wife seen part of "dateline" online, about pedophile in JW land

by inbetween 19 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  inbetween

  a short update on my situation.

  I am still in, trying to help my family to see the light. My wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the WTS, reads WT articles with a critical mind, but she still views them as Gods org, and at times can get quit defensive about it.

  Last night though, she seemed devastated about a program she watched, reagrding pedophiles (dateline I guess)

  she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed. I listend to her complaints, thinking, how can I really help her. I could just let out everything I know, but this would just add to her feeling miserable, and it would probably cause her to become find excuses for the procedure of the WTS. And I think, she didnt quit get the whole point, since she tended to blame individuals rather then the org.

  additionally she must have come across some "apostates" that acted strange, trying to encourage every one to partake at the memorial and so on. Unfortunately, I have to say, actions like that do not help people to wake up, it rather confirms the demonizing of apostates, that the WTS always tries to convey.

  Anyway, I get the impression, her mind is slowly opening up towards information outside the WTS literature, otherwise she would have such a program just clicked off.

  However, she still clings to the idea, JW are Gods org, and Jehovah will weed out all bad ones (e.g. pedophiles)

  So my big question, how should I proceed ? I dont think, I can guide her to real apostate sites yet, it is still too early...

  and also, to confront her with what is clear to us, that there is no truth, or gods org, might be tooo devastating for her..I fear really for her emotional stability...!!
• 

  ambersun

  My wife is open to critisize certain aspects of the WTS, reads WT articles with a critical mind

  she was very disturbed, even to the point of being depressed.

  Anyway, I get the impression, her mind is slowly opening up towards information outside the WTS literature, otherwise she would have such a program just clicked off.

  Inbetween, it sounds to me that your wife is already well on her way to becoming concious of the truth about 'The Truth'. However, you are right to be cautious. It will no doubt be devastating for her to realise her life has been based round a lie for so long and she will have to come to terms with it in her own time and at her own pace.

  Just be there for her to provide the support she needs, then when you feel the time is right introduce her to this site and others like JW Facts - that is if she has not found them for herself by then!
• 

  NewChapter

  Hmmm. I wonder how she found that dateline on line? I mean did someone suggest it, or did she do a search. If she did a search, what prompted it? JW's are afraid to put something like "jehovahs witness pedophile" in the search engine. They worry about apostate information. Yet, she found that. Perhaps you could ask her in an off-hand way. If she actually searched for it, something may be brewing in her mind. Of course, I know you will still be very careful. I just think it would be helpful to know what motivated her.
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  Black Sheep

  The primary doctrine is that Jesus selected them in 1919.

  As long as she thinks there is a possiblity that could be true, the WT will have some control over her.

  Instead of telling her stuff she doesn't want to hear, try to find a way to get her to sit down with a pencil and paper and work out a king list for Neo-Babylon.

  Don't help her. Don't tell her anything. Don't show her anything. Just encourage her efforts.

  She is not out of trouble until she tells you they weren't selected. It doesn't work the other way around.

  Good luck

  Chris
• 

  inbetween

  ambersun: her background contributes to it as well, she seen hypocrisy and mistakes, but also how really bad people, that hurt her as well, became dfd, so she agrees with it in a way...

  newchapter: she was home and just fooling around on the internet (instead of going in field circus, bad girl ) and she typed in Jehovah witness, just out of curiosity...

  Blacksheep: while its true what you say, it is something working maybe for you and me, but she never was too deep into doctrine, I bet, she is not even aware of the 1919 choice of Jesus. She never could explain how to come to 1914, but for her important is the classical no trinity, no soul, no hellfire, but paradise earth, which makes total sense to her. and of course, seeing her grandparents there, kept her going, despite mistreatement in the org.
• 

  Black Sheep

  but for her important is the classical no trinity, no soul, no hellfire, but paradise earth, which makes total sense to her.

  You'll have a hard time getting her out discussing those topics. You can make a Dub look like a complete fool using John 20:28, but it won't make them leave.

  No matter how well you trash a doctrine, you can't have the truth because you weren't selected and they were. They are all distractions anyway. They bring them up all the time because they don't want to discuss the real issue.

  She never could explain how to come to 1914

  My mother pulls this one too. "I've never been good at math!" Rubbish. She's been balancing chequebooks since they were invented. This stuff is easy.

