Who makes the moves???

Christina77

I am just curious as to who initiates sex in your relationships... is it the male or the female most of the time... or is it about an equal amount??? And is it a different view between those involved??? So how do each individuals do it, to show the other that they want it??? for example: I kiss my boyfriends neck while he is sitting in a chair reading his e-mail... I kiss him just because I want to kiss him, he thinks I am initiating sex... I think whoever starts ripping the other ones clothes off or who drags who into the bedroom is initiating... big difference... I just want to see others views on the subject... the battle of the bedroom...

I actually got into a fight with him on this subject since he doesn't think I initiate enough... needless to say we do it every single time we see eachother, and are both in tune with eachothers feelings to get it on!!!

Skeptic

This post is from Windrider and I.

We discussed it and decided that we initiate sex about equally; if anything, we both agree that Skeptic initiates slightly more often.

We are both very affectionate and yet neither is pressured in any way to go all the way; we stop where we want. Very often, we tease each other all day, and then at night when all children are asleep, we eagerly tear each other's clothes off and finally give into all the pent up passion. Ahhhh, sweet release...

Sincerely, Skeptic and Windrider

COMF

I've seen it all ways. Sometimes if it was ever going to happen, it had to be me that started it. Some ladies were fiery-hot and always hot for it. I recall one who was prone to pulling off the road onto quiet side-roads when she was driving, for a quick romp in the back seat. We once made love on the fender of the car in the middle of a magnificent lightning display, and then danced naked together to the music of the car radio as sparse, fat raindrops began to splatter around us.

Best of all is when nobody starts it; it just happens all on its own. Or maybe it's that you can't tell where and who started it; it flows naturally from everyday loving behavior to a logical conclusion.

COMF

Christina77

Yes COMF... it does happen a lot on its own... yet because he is the one that gets up to direct me into the bedroom... I may not be ready at that point to jump into bed, that I want to enjoy what we are doing more on the couch.... and then move to the bedroom... he gets annoyed... and told me that I stuck my foot in my mouth and don't initiate sex enought that he wants to feel wanted more by me initiating... He is getting sex, so I don't know what he is complaining about... if he wasn't then he would have something to complain about... thanks

COMF

Christina, get him a good instruction manual about foreplay. Giggle a little bit and tell him you want to try some of the stuff in it. Direct his attention, as nonconfrontationally as you can, to the part that explains that a good lover prepares his partner first, and continues to prepare her until she is ready.

Hopefully he can handle the help without going defensive over a bruised ego.

COMF

Christina77

hehehe... good idea... but foreplay isn't the problem... he makes sure that I am ready that way... but he just rushes getting in there... maybe I just want to stay on the couch for a little while and enjoy his company a little while longer before getting naked... yet he also thinks that I should get naked as soon as I walk in the door... no way!!! I want to talk first and then get comfy, and think about sex after spending some quality time together first... otherwise we are very sexually compatible... he does a very good job at pleasuring me... and we have not had a problem until now... we have been having sex for almost 2 years and all of a sudden he brings this up... I could never imagine that there was any problem... who cares who initiates as long as the other reciprocates and it happens... right?

Skeptic

who cares who initiates as long as the other reciprocates and it happens... right?

How would you feel if he never said you were pretty, never commented how nice you looked in a new dress, never said he loved you? He can say, "Oh, you know I do, do I have to say it?" It just isn't the same, and a part of you wonders if he really does love you.

Just as verbal expressions of love are needed by a woman to feel loved, sexual expressions are needed by a man to feel loved by his woman. If you never or rarely initiate sex, how does he really know you find him desirable? Especially after two years! Oh, he can talk you into it, you have sexual needs, but do you really want him? You can say, "Oh, he knows I do, do I have to say it [by initiating sex]?" It just isn't the same, and a part of him wonders if you really do love and desire him.

It is the most flattering thing when a man's mate finds him so desirable that she cannot wait for him to initiate, but becomes the sexual aggressor and must have him now rather than later.

Richard

butalbee

You know what he would love--any man would love--come to his door some time dressed in nothing but stockings and a long coat. That will really get his blood pumping.

ianao

You all are fairing better than me...

ianao: Please?

wife: no!

ianao: Pretty Please!?

wife: no!

ianao: Pretty Please, with a scoop of ice-cream and a cherry on top!?

wife: no, now quit bugging me!

ianao: Two scoops and peanuts too!?!?

wife: well... no, forget it. You need to shave and you smell bad.

ianao: Oh, alright. I give up. How about tomorrow?

wife: Nah. Ask me next month.

butalbee

SYN--An apron and nothing else? Sounds kinky!

Who makes the moves???

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