KIMBO- It takes time. Be easy on yourself. Accept how you feel , and read up on how to gradually cope with it. Keep your chin up- you will be O.K
The struggle to avoid being bitter
by crazycate 21 Replies latest jw friends
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wobble
I don't know that I am bitter, regretful yes, I could cry at the lost years, lost opportunities, my childrens childhood was nothing like it should have been, I deeply regret all of that, but the future is down to me, the past is gone, I cannot change it.
I feel anger at the WT and its leaders, an anger that keeps me working to put a spanner in their works in any way I can, they used me, abused my trust, and will continue to do that to many more people, unless they are thwarted in any way we can.
So, don't be bitter, look to the future with hope and excitement, but don't lose your anger folks, it is a useful spur to action.
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factfinder
Yes I am bitter. thinking about how my life was wasted, now I have no job, etc.
Very good posts everyone!
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alias
crazycate, bitterness is a common part of the process. Feel what you have to feel for all of its appropriateness to your situation. Eventually a time will come when you can choose whether you will actively spend your potent energy on bitterness or if you will just experience residual layers. There's a huge difference. You get to decide how things go now.
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Quandry
Yep, bitter sometimes. Spent more than thirty years pushing myself to get to every meeting...study that W.T. magazine....get in service...book study group in my home....clean up.....get to work.....it is exhausting just thinking about it.
On the other hand....I have my weekends to myself now, and try to look at a flower or something ordinary and take the time to really appreciate it. I am 59 years old and am in college. I WILL HAVE MY DEGREE. I found out that I can think for myself, and enjoy everything I study.
Way to go anyone who is getting the education now that you didn't when "in."
The bitterness decreases and the satisfaction increases with time and effort!
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Lady Lee
Sometimes it is hard not to be angry when the JWs keep slapping you in the face but you make some excellent points
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aSphereisnotaCircle
I can get really bitter
Then I remember how lucky I am in others ways.
Even as an ordinary, cult raised, mind control survivor, poorly educated, middle class, american female, Im still wealthier and have more freedoms and oportunity then most women in the world and I know it.
Bitter is a normal and valid reaction to what was stolen form us. And in the begining the bitterness can be overwhelming, but eventually it will fade, as the good things in your life begin replacing all the bad things we had as a witnesses.
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crazycate
Thank you everyone for all your insightful comments and good advice.
I feel that I am doing better and then something happens that brings all the bitterness back. Well, we struggle on, right?
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LongHairGal
CRAZYCATE: Ex-JWs cannot help being somewhat bitter. The tragedy is if they allow the bitterness to overshadow the rest of their life. I came in as a young adult so at least I had what some call a 'normal' childhood with holidays and activities kids should enjoy. Nevertheless, I still wasted some of my best years in this sham. I am horrified at how damaged I would have been if I were even more involved. I work full time and was considered to be on the 'fringes'. These control freaks didn't have me one hundred percent. But, I can never get back wasted precious time. I have to consider my JW experience as just a bad experience in my life (like a bad marriage). Maybe I was protected in some way I will never know. This is what I tell myself and I do not beat myself up anymore for being foolish.
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moshe
I was bitten once by the WT rattlesnake and while I hold no personal grudges against any rattlesnake cousins I might meet, neither do I show them any kindness. After all, a rattlesnake can't deny it's desire to bite you.