when will i taste freedom?

Evidently Apostate

for all those that have been able to rescue thier loved ones from this religion the feeling of freedom and security must feel incredible no matter what outside influence attacks you it must be easier to fend off with a family united. i am not one of those situations and i am always dancing around the truth about the truth with my wife. she can turn on the blinders and question me and level blanket statements like" you dont belive in an armageddon" or "your a completely different person than you were a year ago". the painful truth is even though some days i see the real woman someone who sees plainly the oppresive demanding tactics used by the JW's, she usually becomes very agitated and concerned about me and looks at me like she is losing me. if anything i am afraid the opposite is true. why is logic so hard to accept for a JW? i know the cult mentality has a huge hold on someone i have given 20 years to, we have amazing children and because of our tempered and tolerant stance about this religion we have avoided painful situations those who are more strict with thier children have had. i feel sometimes we are headed down a path that will break us apart and it will be all approved in WT land. is there ever a reason to put religious doctrine before a good family? her parents are completely full of themselves, brainwashed card carrying obnoxious zealots with no regard to the sacredness of our marriage and even though they do not know my current views of the society, the paranoya is at a fever pitch and it scares my wife right back to the dark side. i have gained a lot of insight from reading many, many posts on here and have learned what to say and what not to say and nothing seems to just click with her as it did with me. anyway i refuse to give up on her and the kids but i needed to vent and this forum has been a good source of peace for me so thanks for the time.

GrandmaJones

Hold on to your hope, tomorrow is another day.

Butterflyleia85

Aww I feel for you. I was worried at the time when marrying a nonJW that I might give him the run around (back before knowing what I know now)... anyways dealing with my JW family that still talks to me... I truely feel for you and understand when you say "she usually becomes very agitated and concerned about me and looks at me like she is losing me" My family is the same way with me. I feel all we can do is pray that God will wake them up and see what true love is and give them understanding.

MrFreeze

A sad realization I came to about the people in the organization. Essentially, I haven't changed, and they haven't changed. That means they've always been that way. It's sad to think that people that come off as so loving were really two-faced the whole time.

Perry

When I left the Watchtower and began to discover the truth, I tried everything to at first stabilize myself and then to try and rescue my birth family to no avail. They are just as you describe yours to be... like cold concrete. I was the one that got worse for the trying, not them.

Slowly, I began to trust God again. But, not the WT god that usurps the God of the New Testament. Trusting in Jesus was just about the hardest thing I ever did. For some strange reason it was somehow easier to trust in the WT than in him.

Romans 6:7 For he that is dead is freed from sin.

John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing .

Over time I have proved the absolute truthfulness of the statements above. As commander in chief, Jesus supplies weapons to fight with, they just aren't the kinds of weapons that we typically like to use. I have found that they do work though, and are very effective.

nugget

I was in the place your wife is in now at one time. When you realise that your husband is giving up on the organisation there is a degree of panic. In the early stages you don't accept the flaws of the organisation.

Funnily enough it was reading the book the 13th wife about the wife of Brigham Young from the Mormons that made me stop and reevaluate. Sometimes it is easier to see the flaws in another religion more clearly than those in your own. I said to my husband that I couldn't believe how anyone could remain a Mormon once they knew about this. His response was what mad me think our religion was any different.

Your wife also comes from a hard core family so she will not want to loose her relationship with them either.

This is a slow process. Reassure her of your love and regard that how you feel towards her is strong. Talk about your relationship and the values that are important to you both. don't try to dissuade her from her beliefs. The more you push her to change the harder she will resist.

darkuncle29

Very good advice there from nugget. for yourself, don't panic, it will take perseverence. Show love and kindness. Sounds like that is already your nature anyway.

reading the book about the mormons is a good idea, but I thought it was the 19th wife. I saw the LifeTime special one day while house sitting. Good show.

Have you done the prep work for yourself already? reading CoC? releasing the bonds or the other hasan book (sorry, I'm sleepy and can't seem to type capital letters)

keep reviewing Hasan's method, you need it to be second nature. you can do this. When ever you feel exhausted, hopless, fearful, ect.; go to her and just hold her.

WalkTall

EA, I am in the same position as you except that it is my husband that is still the believer. It is an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes, he agrees with some of the comments I make about the WTS or the Bible, and I feel a glimmer of hope. Then he retreats right back into the cult mentality. Basically, even though he sees the faults of the organization, he doesn't see it's harm. He still thinks that, all in all, it's a beneficial way to live. And I understand where he is coming from. He has never had a close relative/friend get df'd nor been faced with anything involving the blood issue. And having never read, as I have, the tragic stories of families ripped apart by this religion, he cannot see it from the other side. So, to him, what's the harm in remaining a JW? There are days I deal with it all just fine, then there are days when I wonder how the hell this has happened to me. How did I willingly walk into something so dangerous, and worse yet, raise my children in it? Today is one of the bad days, filled with regret and sadness.

I am so thankful for this board. It helps to know that I am not alone.

Evidently Apostate

i have read CoC and i am going to purchase hassans books. i am trying to be concious of the mind control and fighting my own reasonings at times so his book should help. i am alone for christmas this year, everyone went to FL to visit her family too crowded and way to much fighting(from the happiest people no less) for me. i mentioned this to someone i work with and they couldnt believe i was alone this week. i havent celebrated since my youth and as a JW it wouldnt mean anything but the kids are missing out and even the gift day we had recently is a joke when they cant buy gifts for friends at school, have a tree, etc.i would like them to enjoy the holidays for what they really are before they are grown. coping with a religion that could separate a family is stressfull and i also have good and bad moments Walk Tall, sharing your feelings means something here as a JW can shut off compassion and concern instantly. sometimes my conviction needs reassuring.

Thanks, GJ,Nugget,Perry, Butterfly and the rest. Dark uncle thanks

Hoffnung

It is indeed a long and slow process, but as long you can talk about it, you are actually making progress. It took me more than a year, but 2 weeks ago my wife asked me if there was a book or website in her mother tongue that explained what to believe from the bible without he JWs bias, she was looking on the net, but was put off by all the negativity from most websites in her language. I ordered CoC, and guess what, she started reading it yesterday. Hallelujah! People hold their faith as part of their identity, and that is even more so for a Witness. Protecting the Witness faith feels like protecting themselves. It is only slowly, by pointing out their mistakes from the past every now and then, you can eat that connection away. You 1st have to remove this absolute confidence in the "org", then she will come herself to you with: What now? Believe me, it works. Books like the Divine Plan of the ages, the finished mystery,and my favourite Millions now living will never die, will help you to show her the truth about the org. Every witness knows the color of new light, but almost none knows the color of old light. By making this new DVD about the beginning of the org, they gave me a superb excuse to study some older publications and show my "discoveries" to my wife. Show her carefully researched some mistakes in the NWT by using the Kingdom Interlinear, look for verses that contain Jehovah in the Greek scriptures but are not quotes from the Hebrew scriptures and so on. Seize opportunities, but don't start too often discussions yourself.

when will i taste freedom?

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