  Maybe she had tried, and failed. On nearly every subject, if you keep asking questions like, "How do you know?", you can eventually steer them to say that the WT/GB is spirit directed. Then you ask, "Since when?" If they don't know, or feign ignorance, get them to look it up and read it to you. Typing 1919 into the WTCD will give you plenty of hits if she pretends she doesn't know how to use it.
• 

  moshe

  However, she still clings to the idea, JW are Gods org, and Jehovah will weed out all bad ones

  Just wait untill she discovers a homosexual was on the Governing Body at one time. So much for Jehoobah being able to see inside the hearts of the WT leaders. Also, ask her to call Bethel and get the name of just ONE person who is a bona Fide member of the Faithful and Discreet Slave- of which the GB can't be part of that class, as they are anything but discreeet- these modern-day lords and rulers over the JWs in the KH.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/scandals/5466/1/Greenlees-Chitty-Some-Sources
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  Since you are still in, you have the right, (according to the Borg, the responsibility) to establish a Family Worship Night.

  Do it.

  Stick to the schedule and use it to read the Bible (mostly without any WT materials to go with it, except when working on a project like Black Sheep proposes). Read scriptures that JWs try to avoid/ignore. A few are below and many more are on the Most Ignored Scriptures thread:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/191589/1/Most-Ignored-Scriptures-by-JWs

  Holidays: Colossians 2:16-19; Romans 14

  Worship/Pray to Jesus/His Witnesses: Philippians 2:5-11; John 14; Acts 1:6-11

  Ok to challenge leaders when they're wrong/ok to question: Galatians 2:11-14; Romans 14:1

  Great Crowd IN Heaven: Revelation 19:1

  Important to NOT tell her what the scriptures say or mean. Just read them together and ASK HER what they say (not what they mean). When she gives a Watchtowerish answer, ask again, "does it SAY that?" and re-read the relevant portion that contradicts the WT interpretation. If she asks you what you think it means, do NOT give an apostate answer, just say, "I believe it means <quote the verse verbatim>."

  Try it. It really turns up the cognitive dissonance and you've done exactly what the Borg commands at the same time (Family Worship Night and regular Bible reading).
• 

  hubert

  Seeing the child abuse issue seems to bother her, try sticking to that topic. See if you can get her to do a search on Jehovah Witness child abuse, just to see if anything comes up. Tell her you believe there isn't anything there, but have her look it up to "confirm" your feelings. Test it out yourself first, and if you find anything that may help in the case of j.w. abuse, then give her a hint on how to find it.

  Also, find out if she has any other issues. Maybe you can "suggest" how to research them. Do this discreetly, though. Don't push too fast.

  Hubert
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  Band on the Run

  I agree that some conflict is ongoing. My JW aunt and uncle would have shut down the computer, burned it, and prayed with fasting.

  With the discussions on trying to free family members, I wonder if Twelve Step program ideas are applicable. Al-Anon focuses on the person, not the alcoholic. They believe Higher Power (an umbrella concept, mistakenly termed God in the literature) will work in the addicted person's life. Others cannot control the addicted person. Another tradition is attraction rather than promotion. I notice in discussions of politics a syndrome in me. If my views are resepcted, I look forward to hearing a contrary viewpoint. I am a progressive NY lawyer surrounded by other progressive NYers since college. It is almost borg like in NY. Being exposed to the opposing views, my mind becomes clearer. I realize the world does not revolve around a small, closed group of insiders.

  My nephew is an arch right winger addicted to Fox News. Politics is an excuse for him to play out existing family aggression towards me. If it were not politics, it could be the weather or the flights of birds in the air. I shut down. Altho I am so much older and more educated, it hurts deeply. I hate the Witnesses so much it scares me with the sheer intensity. When casual friends saw my JW aunt and uncle live their simple live, they were greatly impressed after only about ten minutes exposure. This was attraction. It was far more valuable for the WTBTS then hundreds of hours knocking door to door.

  I haven't read the cult literature yet. My brother was a Maoist for decades. He was not himself in many terrifying ways. The political views revolt me but the cult things were far, far worse. Maoism had an air of allure and even romanticism in the West in the 1960s and 1970s. One could not further left. I don't understand the kidnapping and deprogramming. I think you may be reverse brainwashing. Fortunately, he became disillusioned after many years. He is quite the capitalist today. Any discussion of his thinking or reasons is cut off promptly. I've cried and cried. He is still culty in many ways. I wonder if his personality groomed him for the recruitment. I'd like to break the legs and torture the people who brainwashed him. So I can imagine the pain of a spouse and the extraordinary strain on a marriage. I could not survive a Witness spouse. Life is hard enough.