Phone Call From My Mother! (page 5)

slipnslidemaster

LOL @ Ginny.

Focus, LOVE your ideas. All of them. Worth seriously thinking about.

Slipnslidemaster:"The problem with Ireland is that it’s a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent."
- Hugh Leonard

Greetings Ranchette,
I have read all the posts here and knowing your situation, a agree with much of what everyone has said. Ranchie, Your mother has no sense at all that she is acting in such a dispicable way. Jehovah's Witnesses are impressed upon repeatedly at the meetings to hate. That emotion permeates everything and everyone that is part of their lives and in making thier future decisions. So many here on this board, have been through some form of this. You know, when I became a JW at 19, my mother could have treated me in the same manner. Our relationship was not great for many reasons, but she never showed such cruel treatment as yours and many other mothers in the "truth" have torwards their own children. She and my unbelieving relatives showed tolerance, and for the most part respected all those years of me being a JW. But it is different the other way around. Witness family members will try to emotionally annhilate you if you don't come back to the cult. This is so abusive and perpetrative, and the tactics are quite literally the same tactics of a true child abuser. Though it may not be in a sexual sense, the controls for the emotional perpetration are identical. Shame blame, threats of abandonment, guilt, and often violent talk or actions. Perpetration of another human to this extent is morally and humanly wrong. Yet, as in my own situation, it seems to be easier to cut off ties with the abusers if they are of sexual nature, however, what your mother is doing to you is just as damaging in many of the same ways. But it is harder to break the tie when you are not literally abused in a sexual way. It is really the same in the way WT abuses. You know Ranch, when we cut ties with my mother and father-in-law for what he did to our child, they acted identicle to what you mom is doing. Even at family gatherings, the unbelieving relatives would ask them why we did not go, and they would act like the victim by telling them "we were mad at them and holding a grudge, and not forgiving", yet they witheld the fact of why we were not in a relationship with them. And then when we finally told the relatives what he had done, my in-laws were furious that we did not "play there game of secrecy". They will keep up that facade at all costs. You can expect your mother to begin to trash your reputation with the non-believing relatives, the same way they do at the kingdom hall to the members. Your mother will make up little lies or half truths to keep you from gaining a close relationship with her unbelieving relatives. She will imply to them that You have don something terribly wrong, and there may be some who are very co-dependent of her who will acutually buy her bullshit. Every time you return her call and allow her to engage youself in her act of latest abuse, you will be the one left hurting, because a perpetrator in any form does not believe they are really perpetrating because the denial is so strong. And when a perpetrator uses a religious belief that they have God backing thier action, than there is really no hope of repairing any kind of a relationship. I have lived this. Believe me, Ranchette. To this day, in my own circumstances, the family members of mine who are still Jehovah's Witnesses, and actually themselves victims of my father-in-law, believe they must shun me and my family, rather than the pedophile who is one of them. These are actual victims. The JW pull is so powerful you will be pulled back in to take new blows from them until you see that they will never view you as having goodness if you are not one of them. This is because they have been subliminally taught over and over again to literally hate you to death. This is what has happened to me and my children and husband and it will happen to you and especially now that the sexual abuse issue is at the core of what you have chosen to do by going along with the braveness of your husband. Be Well Ranchette and keep in touch. You are a strong lady, and you and your family will get through this.

Love, Aroarer

Phone Call From My Mother!

slipnslidemaster

GinnyTosken

ARoarer

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