Eek! A Male!

by laverite 23 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  laverite

  "Eek! A Male! Treating all men as potential predators doesn't make our kids safer."

  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703779704576073752925629440.html

  The title and link above are to an awesome article from the Wall Street Journal recently.

  As a parent, my primary concern is keeping my children safe from potential dangers, including abuse. But I'm not one who suffers from what some have called "Pedophile Panic." I do not see all men as potential threats. But my eyes and ears are always wide open.

  On the radio today, two DJs were talking about a stay at home dad (in California) who picked his children up from school every day to walk them home safely. His experiences walking his kids home from school have included parents seeing him walk off campus with his (own) kids calling 911, cops coming rushing up, him having to prove he's his kids' parent, other parents (all moms!!!) rushing up to scream "That's him!!! That's the perp!!!!" etc. A yard duty lady even freaked out as he was leaving campus (after school!!) with his OWN kids and started jumping up and down making a big commotion, waving her hands trying to get "help." Yep. She needs help alright.

  Increasingly, all men seem to be seen as potential predators, in virtually all contexts. This is so friggin' sad! I have a friend who is gay and also happens to be a kindergarden teacher. Each year, there's one or two parents who pull their daughters out of his class at the beginning of the year when they find out they have a male teacher, for fear that this gay kindergarden teacher will molest them. "I don't want to risk that he will touch my daughter!!!" one parent told the principal. I mean, OMG!!! WTH. Total idiots. (No boys have ever been withdrawn from his class, only girls). I'm sorry, but I'd be very happy if my daughters had all gay male teachers all the way through their education. Gay men are great! But that's another topic for discussion.

  Men are not inherently dangerous. Neither are women. But men seem to freak us out as a society.

  I am not going to copy and paste the article on here due to respecting copyright issues. I will give a preview, and for those interested in discussing, follow the link above.

  The preview:

  Last week, the lieutenant governor of Massachusetts, Timothy Murray, noticed smoke coming out of a minivan in his hometown of Worcester. He raced over and pulled out two small children, moments before the van's tire exploded into flames. At which point, according to the AP account, the kids' grandmother, who had been driving, nearly punched our hero in the face.

  Why?

  Mr. Murray said she told him she thought he might be a kidnapper.
• 

  brotherdan

  Interesting post! My mom was sexually abused (not by a JW) and grew up with a hatred towards pretty much all men. That isn't such a good thing when you have 2 sons, however. She preached against masturbation and dating like you wouldn't believe. Men were disgusting creatures that, if not controlled, would hump everything that moves.
• 

  laverite

  Brother Dan -

  That's very much a Victorian attitude towards sex - male sexuality is inherently dangerous. Men are these seething caldrons of sexuality, and women are (nearly asexual) virtuous beings, who experience sexual desire only when their wombs are crying out for a baby. Men = dangerous. Men=dirty. Men=to be feared. These social messages are internalized by boys as they grow up.

  It really is so sad that boys are brought up to feel that they are a potential danger/threat. How are we socializing boys in our society to feel about themselves?!!!
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  brotherdan

  Exactly. I felt so evil when I was a teenager and would masturbate. I was doing something dirty and gross before God. In fact, at one point I stopped pioneering because I thought I was a gross sinner. The WTS does not understand human sexuality. Even though they allow it within the confines of marriage, it is still viewed as something dirty. I mean, you have to be careful of what you do and don't do with your partner sexually. You could be married and have sex and if you have oral sex, then you have just committed a sin.

  Sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread. But the WTS really does screw people up sexually. No wonder there are so many abusers in the organization.
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  Lady Lee

  I've worked with plenty of women who were abused by other women - nuns even.

  And I've worked with men who were abused by women.

  Thinking that only men are sexual predators is ridiculous.
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  laverite

  Brother Dan, you wrote: " No wonder there are so many abusers in the organization." EXACTLY. Their view of sexualty is so very unhealthy, it's frightening. I remember your previous comments about stopping pioneering due to masturbating. The Watchtower Publishing and Real Estate Corp = their own worst enemies! They drive people away and drive faithful members away because they use guilt the way they do.

  The whole thing is that it's so healthy and completely natural for men and women to masturbate. Because virtually all men masturbate (or have a history of masturbation), and the BOrg is so out of touch with reality (no pun intended), they really do harm people's mental health.
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  laverite

  Exactly Lady Lee. That's the whole point. IMHO this is one of the reasons that children are harmed by this warped view of reality. We are hyper vigilant when it comes to men, but fail to see (or even label) sexual abuse committed by women. It's tragic!
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  Lady Lee

  We need to teach children a balanced perspective of abuse issues. Balanced doesn't mean one-sided on the gender issues. We can teach children safety and what to look out for regardless of the gender and without making scared of everybody.

  They need to watch out for behaviors and what people say and different kinds of touch that might actually feel good but are also confusing and wrong when an adult is doing it. And we need to teach them they are not responsible if something does happen. They just need to tell somebody.

  Gender has nothing to do with it.
• 

  laverite

  Lady Lee, you wrote:

  "We need to teach children a balanced perspective of abuse issues. Balanced doesn't mean one-sided on the gender issues. We can teach children safety and what to look out for regardless of the gender and without making scared of everybody.

  They need to watch out for behaviors and what people say and different kinds of touch that might actually feel good but are also confusing and wrong when an adult is doing it. And we need to teach them they are not responsible if something does happen. They just need to tell somebody.

  Gender has nothing to do with it."

  By doing this, we will be more likely to actually protect our children. The pedophile panic that so many adults irrationally seem to exhibit AND the (related) confusing messages about gender that children receive really undermine parents' ability to protect their children. By doing every single thing that you listed in your post, fewer children will be harmed and when a child is hurt, they have somewhere to go and someone to go to so that they aren't victimized over and over again. Too many have had to endure abuse that could have been stopped so much earlier.
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  Snoozy

  I have never heard of a pedophile that was gay..has anyone else?

  I would not however want a gay teacher if he was one of the flamboyant ones..not good role model.

  And as far as all men go..you can't tell by looking or even knowing someone if they are a pedophile..and the problems seems to be growing. If I were parent to a young child right now I would probably ruin the child by my overprotectiveness.

  On the other side of the stick, there are some pretty disfunctional women teachers also..

  It's a parents job to keep track of what kind of teacher is teaching your child!!!!!!

  Visit them OFTEN at school..

  Snoozy..JMO