Well, I'm DA'd Now! :)

by rem 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • rem
    rem

    My judicial meeting took place on Monday night. It didn't go very well. I was a bit annoyed because the meeting centered on my private beliefs - things that I've already spoken to the elders about in the past many times before. I don't think I handled myself as well as I wanted to, but I guess I did ok under the circumstances. The meeting was three hours long, and I recorded the first hour of it. The meeting was pretty repetitious, so the first hour is pretty representative of the entire meeting.

    I wasn't so much nervous as I was excited and I think that kept me from responding in as calm a manner as I would have liked. Also, my memory becomes really spotty when I'm put on the spot like that, so there are many things that I wanted to say that escaped me at the time. I did allow them to do a lot of the talking, which I thought would be valuable for the recording.

    Basically, the discussion centered around faith vs. evidence. Their argument was basically that I had to accept the bible on faith if I were to continue to be a Witness. I couldn't do that. I was surprised that the meeting dwelled more on my private beliefs than on what I might have said to others. It seems that there is a difference in their eyes between one who has doubts based on a weakness and one who has doubts based on research. According to the elders, the latter is an apostate, while the former is just spiritually weak.

    By the end of the meeting it was clear that I was going to be DF'd. I asked if I could have the option of DA'ing myself retroactively if their decision was to DF me, as I would prefer DA'ing over DF'ing. This conversation went on for an hour and it was finally decided that I could not do that. At that I stated that I had no other choice than to DA myself. They wanted me to write a letter, but I told them that I'd rather do it orally. They consulted the flock book which said that that was acceptable and they accepted my oral disassociation.

    After the meeting I felt tired, but it was a good tired. This phase of my life is now over. I was baptized on December 17, 1988 at the tender age of 13, and I was DA'd on January 28, 2002 at 26 years of age. Maybe I'll celebrate it every year? :)

    Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know how I was doing. I'm doing great right now. I converted the recording into an MP3 (about 4 mb) if anyone would like to listen to it. The quality is not that great in some parts, but I think it came out pretty good overall. My mistake was in not taking my suit jacket off - any slight movement I made came up as static on the recording (and I did do a lot of gesturing while I spoke, apparently!). If anyone would like to listen to it, email me. If there is enough demand, then perhaps someone could host it?

    So now my apostate status is official! Do I get a gold watch or something? :)

    rem

    "We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
  • peaceloveharmony
    peaceloveharmony

    rem, well i don't have a gold watch for ya but how's about a ?

    glad you are taking this well. i'm sorry it had to come down to a jc. screw 'em anyways right?

    (((rem)))

    love
    h

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    No watch, but congradulations.

    You're free.

    Send the MP3 to Kent

    Slipnslidemaster:"The problem with Ireland is that it’s a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent."
    - Hugh Leonard

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    Welcome to the club! How are your JW friends/family taking it?

    “We all fell down from the milky way, hanging around here for the judgement day, heaven only knows who’s in command.”- Jimmy Buffet

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    You wore a suit coat??? Damn you're a nice guy!

    This must be a bit cathartic for you?

    The elders seem to have decided to just let it all pass for right now, in my case. I'm trying to think of something that will involve either the press, or a lawyer, to head them off at the pass, as it were. Perhaps write a nice editorial for the religion section of my local paper.

  • rem
    rem

    Thanks guys!

    ThiChi, my mom is sooooo proud of me - really, I'm not being sarcastic. I'll be attending my father's wedding in a couple weeks, and by then the announcement will probably be made. I'll run into a lot of my JW family there, so I'm sure it will be an interesting event. My prediction is that they will avoid me like the plague, but my brother and sister will stand by me.

    I won't know for sure the reaction until this all becomes public, but I don't think my JW 'friends' are beyond shunning, unfortunately. Oh well, at least by now my wife and I have made new, 'worldly' friends, so it's not like we are out in the cold.

    rem

    "We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
  • rem
    rem

    Six,

    I'm not sure if I could get a lawyer involved to stop any public announcement. I don't even have a lawyer, so I'm not sure if I have any time to start that process anyway. It would be cool to make the squirm with a lawyer letter, though. Anyone here an attorney? :)

    Also, I'm not sure of the legal ramifications of recording the meeting. I'm wondering if it's ok as long as I don't identify the other parties on the recording? (How do those TV shows do it with undercover cameras? I suppose they just have expensive legal teams! LOL)

    rem

    "We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
  • freeman
    freeman

    Hey Rem,
    Don’t cults really suck? At least you are fully free now. Not that I know what that is all about since it seems they never bother to da/df me no matter what I do. Maybe I better change that name of mine. As far as your friends go, sorry for the loss. If it makes you feel any better, a recent Gallop poll suggests that friendships that are conditional based on adherence to a set of beliefs are pretty shallow. Just kidding about the poll but don’t you agree?

    Anyway congratulations and may you find peace in your new life.

    Freeman

  • ninjaturtle
    ninjaturtle

    What now rem? Are you atheist?

  • singsongboi
    singsongboi

    say -- are things really getting that tuf?

    once - no action would have been taken over private beliefs (doubts)!

    or is this mob of elders just doing a bit of brown nosing??

    (i've had absolutely no contact for 13 years- hence the question!)

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