Hello JWNers,
Well a lot of things have been happening in my personal life.
My wife and I have been through several trials, our youngest who was born with a rare condition will be four this month and last year my wife got the "all clear" from cancer :)
Financially, there have been changes too, some regular work from the last five years finished back in June of last year and the Lord has been long encouraging me to use some talents He gave me once again. I have a great prophetic dream towards the end of last year which was a great encouragement so I have been feeling for a while that this year is time for pastures new.
In the midst of testing we have received much blessing. Although there was no spare money, the Lord got us a grant to convert our loft space into a bedroom for our son who has shared our bedroom, something we weren't even seeking ourselves! When the idea was birthed I knew it was a gift from our Heavenly Father and after some time waiting (and a little contenting for it to 'come to pass') they started building work a couple of weeks back :)
Anyhow, I had been winding down my postings on here a bit, as some of you might have noticed. Then, last Wednesday I received a prophecy from a lady at our church as we met midweek at someone's house. She told me I had taken responsibility for three or four things (two being intertwined) but they weren't actually my responsibility. I asked her if she knew what they were. She told me to seek the Lord during the week and confer next week. As it was she said she only had an idea about what one or two of the things were.
The first thing that came to mind was this place. I feel a responsibility to stand up for Christ here, to help those who have found Him and point the way to the others who are looking. However, it is not first and foremost my responsibility, they are His sheep and He will call them and shepherd them as He chooses! Sure, I have some pastoral gifting and calling to disciple and teach but there are other gifts I need to focus on. Interestingly, the prophetess from church is an exJW so my guess is she will have had an insight into my JW "responsibility", I'll find out this Wednesday no doubt :)
Even small things are happening in the change. Our TV died just before new year and we feel no rush to replace it. Our daughter can certainly watch far too much and the old pattern of my wife watching TV of an evening and me surfing the internet had now changed. As a family we are enjoying no TV and much conversation and fun together. In fact, someone else had a prophetic vision of us as a family before about October or November time doing just that, they saw us running through a field of corn, smiling and laughing. I am more than pleased how quickly that one has come to pass, dead TV and all :)
So, I will be sad to go in one sense. I have had many good times on here and made some great friends and many more acquaintances. I have learned probably too much about JWs, their culture, their thinking and their kingdom. The Lord has given me a heart for them and those who have suffered at the hands of the WT, the pain and the wounds. However, He has long been saying there are other sheep which are not of this particular flock He wants me to show His love to as well.
My "JW" involvement has been great for my own faith. It got me searching for questions in scripture and asking the Lord for the answers. I am far more assured of my own salvation than ever before. That hope is Christ. I have come from a place around five or so years ago where I has pretty my zero faith and where I thought Jesus was a bit cheesy to where I think He is the coolest dude who walked the planet. Jesus will polarize opinion, there is really no middle ground. I have learned many things too. I cannot do a thing without Him. I cannot open people's eyes by myself. I can only listen and serve. I have tried to listen more and more to His voice and avoid the circular and pointless debate that I got wrapped up in earlier on in my life on here.
In many ways, being active on a forum like this is quite time consuming. I guess that I have likely spent in the units of thousands of hours posting on JWN and moreover reading posts. This place is quite compelling and indeed it has probably mastered me too often rather than I mastering my coming here.
Anyhow, I will be around for a little while, no doubt, saying goodbyes and such. I won't mention people by name now in case I miss anyone but you know who you are :)
As ever, I hope and pray every blessing in Christ be upon you all.
Much love,
Stephen xx