by InterestedOne 59 Replies latest jw friends
JWs steal your life a millimeter and one second at a time.
Start to say NO. People who are too polite or nice to do that are easy prey for them.
If you dont , I predict that you will be baptised by next year, especially if there is even a glimmer of romantic hope with your friend.
HB
I read a "Kingdom Ministry" (In house paper) recently that encouraged the "befriending" of unbelieving husbands and family (by elders and experienced Witnesses) solely with a view to drawing them in . The idea seems to be to let them see that we they are normal and do normal pastimes. This is not real friendship , it is a part of their ministry, he may even count his time as if he were out door knocking.
I would second all the warnings that have been said. The arguments can appear very persuasive if seen from their point of view. If you talk with them, it is essential to get them off their track and take control with meaningful questions that can only come from knowledge of their organization
The decision is yours alone , but take care and check in here frequently to tell us about it.....
Her priority is and will always be the cult. If you convert just to be with her, you will have the elders dictating e-v-e-r-y detail of your life, that includes your bedroom. There will be no marriage as you expect, only asimilation into the Borg.
Cut your losses and run. I mean: RUN!
Run!
I wish it were that simple. We have a lot in common as far as secular/artistic life goes.
How simple do you think is a child custody case vs. a wife backed by her cult? Research it. I mean it.
If she was already expressing doubts or having moments of insight, there may be cautious hope. But she seems to be 100% Borg. Your resistance will be futile.
I read your situation. Females were allowed to witness to men in my day. Nothing can douse romance like the WTBTS. Your heading sounded like the elder was suggesting some untoward and unwanted sexual activity with you. It would not be a first, either.
I hope your friendship survives. She spent long hours with you on the phone. Did she discuss anything personal? Wanting to be loved is the Catch-22 of Witness doctrine.
There is a severe shortage of brothers, so if she had the slightest remote bit of interest in you being a potential brother/future boyfriend, she would have been ringing you & chatting with you all about your progress.. As she isnt that way interested, then she has absolutely no romatic interest in you & therefore you are WASTING your time
... RUN...
I wasnt a born in. I started studying at 17 years old. After 6 months I was rapidly included in all the congregational get to gethers and then went out with groups of JW teens my age for 7 months. I practically immediately became romatically attached to a brother for 7 months & only when I'd got baptised could we officially state we were seeing each other. No sooner had we started seeing each other (whilst chaperoned) we were engaged within 12 weeks, & married 1 year later !!!
Believe me when I say you will NEVER have any time alone with this Sister until the day you marry !!!! This no life for any couple...
The only happy ending I have to add to this is that now after 20 years me & my hubby woke up to the JW clap trap & escaped JWdom together with our 4 beautiful children. Dont get yourself sucked in. Please hear us & run. You will look back one day and will see that you had a lucky escape....
There is a severe shortage of brothers, so if she had the slightest remote bit of interest in you being a potential brother/future boyfriend, she would have been ringing you & chatting with you all about your progress.. As she isnt that way interested, then she has absolutely no romatic interest in you & therefore you are WASTING your time
... RUN...
I wasnt a born in. I started studying at 17 years old. After 6 months I was rapidly included in all the congregational get to gethers and then went out with groups of JW teens my age for 7 months. I practically immediately became romatically attached to a brother for 7 months & only when I'd got baptised could we officially state we were seeing each other. No sooner had we started seeing each other (whilst chaperoned) we were engaged within 12 weeks, & married 1 year later !!!
Believe me when I say you will NEVER have any time alone with this Sister until the day you marry !!!! This no life for any couple...
The only happy ending I have to add to this is that now after 20 years me & my hubby woke up to the JW clap trap & escaped JWdom together with our 4 beautiful children. Dont get yourself sucked in. Please hear us & run. You will look back one day and will see that you had a lucky escape....
Wow, this movie sounds right up your alley.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/204068/1/Worlds-Apart-Movie-now-on-Youtube
Frankly, I am married to a witness and so far it is working out. I would not recommend it to anyone, though, because it is not easy. I guess it depends on what you want out of life and what she wants too. Personally, I would not trade my wife and children in for anything now but if I had it to do over, I would think twice about it.
Do yourself a favor and cut your ties before it goes too far.
Elder wants to do "other activities" with me
That's a DFing offense, isn't it?
*** w06 3/15 p. 23 par. 9 “Each One Will Carry His Own Load” ***
This elder may not be content in that...
Amicus wrote:
Worst case scenario is you actually read and learn. They throw the "Bible" at you? Read it...in context. Your romantic interest either supports you or retreats, best get to know her now. I submit any half serious novice that is willing to read can see through their nonsense.
That's how I see it. I don't intend to -become- anything. I'm simply attempting to -understand- this cult to see what she is wrapped up in. At the same time, I can feel how powerful their mind control tactics are. It's nasty, and I have to admit, if I'm not careful I find myself being manipulated. That's why I've been asking questions and reading up.
I would not join and live a lie just to be with her. That would be terrible. Still, by looking at this cult, I am learning something about her indirectly. It's annoying that we can't just get to know each other one-on-one, but I'll take what I can get at this point. Once I know enough to explain clearly why I don't accept it, at least she'll know that I cared enough to look at something that is important to her.
@Band on the Run - I wasn't suggesting anything sexual regarding the Elder but was wondering what he might be up to from a social manipulation standpoint. As for my female friend, yes she did share some personal things like how she was going through a rough time and a JW was the first person who really listened to her. She didn't know the Bible and was fascinated with their supposed "educational work" to "help" people understand the Bible. She is convinced that studying with them is equivalent to studying the Bible. To me, they lack credibility, but to her they are highly trustworthy. They've fooled her with the "new light" thing. She's been in this since 2003 and is highly indoctinated. I see all the telltale signs like rationalizing, etc. They really did a job on her & it makes me want to cry. I'm going to stick it out a little longer and see if I can explain to her intelligently my reason for walking away.
