Are you a true apostate?

by sleepy 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • sleepy
    sleepy

    Are you a true apostate?
    Well are you?
    Heres a test that has been put together by the worlds top scientists to determine your true level of apostateness.

    You recieve the latest Watchtower and Awake do you,
    A.Devour its contents eagerly.
    B.Have a look to find the errors.
    C.Throw it in the bin.
    D.Cover it in petrol, set light to it and dance around praising Satan.

    How do yo feel about the elders ?
    A.Gifts in men.
    B.Just men trying their best but mislead.
    C.A pain in the backside
    D.Bunch of W*****S

    If a Jw called on you would you,
    A.Invite him in as you are one too.
    B.Have a chat on the door about your different beliefs.
    C.Say no thanks and shut the door."W*****S"
    D."Yes! this gives me a chance to use that trap door I made under our door step"

    If Ruthurford was brought back to life by mad scientists would you,
    A.shake him by the hand and complement him on a job well done as president.
    B.Have a chat about some concerns you have over his teachings.
    C."This is a chance to give that W****R a piece of my mind"
    D.Left hook , jab ,jab , hook , Knock Out!!

    Witnesses realise they have been too soft on apostates and deside they should be shot, do you,
    A.Jump for joy and start shinning your gun.
    B."hey this isn't right ,we have to get a campain to stop this"
    C.Run for the hills , and plan your attack.
    D Uzi out , fully loaded "Here I come Bethalite W*****S!!"

    Results.
    Mainly
    A.Hey youre a J Dub , Get out of here!!
    B.You realise the society is wrong and do the best you can to educate people.
    C.Strongly opposed
    D.Apostate city Arizona you W****R.Let rip.

  • picosito
    picosito

    Hey, sleepy:

    Please fill us 'mericuns in on the UK badwords W****S and W****R. The only way we'll get it, if we don't already know it, is if you fill in the ****'s and give us some contextual details. That will help us to enlarge our obscene vocabulary interculturally and will also help us enrich our posts.

    Thanks.

    Picosito.

  • NameWithheld
    NameWithheld

    = WANKER / WANKERS

  • target
    target

    I'm a 'D', I'm a 'D'. Trap door's ready. Usi fully loaded. Dog is snarling. Where are they? Hot oil is boiling. Come on, come on! Make my day!

    Target

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    Hmmm...I only rated a "C". Obviously my apostate spirituality is weak, and I have not been doing all I can in the anti-WT-Kingdom work. I'll have to put forth a greater effort in the future to increase my apostate meeting attendance and my non-field service hours. Until I do, I'll understand if you choose not to extend any apostate privileges to me.

    Tom
    "The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

  • SexyTeen
    SexyTeen

    Oh yessssss, I'm an apostate!

  • sf
    sf

    When I was disfellowshipped, I am not sure how I wasviewed in the congregation or what label they or some attached to me. It's something I ponder of late; what were they all saying back then? Was I dubbed an "apostate" or "a christian w/ conduct unbecoming"? Who knows?

    I was not dfed for questioning Watchtower teachings, policies or doctrines. I was canned for "conduct unbecoming a christian" (sex, drugs and rocknroll) hahaha, how ridiculous that sounds now...as riDICKulousas "now only satan hears your PRAYERS".

    Yet, once I had been hit by the "freight train" (reading CofC, reading freeminds journal and website, plus all my path of research using search engines) and told my mom that "i had recently discovered disturbing things about your "religion"", BAM!, I was now "Very Apostate" by my mothers definition.

    So there you have it. My experience was that once I started searching and discovered and uncovered serious "schtuff" re: this organizations criminal corruption; not to mention the seriously flawed blood policy, I was/am/always will be, THE ENEMY. Even in that towns cong, if I were to walk thru those doors on "any given sunday" I would seriously cause chaos amongst the PRESIDING ELDERS. Bwahhhh oh what a dream that would be. To walk thru those doors, the very place that force fed me so much toxic waste,and vomit it all back right where IT belongs. What a therapuetic "release" that would be. What a weight lifted out of my gut that would be. Yet, I'd never get past the parking lot...this I KNOW.

    You bastards.

    So Be IT!

    If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger

  • Valis
    Valis

    Sexyteen...maybe your an enlarged prostate, (definite pain in the ass)......

    Sleepy, I think I scored off the chart ...heretic might better fit, but I'll leave that for my colleagues to decide.

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • BritBoy
    BritBoy

    Valis!!

    ROTFLMAO!!! Love the enlarged prostate comment! Indeed he/she/it is!!!

    Brit

    They wouldn't have made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules!

  • SYN
    SYN

    I think it's doubtful whether SexyTeen even has a prostate or not. Do you have a prostate 'Stacia'? You know comments like these little beauties -

    {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{KISSES, WET TONGUE}}}}}}}}}
    {{{{{{{{KICK IN THE ASS}}}}}}}}

    - they aren't doing much for your supposed 'situation'. Why don't you just come clean?

    "I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone." -- Charles Darwin, The Origin Of Species, 1869.

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