by Newborn 22 Replies latest jw friends
Hej Newborn,
Someone wise said "this too will pass", and hard as it seems at the moment you will come through this time. Remember to learn to love yourself before you jump into finding someone to love you, it sounds odd but the hardest love to accept is to love oneself. Best wishes for this New Year.
Chicken little
Give yourself time. You can also ask Christ for help and peace. But if you're not able to do that right now, don't worry. Gladiator gave good advice, too. Don't fight your feelings; accept them... they are the start of growing into a new you. Don't panic because of them, either. You won't always feel this lost, and you will move past them.
Love and peace to you, in this New Year and the ones that come after,
Tammy
Thanks everyone. As always, it means a lot.
I've a lot of anxiety right now...I know it will pass but Chalam, I hope it won't take 20years!
Newborn
What The Gladiator said.
Anxiety is about the future - is the future here NOW? Regret is about the past - is the past here NOW? Aren't both future and past ideas/thoughts in the mind? Right now, in the clear vision of what's around you, without referencing ideas or labels about anything, where are those thoughts? And isn't it always now? Right now you are whole, complete, and not separate from anything. It's only via your thinking that it seems otherwise. Get reacquainted with now, breathe, relax, let go, and just be - soak in the hot tub of now and you will feel better.
Happy New Year Newborn.
Maybe it will help to know you are not alone in your feelings. That others have been there before,and there are those,like me, who are feeling exactly like you are feeling at this moment.
Everyone who posted gave you great advice. It is hard to follow when you are down. We have to take one day at a time. And I have learned not to depend on others for happiness.
Maybe plan some fun things during the week,something to look forward to doing,even if it is just seeing a movie.
I know being born into the religion,all my relationships were other Witnesses,and it's hard starting new. And when another romantic relationship ends that can be hard too. But, keep in mind,tomorrow brings a new day, and hopefully you'll feel better about everything real soon.
The whole WT religion is about CONDITIONAL love and acceptance.
The WT religion is an endless treadmill of works, guilt trips, and fear of what will happen if at any point you don't measure up.
Read through the New Testament and see how different biblical Christianity is from this cultic legalism.
On this board, you have friends that care about you no matter what you have or haven't done.
You have experienced several dramatic experiences recently and these will have an impact on your mental well being. In the organisation our worth is evaluated by how much we conform to the requirements of the organisation and our relationships with others can be based on the same criteria. If we are in good standing we are worthy of friendship and love. If we are not in good standing we are worthless and unlovable. It is very hard when we walk away from the madness to get our head around the idea that someone can love us unconditionally for who we are rather than what we do.
Every day people walk away from JWs and ultimately find happiness but it is a long process. Ultimately you have to learn to love yourself first. By leaving a high control group you have shown determination and strength of character. Qualities to be prized and a great start. Give yourself time to heal and opportunities will come your way.
I've a lot of anxiety right now...I know it will pass but Chalam, I hope it won't take 20years!
I was subborn! I whole heartedly advise against that these days :)
Blessings in Christ,
Stephen
Freedom from religion is a process, as some have alluded to. Having someone you love to escape with makes it an easy process, doing it alone makes it difficult. It is as simple as that. You're going it alone. But you've got some support in here. Behind all the faceless text and avatars there are real people who care enough to reach out to you to lend a hand, and you have unlimited access to information right at your fingertips. Explore. Keep your mind open, Newborn, take the opportunity you have presented yourself to learn about all those things that were forbidden you in your previous life. The more you learn and the more you come to genuinely understand, the more that hollowness you feel will be filled up until it is completely gone. It will be gone. Then you will understand what it means to be emancipated.
Lion Cask makes a good point about it being a process. It takes more than just time. Without actively working toward mental and emotional freedom from the oppression you were under as a JW, it will just linger.
It is really important to have social connections, even if they are just virtual (like here or on Facebook). For many (most?) counseling is very helpful. I've only had a couple sessions with a counselor and even though the counselor/therapist doesn't SEEM to do anything, just talking to someone about the Borg experience in person is a BIG help.
Can't wait for life to happen. Gotta get busy living.
Best of luck to you in 2011.
