I dissagree that JW's are like everyone else when they gossip. They are not, they are far far worse. It also hurts far more because after all you are cut off from any other community as a JW, and when your so called "loving brothers and sisters" start lying and gossiping about you it destorys your whole world.
From their point of view, when you have left they have to say nasty things about you... what else are they going to say? THey would never say " she left because she realised this so called "truth" is a lie" etc etc. It frightens them when you leave, makes them think maybe just maybe your right? SO they defend themselves by ripping you apart.
Was i was in and a "fine example" i was the vitim of gossip. The most awful lies were told about me. The story went around the whole congo... all of which belived the story without question, even though what i was being accussed of was completely out of charater for me. Not one person came to me for my story, not one of my "loving brothers and sisters" even gave me the benifit of the doubt, not one of them stopped for a mintue and thought " hang on i've known highdose for years and she would never do somthing like that". I'd spent my whole life in that congo... and this was how much i was "loved". Instead i was shunned, not DF'd mind but still shunned by the congo, when they did speak to me it was to tell me off for the awful things i was meant to have done. Everytime i put the person right, but then they would hear the story again and come and tell me off again.
Eventually ( talking a good year here) it was proved that i was innocent... not one of my brothers and sisters came to apologise to me, some of them even continued to shun me.
I'd be lying if i didn't admit that was the begining of the end for me... i know the WTBS like to bang on about apostates making people leave... but i tell you now, never mind apostates, the biggest threat JW's face is the "loving treatment" from their own kind. I'd be willing to bet that this takes far more out of the cult per year than any apostates do.