Sorry, mostly for the accident but also for the turmoil in the your life. A large part of the bitterness of the Dfing is the lack of control. They robbed you of your ability to direct your own life and what makes it worse is they did it without even following their own rules. That is a large reason for the dfing policy, it robs a nonconforming person of dignity. And BTW it isn't really all that rare for a JC to make a ruling withou the person's knowledge or contact. They did the same to me and my wife and my sister in law was also DFd in abstentia as they call it. She was informed weeks later by a friend from the hall she was Dfd but to this day years later she doesn't know why. Take a breath and see it for what it was, a power struggle that you were going to lose some day anyway. They are the gamepark owners and they make the rules, you cannot win in their game. You saw the game for what it was and had chosen to play a different game long before before this happened, a game in which you make the rules. You are really the victor not the victim.
so oompa got df'd this week...
by oompa 131 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
Satunus asked: Mary: So, you're thinking that the inquisitors felt that he was in danger of dying and felt a need to df him before he died?
Absolutely. If he had died before they were able to disfellowship him, he would have been entitled to a 'truth funeral' and there's no way that was going to happen. Plus, there are some elders who just cannot stand the thought of someone slipping away from their grasp without receiving their particular brand of punishment, namely, 'disfellowshipment'.
It's disgusting how these f*cktards don't see that they have become the exact same thing that Jesus preached against.
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streets76
Good riddance, to them and their bloodthirsty War God!
Seems like jehovah doesn't want us to have blood because he wants it all for himself.
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sir82
Another echo to "how exactly do the elders know what medical treatment you received?"
If they found out via the hospital, and you are a US citizen, the hospital broke HIPAA regulations and you can easily win a multimillion dollar lawsuit.
If they found out via one of your family members, it had to have been 2 of them (2 witness rule). It doesn't count if it's 2 persons repeating hearsay.
In any event, the elders should have met with you personally before announcing anything. It sounds like they didn't even ask to talk to you.
It seems pretty clear that the elders thoroughly botched this case. If you are interested in doing so, you could probably get the whole committee canned by Bethel if you wrote an appeal letter and coped in Brooklyn & the CO. Get an experienced & sympathetic elder / ex-elder to help you with the letter.
On the other hand, you may wish to just take advantage of the opportunity to be done with the whole ordeal and move on.
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PSacramento
Well, who would want to be part of an organization that believes you are better off dead than alive anyways, LOL !
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undercover
oompa - sorry to hear of your latest ordeal. Hope your getting better physically after the wreck though
I've only skimmed some of the replies, but my guess is if they knew you accepted blood then you were DAd, which doesn't require JC meetings, etc. And that is the new procedure for when someone accepts blood. They automatically DA themselves. Same effect as DFing but the wording makes it easier on them legally.
The question is, how do they "know" you accepted blood? Who told them? Two witnesses? The hospital? If you wanted, you could make a really big stink. I saw that some of the replies recommended going public. If you wanted to be a thorn in their side, that might not be a bad idea.... what a story: man critically injured in motorcyle wreck. Most churches would rally and hold fund-raisers and help the family, instead this church excommunicates the injured party for a medical procedure used while he was out of commission and unable to communicate.
Then again, you could just say 'fuck all y'all' and move on with your life knowing now what you suspected all along, that you're so-called 'friends' were anything but.
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oompa
Thanks for you many kind words and input. i called a former great friend of mine...now an elder in the hall...and told him i would have met with a committee if they had informed me...he said he would arrange a meeting with them if i wanted...i told him i just wanted to know why they dfd me without telling me.
now thanks to your posts i see that they are saying i DA'd myself by taking blood. one elder may have been present when the doc told my wife i had two liters of blood....not sure about this HIPPA thing, but i wish my wife had been alone when the doc talked to her...but i am sure the elders were trying to comfort and support her in the hospital
the only thing i am really going to miss is my folks....my dad is a hardcore elder and has told me he will no longer be able to speak to me 100% of the time....mom is less hardcore and so is my jw youngest son who just moved out on his own. while i do miss some of my really good friends....good people...i have missed them for two or three years already because none of them have called me or asked me over...so they really aren't my friends anymore anyway....thanks again all...................................................oompa
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leavingwt
oompa: You're going to be all right. Hang in there. Sorry about this.
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james_woods
oompa: You're going to be all right. Hang in there. Sorry about this.
What leavingWT said +++ 1 million.
Actually, in time you will find that you are better off - you have the moral high ground, and really nothing has changed except for that.
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OnTheWayOut
The DA makes more sense. The HIPPA violation would be against the doctor or hospital and not the elder, so you might think to let that go.
I will suggest trying to wear down your folks with cards and photos to keep them updated.