My parents tried the gift giving thing through out the year. When we were small they came up with a once a month thing where we got to go to Toys-R-Us or Gemco to pick out a toy. Didn't last long. By the time we were teenagers it was replaced by an allowance. Also by that time my parents (especially my mother) were rather neglectful of us in regards to our personal needs (clothes). When I was in high school I often went to school in clothes that were too small or had holes in them (don't even ask what condition my shoes were in).
Did your parents make you tell people (at xmas time) that you got gifts throughout the year
by myusername 42 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
smiddy
Hey!! we told our kids that....,and my wife who is a generous soul made sure they did get presents throughout the year
smiddy
-
myusername
Elgiard-your post made me think of something. I think some people are attracted to this religon because it's a great way to hide neglect and abuse. They have all these ready made excuses for isolating their family and other behaviors. The types that are attracted to this religon for that reason are narcissists. It's not surprising when these kinds of parents leave the religon when they're children are grown. The religon doesn't serve as many purposes for them anymore. Although, some will stay indefinitely because perhaps just the idea of being special enough to survive Armageddon will make a narcissist happy or other reasons they may stay.
-
cult classic
I can honestly say that me and my sibs actually did get gifts all the time. Same with most of my friends in the congo and circuit. However, it's still a stupid playoff to deflect from how jacked up it is to be a witness kid. It's just plain embarrassing having to always explain why you don't participate in normal activities.
edited: Well I really shouldn't say "gifts". But we pretty got whatever we asked for.
-
AK - Jeff
I was in on the conspiracy of lies about this. First as a giftless child, then as a parent who did not give many gifts [though I did not ever tell my daughter to lie about this, I assumed she would lie as I did to cover the fact that we did not celebrate anything, ever].
That's not to say we never gave gifts to her - we did - but I don't recall ever wrapping presents and gifts and having a celebration of any sort.
In a sense - though not in the sense they intended - all good parents give many gifts to their children as they provide for them through life. We did that of course.
Another thing that comes into play - or it did for me - is that as someone raised without ever getting presents, it was not part of my personality to 'give' gifts either as a parent.
That said: I didn't feel deprived in that way at all. It was just the culture I grew up with. When we left, and now as we raise our grandkids, we went overboard and bought out the stores for a few years. We are starting to find a healthy balance these days I hope.
Jeff
-
nelly136
yes, but it wasnt lying, i got assembly presents, i got small ones for assemblys at places like camber, and big presents for twickenham etc, i was allowed to choose whether i wanted to pool smaller assemblys to get something bigger.
i figured i was ahead on the presents stakes because we usually went to more assemblys than i'd have had getting christmas and birthday. and if i had to suffer an extra assembly because we'd gone visiting or whatever reason that was another present or credit towards a bigger one depending on the assembly.
-
nelly136
if i had to break down the assemblys into gift worth.
short ones (weekend)... goods 50ish quid
long ones (4days)... goods 100ish
extra long (week)...goods 100+ with a bit of negotiating.
-
Heartofaboy
That's funny Nelly putting a monetary value on the length of assemblies.
Goodness weren't those assemblies BORING???
-
nugget
When our family gave up on Christmas when we were kids then there were no presents except when you got baptised, engaged or married. We were bought things if we needed them and if someone else in the family who had a louder voice hadn't asked but generally there was a lack of wrapped gifts.
I made sure that my children had wrapped presents throughout the year and that we celebrated their achievements and we tried to go to the sales after Christmas so they would have something new before they went back to school. However it is nothing like as much fun as this past year has been and the challenge of starting new family traditions. My daughter asked what was the plan for Christmas day so she knew what to do. I felt sad I remember my early Christmases and the way the day had a natural rhythm. My daughter hates not knowing and fears getting it wrong bless her. It is going to be AWESOME.
-
cantleave
Yes nugget, I'm looking to creating a new family tradition - thanks for getting so much beer in!!!