by badcompany 25 Replies latest jw friends
Please forgive the hint at a "motive", dear BC (peace to you!), but could it be that your dear father is realizing, now that the last "old" GB member (Mr. Barr) has died, that the whole 1914 was a sham and he's just trying to make peace... while figuring out "where" to go, next?
I mean, if he had called last week... or next, I might think differently, but...
But it could just be that he was thinking of... and missing... you, too!
Again, peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
SA
It sounds like your Dad is just realizing in his old age how much he has missed out with you .Maybe he is ready to just be the kind of Dad he has always wanted to be .
I would just appreciate the offer ,and if you need the help take it . This may be a step to reconciliation for your family .
Don't assign ulterior motives. Your dad loves you! My dad allowed me to stay with him for a while too when I was DF'd. We were close. He was still a faithful JW, but we were close. He passed away a 4 years ago this past Monday. I wouldn't trade a minute of the time I was able to spend with him.
I suggest you take him up on his offer. You won't regret it.
An olice branch has been offered, take it.
In the end, love is all we have and you love your father and your family, express that love even if it may not be returned.
Life is far too short to do otherwise.
I too feel that your dad was being genuine. His trigger for the call could be Barr's death or some other JW thing that made him pause and doubt.
I would think more likely that it was a reflection of his own mortality for some reason. While it could be someone else's death or bad health or something in the news, it could also be his own health.
That doesn't mean he found out he is dying, but it is one of many things on a list of reasons to call you. My mother reaches out to my sister all the time in a lame effort to get her into the cult because my sister's health indicates less than a year of life left. Your dad's genuineness was nice in that he avoided recruiting attempts.
I think too think your dad was being loving. It is how we are made as human beings, but the cult changes, us, demands cut our family off but deep inside everyone knows it is wrong. Every since I was a kid I have known of elders who speak to and house their DF'ed kids, yet they would bust anyone else who was below them in rank if they did the same. It is all just a power thing.
I knew of one hard nosed elder who could be a real jerk to the members of the congregation yet his DF'ed son would come over through the back door of his house all the time so no one would see from the street. He would park his car in the back or around the block, all the other elders knew it and looked the other way.
I was a teenager when I found this out and my parents dropped by once and the son was there. The elder was very upset at my parents for catching him as he rode my parents for everything they did wrong.
I think it is sweet at least that he cares as did the elder who was a jerk, at least he did have some heart in him. I was upset as a kid but still thought at least he cared about the son.
LITS
Thanks for the feedback everyone! Although he has been a hardcore elder for many years he has confided in me some things. He had one experience about 15 years ago that he very nearly quit over. He gave away some prime property to a congo to build a KH on. I can't remember the details but he somehow got in trouble over it and nearly got DF'd himself. Imagine that...
Scary,
Read your story. Ours are quit similar. I DA'd formally by letter about 17 years ago. I wish I would have kept it. I was blistering PO'd and so was my wife at the time. We both sat down and wrote the letters together. It was anything but a fade. Oh, and welcome to the board!
It's nice to see that some JWs have natural human feelings for their families. Many do not. My Mom was also a die-hard JW, but never shunned me after I DA'd. Our relationship actually improved. Maybe our mutual dislike for my ex contributed to that. From what she told me, most JWs were surprised that I tolerated the ex as long as I did before finally giving her the heave-ho.
He gave away some prime property to a congo to build a KH on. I can't remember the details but he somehow got in trouble over it and nearly got DF'd himself. Imagine that...
I can believe it. In my own experience giving something away free or cheap always results in problems. The only time I ever got any respect was when I overcharged.
W
I believe I read here on JWN not long ago that there was a talk given recently where the JWs were encouraged to be more friendly toward the worldlies.
Hopefully your Dad is realizing some other issues with the Borg as well. It is a wonderful offer from him.
I know my Dad said he wanted to see his grandkids. He hadn't seen his grandsons in over 8 years and his granddaughter in over 3. They grew up and he missed out on it. I think he has issues with a lot of what he believes... he's just too proud to admit it.
A few years back there was a ragazine article on "Do You Know Your Children?". My Dad pointed to the picture and got all choked up. He chose the Borg over us. I think he regrets some of that.
Heaven said "I believe I read here on JWN not long ago that there was a talk given recently where the JWs were encouraged to be more friendly toward the worldlies. "
Really? Who started that topic here on JWN?
