Disassociation Letter

by dontplaceliterature 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  Outaservice

  If you do decide to write a letter of disassociation, timing is of the essence. As soon as the body of Elders receive it they will contact/tell all they can not to read anything sent from you.

  So, try and send it maybe on a Sunday night so that your friends/relatives will get it before a big congregation meeting where you would be cut off on the path.

  It might be good to be a little on the brief side but let them know that if ever they want to know more details/facts they can contact you at.......(address, e-mail, phone, etc., etc.) Confirm your love for God and them and consider the 'seed' planted in their heart. Will it grow? Who knows.

  Outaservice
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  misanthropic

  I know a family that all left and disassociated themselves, sending personal letters to the families they knew. I remember everyone saying how they were a bunch of apostates. People are going to say what they will, you do what you feel you need to do and don't worry about what anyone thinks.
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  elder-schmelder

  I can't decide if it would be better for me to send a letter or not also. I want to just to end it, but I dont want to lose all contact with my partents and my inlaws. I think that I have to just keep fading.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  I've given this subject some thought, although my plan is to fade. I won't send letters to my friends. Instead, I've already had some conversations with friends and family on carefully selected topics. One frequent subject has been blood, and most of my family and some of my "friends" understand why I haven't signed the death document. The clincher in my case is that they have all clearly understood my scriptural explanation and the confusion/contradictions of WT policy.

  On the one hand, it's extremely hard for any of them to take action based on what I've said. They can't "turn me in" because I only converse with one at a time, shaking up the "two witness" rule. And since I didn't put anything in writing, they would have to give a full explanation of the conversation, showing that they were fully listening to something "apostate". On the other hand, it's hard for them to take action because... I'm right and they couldn't refute my statements, and they frankly understand that WT teaching doesn't agree with what's right. As accustomed to "cognative dissonance" as JWs are, I've learned that level where they understand what WT says, but what Billy says is better and should be WT policy.

  Of course, everyone else's results will vary.
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  cult classic

  We tossed around the letter option. But decided against it because of those who accept our position not to be witnesses anymore. These include siblings, parents, and a handful of our friends who served with us in the congregation and at Bethel. Right now they couldn't care less that we stopped going. They know why and understand. However, I don't want to put them in a position where their conscience gets pricked and they have to choose.

  The fact is, if you have conviction about your decision, there is nothing they can do. If you keep your chin up and refuse to look downtrodden they will shun/label you anyway.

  I understand the clean break that a DA letter provides. It is the ultimate F/U to the whole thing.

  But to answer the OP - I would send the letter to those that I cared about first.
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  Truth and Justice

  dontplaceliterature,

  An interesting topic! I have to say that when I decided it was enough, I walked out. I did not write a letter because I didn't feel it was necessary. I did not join a club or a membership, so no letter was needed. I do know that when your at a meeting and they announce before everyone that you have been disfellowshipped or DA, then the wheels of peoples minds start turning, imagination starts going wild, and they think that the BOE are there to protect the flock.

  So you have some that want to send a letter, if thats what you want to do, then go ahead, but first think every thing out to the detail before you send it.

  If it were me, I would send the letter to my friends first explaining in no more than a 1 page letter your reason for leaving or an explanation of how you love Jehovah and Christ but can not go along with some of the teachings that they are scripturally wrong on. When writing the letter make sure that at the top of your letter, you write the words- " THIS LETTER HAS BEEN SENT TO THE BODY OF ELDERS." This way when they see that, it will cushion their thinking that "Well the BOE is getting the letter, so it's OK if I read it". If you don't make that clear right away, they'll just throw it away.

  Now, when you send a letter to the BOE, you tell them that you have sent the same copy of letter to everyone in the congregation. This way they can't fidge, twist, or manipulate the letter. It would sure be hard to figure out what talk they will give on the next Thursday night considering your situation, because everybody knows, but they'll come up with something.

  I'm just glad that its over for me, I just faded. I still have some who talk to me because they know what kind of person I really am. These people are so tired and beaten, that you can see it in there persona. I am starting to see it alittle bit in the other half of my family who are still in. I see hints and clues indicated to me, at least my parents and me are hopeful.

  Dontplaceliterature, I wish you luck whatever you do! Be hopeful!

  Happy Trails, Truth and Justice
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  besty

  My lifetime best friend of 20 years refused to return my calls when he heard 3rd hand that I was an apostate - this being 2 months before I was DF'd.

  This is a mind control cult and the recruits will act accordingly - if you genuinely want to help people out, a letter is not the way to do it.

  If you want to get it off your chest and make a clean break then a letter may help with that. I wrote one :-)