So Caitlin isn't ignored as the other kids pass Valentines at school

by cabasilas 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • cabasilas
    cabasilas

    I'm getting my education degree this year and am working in a practicum placement in an elementary classroom (5th grade). It's a very practical way to see first-hand how teachers teach, discipline and help mold their students. One student is a JW. I learned this at Halloween as she had to do other projects instead of the Halloween related activities the other kids were doing. I could tell she felt a bit alienated despite everyone's attempts to minimize things.

    Christmas was even harder for her. The other kids were having so much fun and you could tell she felt awkward about what they were doing. Not that she didn't want to be there. She seemed conflicted about wanting to participate and yet she knew she wasn't supposed to. Still, I noticed that Caitlin did join in some of the songs and art activities. (These were spontaneous events and she was offered other activities to do in their place but she chose not to do the substitute activity.) The teacher knows I'm an ex-JW and we've talked about the situation a bit. We both agreed that we are supposed to respect the family's wishes but we also are not supposed to police things. If the student voluntarily decides they want to join with the other students as they celebrate a holiday even though they are given substitute assignments, that's up to them. (Personally, I'm surprised the parents haven't arranged to pull her out when the class has such parties.)

    All the past week students have been excited about sharing Valentine's Day cards tomorrow. They are making special boxes to put their cards in. The teacher I work with was concerned that Caitlin does not have to endure watching all the other students get cards from their friends while she has to abstain. So, Friday, Caitlin was sent out to do help another classroom for a few minutes with a project. The teacher announced to the kids: "You know, Caitlin, doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day, and we respect her choice not to celebrate holidays. But, we want Caitlin to know that she's a neat kid and that we all like her." She then passed out special cards that only had pictures of animals on them (Caitlin loves animals) and the teacher said: "Write a short note to Caitlin and tell her that you like her and that she's a special friend. Don't put a heart on it or use the word 'Valentine.' We respect that she doesn't celebrate the holiday but I want her to not feel left out Monday." The kids quickly composed short notes of friendship for her. Caitlin will get these cards (that have no mention of Valentine's Day) as the other kids get theirs.

    I think the kids learned a valuable lesson. In a diverse society we need to respect differences. Yet, they also learned the importance of also being sensitive to someone who might feel left out from the rest of the class. I think this teacher deserves a few kudos for this idea!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    That's a great idea. I wish I had had a teacher like that when I was in grade school.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    What a beautiful thing to do!

    I was the only JW in my year and I'm sure it was difficult at times for the teachers to accommodate my parents' JW wishes while making sure I wasn't left out.

    Teachers have a difficult job enough as it is.

    I hope Caitlin has a lovely day tomorrow receiving her friendship cards.

  • DanaBug
    DanaBug

    That is such a great idea! Her parents might be hard-pressed to find anything wrong with that. Kind of like a present given at Christmas that's not wrapped.

    I always found V day the hardest, even though it was one day. I got cards and just couldn't refuse them. I felt like such a jerk when I didn't have anything in return. Then I'd feel guilty for taking them and have to trash them before I got home or hide them until I could. I hope that sticks with her, how it felt to be included.

  • cabasilas
    cabasilas

    I'm heading off to my practicum this morning and am anxious to see what happens when Caitlin gets her cards from her classmates today. Hopefully she'll receive them without any feelings of guilt. I don't think there'd be a conflict in JW belief with this but sometimes children are more black and white than their parents.

  • RebeccaChi
    RebeccaChi

    Being a born-in with an over-zealous mother, I can still feel the pain of being left out of holiday celebrations. What a kind teacher! One thing that a few teachers did for me (and my mom allowed it) was during these holidays my teachers would give me a little gift or treat and they would specifically say it wasn't for the holiday but for a "job well done" and etc . . That always meant a lot.

    Why the F do JW's even have kids??!!

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    Oh....I'm sure the parents will have something to say about it. JWs are the most nit pickier fault finders there are.

  • Nice_Dream
    Nice_Dream

    What a beautiful idea! The other children learn about diversity, and the little girl gets to feel loved and special. I also felt really left out on Valentine's Day (who doesn't want to decorate a cool mailbox and deliver letters!?) When I was in Grade 3, one girl made me a special card that was in the shape of my initial and told me how special I was. I haven't forgot about it to this day. It helps JWs realize that "wordly" people aren't bad, and are loving.

  • sleepingbeauty
    sleepingbeauty

    Beautiful idea regarding the friendship cards, but I bet the JW parents will frown on this because she has formed friendships with the World !!!

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    When I was a child I learned never to take my valentines or any other holiday stuff home. Less drama that way.

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