise? Are you addicted to mayonnaise?"
JeffT--Congratulations on your sobriety. Thank you for the good advice and your offer.
Finally-Free--Sounds like we both need some positive influences to combat the old "fukitall" factor. It is a monster.
Wobble---Thank you for your encouraging words and pledge of support. It is good to know people care.
So I am entering day 3 without a drink. Sadly, in my world, this is something of an accomplishment, and I feel better than I have in years. I have been through this time and time again and "return to the vomit" every time within a few days, but this time feels a little different. That old prideful thought that I can "have one or two" is quieter this time. I am an alcoholic, and have known this for many years, but I am really comfortable with that statement this time. It feels good to admit that I am licked. I have tried every which way to be a moderate drinker and I simply cannot do it. One drink, even all by itself with a night of sleep afterward, ALWAYS leads to chronic abuse and soon soul sickness. I can't waste anymore of my life this way.
Thank you to everyone for your support so far.
Share everyday, its a great way to diffuse all the head traffic that goes on with our type of problem and it keeps your mind on your new goals.
Day 3, its all good. When we say we understand we really do, the blackouts, the shakes, the lost days all of it. I consider the past ten years of sobriety the most productive of my life.
If you don't have a mountain near by hike a valley
One of my best friends, fellow AA and xJW, just started an Ecotour business, Diving and Mountain Hiking tours. 2 years ago he was near death and in and out of a coma for a week with alcohol poisioning. He use to have to start each morning with Tequila just to stop shaking. Now he's training and teaching courses in Animal tracking and completed the Mt Whitney climb. I think he's lovin the new life.
Good for your friend! Sounds like he beat one hell of a habit!
I will be hopping on the bicycle later, curious to see how it feels without sweating out the "night before".
Thanks dude.
Admitting you're an alcoholic is big. I drank most of my life, but I always knew I could quit if I "really wanted to". I was right, but I also had to admit I was an alcoholic. I wasn't a one or two drinker. Once I started, I was going to get drunk. I never even liked the taste of alcoholic drinks. It dawned on me one day that I did not like drinking. I didn't like hangovers, I didn't like not being able to move forward in ANYTHING because I was always starting over from scratch in trying to get my life together after a drunk or a drunken period. Don't drink for a week, get drunk, you're starting over again from day one. I'd get depressed, disgusted with myself, and get drunk to avoid dealing with it. It got to where I didn't really get "drunk", I just drank and passed out. It didn't make me feel "good" anymore. It was a "habit" of behavior. Counting the number of days that it had been since I had a drink was no good for me. I had to do it some other way. I started to look at myself as an alcoholic, because it was the truth. I wanted to quit because I didn't want to be an alcoholic. I didn't want to be a drinker because I started taking note of the pain that I had cause in my life and others around me. I didn't want to be "that guy" any longer, after I realized that I WAS "that guy".
So, I quit viewing myself as a drinker. Pretty simple. I WAS a drinker, but not any longer. If you count the days since you last drank, you haven't let go of it. Being an alcoholic is not an issue with me, because I'm not a drinker. Get up in the morning and go on with better things in life. The drinking days sucked, but that's in the past, you don't drink. Pray to the Lord for him to take drinking away from your life. It works. No more fighting that demon, he takes it away from you. This happened to me and I wish you well in becoming a non-drinker.
Thanks for your story Florida Perry, and welcome to the board. I am starting to wonder if my godlessness is/was just a product of being drunk all the time. We shall see.
Your story sounded a lot like my own experience, and I can see the wisdom in not counting days. It seems like a recipe for "rewarding" myself after a good stretch. I like your philosophy of just not being a drinker. I was at that point 2 or 3 quits ago, but convinced myself I was a moderate drinker and messed it all up. Live and learn.
One of the things about addictions and addictive substances is that everyone responds to them differently and that goes for withdrawal and the inner workings of the mind and a persons social network of support.
One of the important studies that came out of the Vietnam War were the studies on Morphine addiction. Out of every ten patients given Morphine two would become seriously addicted and one in a life threatening way which showed the metabolic response to an addictive substance. Eight out of ten could come off of Morphine, given for pain mamagaement, and not have any desire to use the drug further. This is about the percentage in the general population for Alcoholism. Twenty percentage carry the gene for serious addiction and ten percent have a life threatening response to alcohol. That's 30,000,000 Americans. The two JW Overseers who introduced me to serious alcohol at 15 and my BIL all died from alcohol poisioning, hooked up to a medical alcohol drip to prevent convulsions in their final days in the hospital, their livers had all died a week before the rest of them passed on.
For some a pat on the back, a cake shared with others and getting a Chip ain't a bad way to celebrate a new life.
One of the big problems long time drinkers have is that they can't remember life without drinking. When you want to drink, you don't see a hangover and feeling physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally raped after a drunken binge. Nope, you see a happy time with the guys watching the game, walking into Cheers and all the guys screaming, "NORM!" or cooking out, listening to music and having a good time, people laughing and having fun. It's a deception. Reality is much different than the world that is in your head. Why you drink, and drink abusively, you need to come to grips with that. Looking back, I was running from the pain and confusion of being raised a JW. That is why I had to, 30 years later, take a look at what happened to me before I could move on. To have compassion for that young guy who took a lot of wrong turns. To understand why he took them. To understand why I always had such a feeling of guilt, lack of self worth, and sense of impending doom. To REALIZE that JW's were NOT the only people with the truth. In fact, they are not of the truth, at least the WTBTS is not. The truth is that they are a cult, with very effective mind control techniques. They have destroyed a lot of lives, several of those lives in my own family. Stepping back from it after all these years, it is much easier to see who they are. I feel for those still in or just getting out. There are a lot of reasons people might abuse alcohol, but finding out why you do so is important. Some people avoid a problem by drinking, the problem is long gone, but now they're left being an alcoholic. You have to view life as being a non-drinker, and even though you may not be able to see it at first, have faith that your life will improve and get better and better with drinking out of it. God Bless.
...raising hand! I'm an alcoholic, and I really need to stop. It's now become a health issue. :(
