Part 3: The October Surprise!
JWs were very eager about world events – Peace and Security: The worldwide pronouncement of Peace and Security has been a prophetic mantra of the JW religion since before I became associated in 1968. And now, at long last, it was finally upon us! True, 1975 had not brought Armageddon, just as 1914 did not bring it either. Yet the historical revision of 1914 made it seem less important. In the cosmic time scale, what is just another 16 years from 1975? Maybe this was the period between Adam and Eve’s creation? Maybe this was the time they had before the end of the 6th creative day! Maybe this was the unaccounted for period that we needed to add on to 1975 to get to the final days?
It was again exciting, like it was just before 1975. Cautionary words were spoken recently at the District Conventions, but you could feel the momentum building again, and the Convention speakers could not totally contain the thrill in their voices. Maybe Ray Franz missed something when he wrote Crisis of Conscience! The Soviet Union was about to undergo a great change. The Portland Oregonian newspaper projected that the Communist regime would eventually collapse into its original 15 Republics. When I presented this to an Elder at a Hall I gave the Public talk at, he was astounded, and noted that the Society would have to revise the ”Your Will be Done” book if the Soviet Union breaks up.
Yet nothing curbed our excitement that was at times even melodramatic with visions of the Great Tribulation and Armageddon! The joint announcement of “Peace and Security” by then President George Bush, sr. and Mikail Gorbachev of the Soviet Union sent chills up our spines. I felt for this brief period that maybe we really had the “Truth” and that it was good I waited and watched ... and stayed with Jehovah’s Organization. I felt a sense of relief that I had not allowed Satan to steal away my heaven bound hopes, and my family could happily look forward to the promised Paradise Earth!
The timing of the August Peace and Security announcement seemed fitting for the Watch Tower view that major events of Biblical proportions often happen just on or before the Fall or the Spring. I felt renewed optimism. Time was indeed short, and any effort I could make to preach the Good News of Jehovah’s Kingdom was now more important than ever before! It was fun to be a JW again!
Summer was now gone ... and October had just begun: I boarded the plane at Portland International Airport. I saw my colleague sitting not far from me. We nodded and smiled. I took my seat, got settled, and of course, took out my Watchtower to read up on the latest with God’s organization. Something inside me still burned, still ate away at me about the JW religion ... yet, I was able to quickly bury it ... and not “think” about it.
We landed at Los Angeles International Airport. It was a safe and relaxing ride as I was able to get some sleep. We drove from the airport to our hotel and checked in. Then the man I traveled with, Jay, asked if I would join him for breakfast in the morning. I gave no thought about what that meal would bring ... so a good meal and a good night’s rest were more important to me than I realized.
The Surprise: We ordered our meal and were having light conversation. The conversation eventually veered into the political instability going on with the Soviet Union. As we begin eating breakfast, I decided to witness to him. I brought up the subject of Peace and Security as declared by Presidents Bush and Gorbachev. I pointed to the fulfillment of prophecy mentioned at 1 Thessalonians 5:3. Rather than challenge me, he said that he found what I was saying interesting, but “didn't feel it was appropriate to read too much into such events as humans often err and must revise their thinking.” I had to agree, but felt a little wind leaving my sails. In just one sentence he set aside what I thought was a Premier World Event fulfilling Bible Prophecy. He was not impressed.
He then took control of the conversation and asked me what religion I belonged to. After saying that I was a JW, he unpretentiously said, 'Well, I don't know much about JWs except that they are known for making false prophecies.' Rather than attacking me directly by debating over an application of prophecy, he politely moved onto a subject where JWs have difficulty defending. He could have used a question, but in this case the way he so kindly stated his concern, it caught me off guard. My memory now jolted up Crisis of Conscience. Yikes! 1914, 1925, 1940s, 1975 ... which one will he want to talk about?
I tried to retake control by asking what prophecy he had in mind. JWs will do this on a number of subjects to get the householder to express some personal concern. As JWs we learned how to take control and lead the householder to the conclusion we wanted them to reach. This tactic can be very effective. I expected him to bring up 1975, and since I lived through this saga, I was prepared to talk about it.
He then stated his concern regarding the year 1914 and the failure of the world to end as prophesied by JWs. Given this, my mouth started moving, and it resulted in something unexpected – I then took the rope and hung myself. I explained the prophecy and how we interpret it to really mean that 1914 was the start of the last days and that all of the wars, famine, floods, earthquakes, food shortages, crime, etc. have been part of the sign of the last days as spoken in Matthew 24; then the end will come. I managed to say all this with a straight face, knowing what Ray Franz said about the actual predictions the Society (aka Charles Russell) said up to that year. How I managed to keep speaking the Party line knowing what I knew is still beyond me. I must have still felt that 1914 was significant somehow, and that the revisions to understanding it made some sense.
