Talking with JW Elders possibly..

bradford

As I wrote in a previous post I have recently written a DA letter to the elders and haven't heard anything in the way of an announcement, phone call, or visit since.

I called the elder the letter was personally written to yesterday and left a vm to call me back which he did this morning. He said they did get it but were meaning to call me and possibly meet with me to try and see if there was anything they could do to encourage me because they of course find this very sad.

I said I would meet with him personally or the other elder personally but I would not meet with both in an official capacity. He said it had to be both so I politely said I would rather not. He asked me to call or text the other elder to let him know so both are aware of my decision..

On a side note..if I don't contact him do I stay in this limbo indefinitely?!

Back to the point and hoping for some input..if I were to meet with the elders I feel like I know how it will go so what is the point..

I will explain how I got to this point, all the wrong teachings, I don't believe this is the channel Jesus is using, etc etc. They will point to a few things as evidence it is the truth:

Proclaim god's name, the ministry unitedly taught earth wide, the trinity, paradise earth, living in the last days, maybe the immortality of the soul..something like that and it will basically be let's agree to disagree and I would have wasted an hour or two of my time and their time.

To go or not to go, that is the question.

If any have had a meeting like this can you please share your feedback.

sir82

If you refuse their invitation to "encourage" you, they will eventually announce you as "no longer one of JWs".

They are just trying to gauge the sincerity of your letter - giving you one last chance, if you will.

At this point they are in "official" mode. "Officially" they need 2 witnesses for anything you might say that "could be used against you in a court of law", er, judicial committee.

If you haven't changed your mind about the DA, then just don't meet with them.

Chris Hannover

If you dont want to be a JW, why are you so concerned with following JW procedure?

Isn't writing a letter enough closure?

If you are hoping for their acceptance of you as a person, on your terms, you will be disappointed.

If you want to explain yourself and are expecting honest, fair consideration of what you say, the simple act of leaving a religion will drag into personal frustration and a long term need for validation. They dont care, but it has nothing to do with you.

You've already DA yourself, just walk away. Leave them alone and never discuss religion with them again. You will be healthier and save yourself a lot of time and frustration.

bradford

@chris

My wife is still a JW. My family are still JWs. I would like to tell them I at least tried to reason with the elders and have open honest communication so they can see that I am not being unreasonable. I also still love these people. They are only doing what they feel is right and are blind to everything that we now see. It is pretty much my last chance and explaining everything to them. One of the elders is my former best friends father in law and is known to have loose lips when he has a few glasses of bourbon. Perhaps what I say can go beyond the "official" discussion.

Also, a question for you. You say walk away, but you are on these forums..why?

Wasanelder Once

It is standard procedure to assess if your letter is sincere and not some sort of expression of depression or confusion. It will be accepted if you do not meet with them. Once you contact another elder to say you stand by your letter they have two witnesses which is ideal but NOT necessary. You sent it and one can say you stand by it. So trust me, you are out just as you requested.

Chris Hannover

I would like to tell them I at least tried to reason with the elders and have open honest communication so they can see that I am not being unreasonable.

Ok, so you are wanting validation for your actions. You want them to know you aren't the bad guy, that you at least tried to keep a relationship. That's fair.

However, it never works with JWs. That was my point, no matter how hard you try to be reasonable, you are dealing with unreasonable rules and beliefs.

Is it reasonable to assume that clearly explaining your apostasy to JWs is going to make you the "good guy"?

Also, you have seriously limited your friend's options by DAing yourself. No matter how great they are as people, you have tied their hands as JWs.

If you wished to discuss your doubts over bourbon, does sending a DA letter first help accomplish that goal?

You want to be completely out of the religion and also completely accepted by JW friends and family. While I can completely sympathize with your desire, it is unreasonable considering the circumstances.

This thread isnt about me. My actions and my motives are very different from yours.

ron rawson

My 2c: Write a letter to the editor of your local biggest newspaper and state your decision for not wanting to be known as a J.W. anymore. ...explain why in a respectful manner. IF (that may be a big IF, depending on the editor and publishers regulations) they print it, you will have at least explained publicly how you feel and why. You'll never get that thru the congregation. You just might even get other j-dubs to thinking, but don't count on it. If you have the finances, you could buy a couple of column inches and have a "public notice' printed in the classified section for a few days. The more that know, the better.

Watchtower-Free

You have experienced one of the dishonest and cunning tactics the the Governing body

has set out to the Elders that they must meet you with 2 and not a single elder.

This is so that they have a witness to what took place (each other) and you

don't . They then can say anything happened or was said.

Watch the re reaction if you simply say "I'll meet with you both but I will be recording it

for my records" . This is simply so you also have a witness to what went on .

Elders acting in their official capacity have no expectation of privacy.

They will say you can't record them and not give you any cogent reason.

Elders in this type of situation who do not want to be recorded are dishonest.

The Searcher

Tell them that you want to follow the Bible procedure for such matters -

(Matthew 18:16) "...in order that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every matter may be established" - and on that scriptural basis, you will bring your witness to the proceedings!

bradford

Yeah screw all that. Already called and said "no thanks." No point wasting any time talking. I'm walking away. I will try to stay away from this forum also. Time to live life without thinking about all this stuff and rehash it constantly.

Talking with JW Elders possibly..

Share this