Heres my email
Dear Emma
I really enjoyed your show today and I would like to thank you for your coverage on highlighting this important and disturbing issue. Many people that come into contact are not really aware of disfellowshipping and its implications until they are fully indoctrinated.
I too was disfellowshipped when I was 18, in an unfair way. I was born into this religion so had no choice when I was growing up but to be part of the Jehovah’s Witnesses organisation. As a young child I was sexually abused by someone who was a friend of my parents he was a ministerial servant (a position before becoming an elder) at the time of abuse. I told my parents a few years later. They told the elders in their congregation but they were told that as it happened a few years ago they couldn’t do anything. I was told to "put my trust into Jehovah and he will deal with it". So that was what I did, I really tried hard to be a good witness girl and was appointed an elders wife to study with me as I was seen to be spiritually weak. I disclosed my abuse in tears to her and her husband, he immediately contacted Bethel in London and told me that it was being dealt with but I wouldn’t probably hear anything but the elder never contacted my parents to say what I had just told them. I was not encouraged to go to the police or court as this would bring reproach on Jehovah’s name, again I was told to just trust in Jehovah. I got baptised at the age of 14 years old, and later discovered that my abuser had been appointed an elder. He passed away a few years ago, and had a funeral with all the honours. The fact that he was allowed to be put in a position of trust with families and young children made me sick. I started losing faith and by the time I was 17 I was rebelling. I was seeing worldly boys behind my parent’s backs and I also started smoking which my mum found out.
The elders wanted to meet with me but I didn’t want to speak to them. They come around my parent’s house one day and I hid in the bathroom refusing to talk to them. Eventually I let one of them in, I was given a choice to repent of my sins and stop smoking or be disfellowshipped and be thrown out into Satan’s world and lose my relationship with my parents and friends in the religion. I said that I was confused and didn’t know. A few days later they called my parents and told them they had made a decision to disfellowship me, and that was that. No proper Judicial Committee nothing.
Although my parents were still talking to me because I was still living at home with them, they made it clear how I had disappointed them and how hurt they were, that I will die at Armageddon. I also lost all contact with my friends in the congregation I went to. They would not even look me in the eye in passing in the street. I ended up on a downward spiral of self destruction with no care of my well being, as I had no social skills in the outside world.
I have been doing research on the history of the organisation and discovered so many things to make them a false religion.
My father passed away on 5th November 2010, and this was the first time I would have to be in contact with JW's since I left. The elder who my parents told my abuse too was at my parent’s house, he told me that he would come and see me as "a nice girl like you should be in the truth". I told him that the religion nearly destroyed me, he replied with "well it was only one person". I wanted to hit him, but responded with " no it was the conduct of the society and also I have researched the history and find them not to be who they claim to be, but if you want to come around for a chat your more than welcome", needless to say I have not heard from him since, he didn’t even turn up to my dad’s funeral. At the funeral I was shunned by all the JW's, they avoided any eye contact. The same people that I grew up with, it was heartbreaking. With the exception of one who touched my arm and said how sorry she was in my dad passing. A few days later this person then got a telling off for speaking with me, even though she explained that I had just lost my dad and was giving me some comfort they told her that as I was disfellowshipped she was wrong to even do that.
I am seen as the bad one, yet none of them really knows the truth about my situation. I am told by my mum that I made that decision to get baptised, I knew what the consequences would be if I did not comply to their rules, It is my fault that they are no longer able to socialise with me, because I had turned my back on Jehovah. It really does grieve me.
I hope that there are more programmes like the one you did today to highlight the issue of shunning and its destructive nature. The general public need to be made aware of all the hidden bits if they are considering joining this religion.
Thank you for reading,
Kind regards
Happyexjw