He didn't let me off the hook. Like a skilled swordsman, he cut to the heart and asked a critical question. 'How long before all of this happens, before the End comes?' I said that it will happen according to Jesus' words in Luke 21, within one generation. Then, though his words were ever so soft and gentile, he now pulled out the “Ax” and chopped me right down the middle ... 'How long is a generation?' Suddenly, my mind was spinning, realizing the significance of what he just said. For over two decades I had been able to answer virtually any Bible question. At the doors, I felt like a Bible giant. Now, it was as though my plane had stalled and I was in a nose dive with my engines on fire. I well knew the Scripture he had cited. I had wondered the same thing many years ago, but had allowed myself to put the point aside.
The battle wasn't over yet. I now wonder if he was experienced at this. It seems like he must have known that another blow was needed to wake me up. So he plunged his words in my chest again like the two-edged sword. This time he just commented with a simple statement in his same kind voice. ”I can't say much regarding prophetic speculations, but this I do know and live by: Jesus said at Luke 21:8 regarding the end time when the Apostles questioned him, and said, ‘Watch out that you are not deceived. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am he' and, 'The time is near.’ Or declaring that the Christ is hidden in the inner chambers.’ So, I am very skeptical of any religion that make end-time prophetic claims, or about Jesus returning in some exclusive way.”
Here were in late 1991 at the time, 77 years since 1914. Even a baby born then would be nearing the upper limit of a generation as spoken in Psalm 90:10. I could not think ... it was like all the thrill of Peace and Security seemed so insignificant ... like I had just found out that there really is no Santa Clause. And that verse about Jesus hidden in the “Inner Chambers” suddenly took on life ... could this be that a religion like the JWs who would proclaim some ”Invisible Presence” were guilty of being those false Prophets that Jesus warned about? Crisis of Conscience came to the foreground, and there was no more hiding it, no more getting around it, no more denial!
In a Stunning Blow the Watch Tower armor cracked in two. The October Surprise was upon me ... I was ambushed, and didn’t see it coming! I prayed that God would relieve me from this situation as I could not take anymore. At that moment the waitress arrived with our check and I sang in my heart, ‘thank you Jesus for getting me out of this hole I dug for myself!’
His manner was kind at all times. He did not get puffy and then tell me that I needed to be saved and I must leave the Watch Tower and put my faith in Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Not that these words are wrong; they may be very correct. He knew I was well versed in the Bible. He knew that I had faith in Jesus Christ. He also knew that I was reliant upon an organization for spiritual guidance. Rather than subtly insult me or argue with me, he applied kindness in his methodology. Whether this was done consciously or not I do not know.
A non-JW man without JW bias was able to finally finish what Ray Franz started. This was indeed a surprise! No, he did not attack me, but my thinking and application of Scripture. I dared not bring up anymore with him. No, I needed time to think and consider just why I was so excited about something like Peace and Security and how this had almost turned me back to the Watch Tower forever. No, more time was needed again. Nevertheless, I was not to be left to cope with this October Surprise ... for the weeks and months that lay ahead were to bring on a Tidal Wave that would wash away the Sand Castle of JW Fantasy Religion – Forever!
November brings in the first Swell of the Tidal Wave:”In Search of Christian Freedom” arrived in the mail at work. As I did with Crisis of Conscience, I kept it concealed in my briefcase with its combination locks. I again found myself reading at every opportunity, waiting in the car while my wife went into the fabric store, or in the bathroom at home, and even took a Saturday at the park all to myself.
That book was like a watershed of information. Whatever I did not find in Crisis of Conscience, I found in this book. The main difference is that Crisis of Conscience left me without any idea of what to do next. Whereas In Search zoomed in on the thought for me, where Franz quoted Hebrews 13:13 – to go outside the Camp (visible place of security – organization) and be with Christ alone. Upon completion of this book, the sheep-like covering of the Watch Tower was falling off and underneath a wolf was emerging as the occupant.
This book took my JW armor that my business partner had seriously cracked, and broke it off of my body. I was without any sense of security. I did not feel like a JW. I still walked and talked like one, and I still went to meetings ... but now, it was gone ... like the dust from the chaff when the wheat is harvested.
OH MY GOD! ... What will I do with my Family? I asked myself after reading In Search what I would do were my family to leave the organization. I said to myself, I would be gone faster than a New York second! The power of the information, the truth about the Truth was starting to sink in ... how am I going to deal with my family? Where do I begin to help them? This looked like a big mountain to climb, and I was not sure I was in shape for the trek ... I started to fear being Disfellowshipped, shunned, and maybe never get to talk to my future grandchildren? Or what if my clinically depressed wife kills herself if I leave the religion? These questions kept swimming in and out of my head. I could not sleep well, and started having bad dreams. I can never forget October 1991 and the Surprise it brought to me!
The PO phones me: “Brother Amazing, I called to remind you that we have KM School at the end of the month at the Woodburn Assembly Hall. Can all of us get together and ride with you in your van?” Sure, no problem. What else could I say? Oh boy, I get to ride with all the Elders contained in one van for 75 miles of glorious 2 hours of discussions each way ... for two days! Yet, I cannot say a word about the two most important books in the history of the Watch Tower Society. Grin and bear it ... as I attend ”The Last KM School!” ... To be continued ...
Hey! Now you are an outie, you can dance too!