Funniest "guilty" thought

by NewChapter 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    In my jw daze, they were always warning that Satan transformed himself into an angel of light, and he knows what to tempt you with, blah blah

    An elder that studied with my ex told him that satan can't read our minds, so if we don't act on certain impulses, he won't know what to tempt us with. In other words, he explained, if you see a porn mag and pick it up, then satan will work with that. If you leave it be, he won't know it's a temptation.

    So, when I was divorced and not scripturally free, I used to think about an ex-boyfriend. A LOT. But I didn't know how to find him because his had family moved away. Every now and then I would think if I let satan know how very badly I wanted to talk to this person, maybe he'd find him for me. LOL THEN, I'd be all freaked out that I had such a thought.

    I don't believe in satan anymore, so I couldn't use him as my private detective. I used facebook instead! wait WAIT WAIT!

    Maybe WTBTS is RIGHT! FACEBOOK IS SATAN!!! prayforme

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    ROTFLMFAO!!!

    BTW, did you find him?

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    LOL! I did, just a couple months ago, through that EVIL FACEBOOK. We met for lunch and talk off and on. I remember why I broke up with him, but it's still nice having a little piece of my past here. He was my first boyfriend, and I dated him all through highschool and beyond. Growing up with him like that made me always want to know that he was at least okay.

  • serenitynow!
    serenitynow!

    All the times I've bought lotto tickets Satan never tempted me with any money. That brother was stupid.

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    Satan did a lousy job with me...no temptation of a really choice job paying craploads of money, no millionaire wanting to sweep me off my feet. I really wanted some of the peril. I really did. Then yeah, felt guilty about it.

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter

    HUH! Satan isn't nearly as much fun as they promised! What an amateur.

  • transhuman68
    transhuman68

    I was led astray by the pictures of the 'wordly' women in the Live Forever book.

    Stumbled by the Society's own publications- too funny.

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    Satan has never tempted me, I'm an angel

  • NewChapter
    NewChapter
    I was led astray by the pictures of the 'wordly' women in the Live Forever book.

    LOL!! How about the great harlot preparing to fornicate with the kings of the earth in the revelation book? LOL bordered on porn. I wonder who posed for those paintings!

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    Maybe satan had used most of his budget up for that year New Chapter and all he could afford to tempt you with was an extra chocolate chip cookie.

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