My nephew Chris wrote me an e-mail like this last year. Guess what, he's a member here now. He posts on JW recovery a lot. He's read Crisis of Conscience. He's awake to the lie. But last year he was telling me that to be my friend on facebook was like eating at the table of demons.
I'm so very saddened right now
by sooner7nc 52 Replies latest jw friends
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nugget
it is the cult personality kicking in and the barriers going up. JWs know nothing in depth about their religion and what goes on only what they are taught. It is drummed into them that they are right so much they don't consider the possibility that they are wrong. In part it requires admitting that you are wrong to believe what you do and that you have been an idiot.
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cantleave
Nice response. It hurts when a friend decides to abandon you because of a belief system, but that is what happens in cults. You will find other great people as you move forward with your life.
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mamalove
You handled it well. Too bad he is blinded now. The fact that he is an inactive JW really makes me think he is a haughty, hypocrite. He obviously is not very proud of himself or confident, otherwise he would not have put you down so much and tried to elevate himself. He knows....when people criticize like that, they sense their own inadequacy. You might have triggered some feelings in him. You never know that he might wake up. Took me a long time to wake up. Hang in there!
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zoiks
Interesting and sad exchange. Your friend really has the cult personality shields up, doesn't he? It's too bad, but you handled yourself well. Maybe someday he'll look back at the way he acted and start to think.
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Lion Cask
Thank you for clarifying that for me, Joliette, that puts a different complexion on the statement from your father. Ie, it was not intended to be helpful or supportive but to put you down. My mistake.
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snowbird
(((((((Sooner)))))))
I know it saddens you, but you're handling it well.
You go, Bro!
Syl
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sd-7
I got a similar reaction my from my [big] brother. He seemed to think I was stupid for believing that Jerusalem was destroyed in 587 B.C. or that I was duped by some crackpot on a random Internet message board. But you've got to understand that when you're influenced in a way you're not even consciously aware of, logic will not be very effective, at least at first.
Perhaps your bro needs to consider his own position, say, if nuclear war happened. If he's not doing what he's supposed to do, isn't he going to be just as dead as you are? So how about removing the rafter from your own eye?
This can be a sad thing to go through. I was fortunate in that I didn't really feel that close to my brother and it wasn't hard to accept his shunning me. If one can consider that fortunate. Using scripture and logic probably won't work. I'm not sure what will. But if he's willing to have a dialogue with you, even if it's an unpleasant one, it could still be an opportunity if you're careful enough. Don't let him distract you from the real issues, and be as direct as possible in getting him to think about what he's saying, about how his own actions don't match up with his ideas, etc.
But for now, perhaps it is best to cool down. If he's not going to shun you yet, there's still hope.
--sd-7
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factfinder
Sorry this is happening to you sooner. I have no jw friends but my jw brother has a similar attitude to your jw friend. He stays in touch with my non-jw brother and sister but not me. He said that I left Jehovah (and was never really a good witness!) by giving up the meetings. He will not listen to anything I say: no questions, nothing. He said that I am "satan's mouthpiece' and he will not listen to anything that doubts or questions the "slave' and that anything said against the org is demonic and false.
He tells me soon I will die at armageddon if I do not admit I am wrong, repent and return to the KH and the elders for help.
It is very frustrating but he believes what he wants to and if he wants to remain trapped in that controlling cult that is his decision and his problem.
Anyway- I'm sorry someone who you felt was your friend has turned on you. I found out a long time ago that I had no real friends among jws.
The only sister I still have contact with does not even know about the new generation teaching!
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