When my jw dies should I go to the service at the hall ? (page 2)

diamondiiz

JMO, treat those the same way they treat(ed) you. If they would not respect you I would do the same to them. Respect is earned and not inherited. I feel for all that have their families in this cult but some family members don't shun their own and these are to be valued as true people and honest to themselves even if they belief what they do but those that are willing to shun their own flesh and blood and side with strangers, well, what is there more to be said about these.

Lozhasleft

Arrange a get together afterwards making it clear that JWs are not welcome...taste of their own medicine.

Loz x

Farkel

diamoniiz,

:JMO, treat those the same way they treat(ed) you. If they would not respect you I would do the same to them.

So, you are saying that you should return evil for evil and not turn the other cheek like Jesus said? His father will do him no more harm after he is dead, you know, so not going would be of no benefit or gain for the dead, but would be a statement for the living who are doing what they must do in order by avoid being shunned. One must wonder what they would really do if a bullshit cult didn't force them to shun or face that very same shunning themselves.

Think about that.

Farkel

Kaethra

I'm of mixed feelings...I've attended at least four jw funerals since I've been "out"...I went because it was really the least I could do for the person I had cared about in life. But it has weighed heavily on me. I recently had a dream about this subject. I was in the house where I was raised - in my old bedroom in fact, and my neighbour, (a jw), was getting re-married next door. For some reason, my husband was in my bedroom with me and we were both watching the bride walk down the "aisle" from my bedroom window. He turned to me and asked, "aren't you going to join them?" I said, "no...I'm only ever allowed to be present at funerals...never anything fun". Then I crawled under my childhood bed and cried. eeee...I still get the shivers when I think of that dream.

diamondiiz

Farkel:

That's what I'm saying. If a member of my family wouldn't care for me while I'm alive I surely wouldn't care if they died as they disowned me thus there was a loss at one point in time and at that point they became dead to me. The cult only has the power you give it.

man in black

I understand where you are coming from, when my Mom died that was the tipping point for me regarding the jw religion.

She was a witness for 30 years and only 4 people sent a card, nobody called, stopped by, or made any type of effort.

I have thought long and hard about your situation, and I have come up with this :

when he dies, go to the hall and treat everyone you see like a normal person, hopefully that reaction will make the witnesses realize that

you have risen above their petty shunning policy. They only have power if you give it to them, by ignoring their crazy beliefs you actually knock them off balance.

Or you could just go along and ignore them, and perpetuate their shunning policy, witnesses will look at you and say to themselves.

" well hairyhegoat must be ashamed, and our ignoring/shunning belief is actually working"!

This sounds like a really personal decision for you, no doubt when it happens you will make the correct one !

nelly136

you arn't obliged to go to the jw service, theres nothing wrong with having your own service/memorial, glass raising or whatever you feel comfortable with.

OnTheWayOut

I tend to agree with Man in Black's comments, but....

...I personally have decided not to go to any Kingdom Hall funeral talks unless it aids a living person in attendance. If a loved one feels better about my presence, then I will go. MIB's comments are kind of the same in reverse- that you may help some "in" to realize that their shunning policy is off-balance. That's okay, I suppose. But I only support that for a close loved one, not really for the general "friends" who are not really friends. I have to really believe that my presence will help someone.

My mother is JW and her husband is not. If she dies and they have a service, I can see what he thinks about it simply by asking. Everyone else JW that knows her- it doesn't matter a hill of beans to me what they think about my presence.

Otherwise, you are free to mourn and gather non-JW mourners in some other way. It can be at the gravesite, at a home, at a restaurant, it can be a different day. It really doesn't have to be connected to the events of the JW's in any way.

BluesBrother

Feel free to go, or not go - that is your choice. The deceased will not know.

But it will not "get back at" the J W's by not going, they will not care either way

will_the_apostate

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHIiQbTizPg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-HRa06KVA4&feature=related

interesting take on a funeral for a familly member in a religion you can't stand. I'm dealing with something similar with my grandfather's failing health and how i am going to deal with the funeral.

When my jw dies should I go to the service at the hall ?

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