At the top of my ever-changing list of what I'd say if they ever call again:
Y'know, I've been a member of many clubs over the years, and I'm always interested in new things. I've even been in different religions for a while. Now tell me, if I joined Jehovah's Witnesses and got baptised ... and then after a few years decided I'd had enough or decided it wasn't really for me after all, would it be OK if I stopped going?
They'd say: Of course not! No one's compelled to join or stay, so if you want to leave, you just leave!
What if I wrote a letter and resigned my membership? Would there be any consequences?
They'd say: Well, gee .... probably not ... (exchanging worried glances at each other). It depends ... on what you're doing, you're lifestyle, whether it's still in harmony with God's org- .... I mean, in harmony with God.
See, someone told me that if you quit, which is what you guys call, uh, disassociation, right? .... even if by then you'd become my best friend, you would never talk to me again. Never even say hello. Even if you wanted to, you wouldn't be allowed.
And someone told me there's this new Watchtower article that says that anyone who disassociates -- which would be me, because I'd just decided to move on -- is lawless and wicked and an unrepentant sinner. And no Jehovah's Witness would ever be allowed to talk to me again. Isn't that what the Scientologists do when someone quits, they harass them? Isn't that what Jim Jones did at Jonestown? Isn't that what cults do?
See, you come around my neighbourhood trying to get people to quit their religion and join yours, and you say people should be free to choose, but once they're in, you use this blackmail to force them to stay ... and try to cut them off from their friends if they go. Don't you think that's rather dishonest?
And since you've got your Bible in your hand, can you just show me the scipture where it says someone who leaves a Christian denomination is wicked and lawless and should never be spoken to again for the rest of their life? Can you show me where Jesus did that? I mean, if you do that, it's based on the Bible, right?
