LOL Sorry.....DH = Dear Hubby DW = Dear Wife DD = Dear Daughter DS = Dear Son.......something I have learned on other message boards.
Zid, Thanks for the giggle! Yes, it did put a smile on my face and a giggle in my heart! LOL Too true though.......
Mouthy, never thought of it that way. I guess after being told that He examined my heart and found me unfit as a witness, one does not think of it any other way.
To be df'd at 39 years old was extremely difficult as I am a born in. My DH and I finally found our place in the cong. after years of floating from cong. to cong. trying to find a group that we felt we belonged in. 3 years prior I had aux. pioneered for 5 months straight. We had most of our friends and family in that cong. It was home for us. We had a mixture of friends.....some were full time pioneers, some were MS, some were elders, some were striving for MS, some just getting by as we were. We were "in".
SO, for me it was devastating at first. I cried every day for over 3 months. I became almost house bound. Not wanting to go out for fear of running into a witness that could no longer even make eye contact with me let alone say a courteous hello. I had never felt SO alone and SO wronged by SO many people that I thought were my friends.
Fast forward 1 year......I have grown closer to my parents and my sis (who ARE JW's) which is HUGE as I have never known them the way I do now. My DH and I are even closer than before. My kids have been AMAZING as well at 13 and 16 they see that it was wrong and I have no doubt that it has changed their views as well. My BFF is NOT a JW and has been my rock. I have a small scrapbook business that I poured myself into and have found life long friends through. I am a much stronger person, but also a much more compassionate person. And most importantly A LOT less judgemental!
REWIND 1 YEAR: 20 of us go bowling the night before Thanksgiving as we have done each year prior for at least 5 years. A few in the group feel there is too much drinking.....too much having fun...... The “interviews” begin shortly after. My DH and I find out about them almost a month later while coming home from vacation with JW friends from the cong. ( whom had their interview before we left but were told NOT to tell us about it). Our “interview” was set up for Saturday January 2nd. We knew that they were asking about the drinking and if anyone was drunk that night. We refused to say if anyone was drunk that night, quoting a Watchtower. They called in “witnesses” for the others, but not my DH and I. In the "interview/impromtu JC" I questioned their reasoning for the JC as I could not understand why saying that I had thrown up from drinking was a sin. Had never heard of that before. When they quoted a scripture about me feeling stabbed in my heart for disappointing JAH by my actions, I was asked if I had a stabbing in my heart. I said that yes that I felt stabbed, but not in my heart I felt at that moment as if I had been stabbed in the back not just by my friends but for the JC meeting. During that night, I walked out of the room in tears and did not want to return. But out of respect for the "arrangement", I returned. When asked if what I was going to do to correct my drinking, I said “Before I answer that, I have a question. Why do you drink?”
BTW.....the CO was being texted by a sub CO DURING our "Interview". Nice huh??
So, I was seen as unrepentant and therefore disfellowshipped. They also told me that they took into account my meeting attendence and service time and since I was not regular they took that into account as well. I guess I was not only unrepentant, but also spiritually week and a danger to the congregation.
There were 3 others who were df’d and 6 more who were publicly reproved. 10 in all. Yes, it was used to make an example of us. It was spread all over the circuit.......gossip.......which we are not supposed to engage in. So they had no choice but to show others what would happen with the kind of behavior that went on that night.
The elders in my appeal meeting the following week changed the reason that I was DF'D. It was now for "excessive drinking". SO, even though I am not an alcoholic, nor do I make it a habit of getting drunk, it was because I have had more drinks in one night (7 drinks in 7 hours) than they felt was acceptable for me. Even if I am not drunk from the drinks......it was still excessive.
I did try to go back to meetings for a couple of months. Even attended Sunday of the convention this July. But have not returned since. Have not touched the bible or publications since that day. We used to have the publications sitting out on our end tables in the living room. No longer.
I have stated in another post that I am going to start going back the beginning of February. NOT because I want to ...... but because I need to. MY SIL is ill and I need to be able to be there for my DH and his family when she turns for the worse. Could be next month.....could be a year from now. Will I regret going back? Maybe. Will I regret NOT going back? Maybe. Either way I can't win. So, I get reinstated and start to fade.......
Do I feel as if they did me a favor?? YES!!!!! They opened my eyes to the way things really work. The "friends" that I thought I had, have not even so much as texted me to find out how I am doing. Some friends. My parents wrote a letter to the society as to what happened, not just with me, but with all the others involved. They received a response that completely upheld the elders decision. Not one apology for the way any of us were treated or questioned. That is when I completely lost faith. When you have NO where else to turn.
