Fading vs. D'F'd

Band on the Run

I don't know the details. Is it true that if you slowly withdraw, you are free to go but if you are active and do an offense, you are shunned. Is their principle whether you are appropriating and blemishing the name vs. severity of the actual offense. It does not sound logical...duh

zeroday*

It's all about WTS legalize they can take no action against you without any proof. If you fade you are considered inactive if you are caught in a sin then the legalize kicks in and they can act...

blondie

I am inactive and people talk to me but it is not the same "closeness" and "freeness of speech" when you are attending meetings. Individual jws will still limit contact with an inactive jw and some even treat the person as if they were df'd. But "legally" there is no reason to "shun" an inactive person.

Band on the Run

I fail to see the reasoning behind the distinction. The only difference I see is that if you are active, it is like asking if the Pope is Catholic? Maybe shun for public offense but private stuff? It reminds me of Thomas More keeping his silence when asked to sign a document endorsing King Henry's marriage to Anne Boelyn and delegitimizing his daughter Mary.

a bunch of silly rules. I just realized someone writes the Elders Manual. Someone has all this power over people's affairs. It must be heady.

wobble

JW's religion ...A Bunch of Silly Rules..... Good definition !

JW's are taught that even ones still attending, and perhaps even doing a bit of token F.S, are to be kept at arms lenghth if they are judged to be "spiritually weak". the only safe ones to associate with closely, or even talk to much, are thoroughly indoctrinated fanatical JW's, in th WT's view.

Of course, you are encouraged to make this judgement yourself, it won't be spelled out for you , so JW's spend their time from the moment they meet you, judging and estimating your value, and then avoiding you if you do not measure up.

Hardly Christlike.

undercover

Is it true that if you slowly withdraw, you are free to go but if you are active and do an offense, you are shunned.

Ah, the big dilema for recently enlightened JWs... to fade or DA/get DFd

There's no simple yes/no answer to this.

Fading is the attempt to leave the day to day life of being a JW with the hope of never being targeted for counsel, or JC meetings, etc. Doing this succesfully means leaving it behind but not being officially labeled so to face forced ostracism from the rest of congregation. Fading does not mean that you're "free to go" as you are still on the books as a member and technically subject to rules/doctrine. That doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be hunted down but it doesn't mean that you're free and clear either. There are many variables as to how it will go down. A lot depends on the strictness of the local body of elders. I think that plays as much into it as anything. Will they let bygones be bygones...or will they seek to make an example or prove a point?

The downside to fading is that, unless you move to an area where no one knows you, any little thing could come back to haunt you. From being seen smoking a cigarette, to coming out of a seedy nightclub or having holiday decorations on your house. These are signals that will bring elders a-calling. The upside is that if you manage to fade without much trouble, then you can still associate with JW family/friends without the stigma of being "apostate" or "DFd". Even then, a lot of JWs will be cautious in their association with you. Some may even shun you as they have privately "marked" you as bad association. Different classification, end result the same.

The decision to fade or go out with a bang comes down to each person and what they're trying to accomplish. Some can't get shut of it fast enough and may not have deep family ties in the religion, therefore, DA and be done with it. Others come from 2nd and 3rd generations of JWs and simply DAing and walking away is not so simple.

Fading doesn't always work. There are many horror stories of people on this board who attempted to slip quietly away only to be hounded and stalked to the point of either being DFd or DAing themselves just to end the harrassment. And then there are some stories of people who managed to fade with little to no fanfare or repurcussions.

It really is just a bunch of silly rules written by men seeking to control other people.

Pahpa

If you are an active JW and try to "fade" it is much more difficult to avoid

a visit from the elders. In many cases, well meaning family members or

friends will notify an elder and request a visit to help one "adjust his

thinking." But in fact, the only concern the elders have is whether or not

one accepts the Watchtower as "God's channel."

The most successful "fade" is when one moves completely out of

an area and no longer attends the meetings. As long as a person

is not "legally" disfellowshipped or disassociated JWs usually feel they

can associate regardless of the circumstances even if it may involve serious

moral lapses.

Mr. Falcon

It really is just a bunch of silly rules written by men seeking to control other people.

Absolutely true, this is. It's quite a bit of double-standard. So if someone stops going and doing everything that a JW is supposed to do, they are still technically allowed to associate with JWs. In contrast, a DF'd person who is trying to get reinstated and faithfully comes to every meeting and endures shame is not allowed to even say hello to anyone. This makes no sense.

Additionally, and I don't know if anyone here has heard of something similar, I have heard from inactive JWs who have "returned to the flock" that the elders sometimes have told them that what they did in the "world" need not be brought up, since all that time that they were inactive, they were basically NOT Jehovah's Witnesses. On the other hand, there are elders who are determined to put you before a witch trial. So it's all over the board. Like undercover said, it's all comes down to circumstance and what elders you're dealing with.

I remember we once had a CO tell us that since the whole point of being a Jehovah's Witness is to PREACH, if you go one month without preaching you are considered inactive and technically you are NOT a Jehovah's Witness. If I had known it was that easy, I would have stopped going in field service YEARS ago.

dogon

It depends largely on the congregation and the elders. If you fade away and do not cause any trouble by talking against the org. They may only visit you once a year. If you are known to talk against the org. they will most likely come after you to "keep the org clean" If you are dfed they will say they have cleaned up the org. I like to keep them wanting to df me and not give them the rope. I once told an elder who kept asking me to just say I did not believe that the org was gods org on earth, that it was his job to find out don't ask me to give you the rope to hang me. They hate that.

TardNFeatheredJW

I left on my own about 20 years ago. Today a recently reinstated friend dropped in. He told me to keep his visit private because 'they' consider me df'd even though they are aware I am not.

Fading vs. D'F'd

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