Welcome Safireblu64,
You remind me of the struggles my sons have had leaving. I their Mom left first after their middle brother died as a result of auto accident and no blood transfusions. At the time Dak was 15 when he died riding home from a Sunday meeting. My other two sons were 17 & 13 and the death of one of my sons threw us all into turmoil none of us could have even considered. I left right away, over the next 2 years they left too but it was a struggle. Dealing with the pain, the WTS betrayal, finding out all the lies, seeing so called friends turn their backs on us and shun us even family members. As the pain eased we began to see life was so much richer and colorful than we ever dreamed, it was better. Be patient with yourself it gets better as the time stretches out between this life and that life.
Ruth